For example, Marmite Crumpets don’t exist. You cannot buy them at the supermarket. To be clear: you can buy crumpets, you can buy marmite, you can buy butter; but you have to assemble them at home.

If you walk into a breakfast cafe, they will happily serve you sausage / egg / bacon / french toast / bubble / squeak (whatever that is). But no marmite crumpets. If you ask them to make it, they will give you a very strange look. It’s not typically offered. It’s something you just have to make at home.

It is unbuyable. Any tourist who comes to the UK to try a Marmite crumpet would need to bring a toaster or an oven with them, or quickly befriend a brit and hope that they have all the ingredients at home.

It’s not a secret. You just can’t have it.

*munches into crumpet thoughtfully, and salivates at the juicy savory delight, whilst staring at you pityingly and condescendingly*

Anyway, what’s something that I could never experience unless I made it myself in your local?

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nzEnglish
    1·
    1 hour ago

    Marmite on Weetbix.

    Ingredients:

    • 1 Weetbix
    • butter (lots)
    • Marmite (lots)

    Method:
    Select a choice looking compressed wheat brick, apply a thick layer of butter, spread the Marmite across the layer of butter.

    This was a common school snack when I was growing up.

  • oo1@lemmings.worldEnglish
    1·
    2 hours ago

    Some cafes will do it - not as standard, but a few - maybe try the ones trying to be 1-up from a greasy. https://seahousescafe.co.uk/the-breakfast-menu

    As will many hotel breakfasts, there’s often little single serving marmite things in with the single serving jam packets. I’d say about half the hotels i’ve stayed in with decent cooked breakfast have had it on offer.

    I’ve also seen it in little roadside food van / trailer type things too.

    Anyway, you want sainsbury’s yeast extract instead of marmite, it’s way gloopier and nicer tasting.

  • BmeBenji@lemm.ee
    321·
    21 hours ago

    A Twinkie weiner sandwich.

    1. Cook a hot dog
    2. Slice a twinkie halfway through the bottom longwise to get something like a hotdog bun
    3. Insert the cooked hotdog into newly created bun
    4. Squirt easy cheese along the length of the hot dog
    5. Dip in milk
    6. Eat

    Weird Al invented this in 1989 in his movie UHF and it’s still not available in stores for some reason

  • Papanca@lemmy.worldEnglish
    33·
    21 hours ago

    Decent fitting clothes with deep pockets and quality fabrics with the colors i like

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
        1·
        1 hour ago

        But they do?

        I had to buy a lewis pair because tall people doesn’t exist, and my stuff gets lost in the pockets.

        To be fair, my monoprix jeans pockets are exactly 1/2 smartphone deep.

      • Papanca@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        17 hours ago

        Me neither; after all, complaints about pockets are around everywhere. But at least i’ve learned how to deepen existing pockets. Next step will be how to create pockets

    • GraniteM@lemmy.world
      1·
      13 hours ago

      I’ve only ever found one zip-up hoodie with decent insulation and pockets deep enough that my phone won’t fall out of them if I’m not careful, and you better believe I’m taking good care of it.

    • Euler_eix@lemmy.world
      1·
      15 hours ago

      I had the same issue until I discovered MTailor. It’s all I wear now. A bit more expensive but totally worth it.

      • Papanca@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        17 hours ago

        True, but it’s an important reason for many people to start to learn how to make their own clothes. It takes effort, but one can learn how to do this. And it used to be a very common skill. With today’s junk on the market, we have a good enough reason to start learning.

        • MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          3·
          8 hours ago

          I can sew, but finding decent fabrics is hard. Back in the 70s I made all my own clothes and I can still remember some of the fantastic fabrics I used: a ming blue paisley sateen cotton; a red denim (for a duffel jacket with a toning floral for the hood lining); a soft purple lightweight wool; a dark green raw silk; glorious Chinese rayon florals in rich colours. So much choice!

        • tetris11@lemmy.mlOP
          4·
          16 hours ago

          I patch my old socks with older socks, if that helps. And I fix armpit tears with a rough stitch. That’s about it.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    141·
    18 hours ago

    Ha! We can get marmite and vegemite here in the states. And they’re both fucking delicious when used right.

    But, you can’t get applebutter anything in the wild around here. Might be possible elsewhere, but I haven’t run across it.

    Not sure what is and isn’t a thing elsewhere, but applebutter isa strongly spiced apple product used as a spread. It’s sweet rather than savory. It typically features cloves, cinnamon and allspice as the main spices, in varying proportions. It is also fucking amazing.

    But you won’t find it in restaurants at all.

    There is a great southern tradition of applebutter biscuits. Biscuits here, again in case it isn’t known, are a fluffy, light, scone-like quickbread. And it’s similar to your scenario. Places could offer that as a menu option and bring it to you. They could possibly make a deal for individual packets of it like exist for jelly, and bring that with biscuits. But nobody does.

    It’s one of those things that if you came over here, you can’t find it in restaurants. Even worse, while you can buy commercially made applebutter (there’s a few brands out there) they are all inferior to even mid tier homemade applebutter. So you can’t even buy the experience the way people can at home. You can’t just go out and buy Whitehouse applebutter and get the right texture and taste on your biscuits (or toast, or crumpets).

    The commercially made options are all too thin for one thing. They don’t spread like applebutter is supposed to. It’s supposed to have a thick consistency, closer to something like a jam or preserve. The commercial stuff is also over-homogeneous and too finely textured. Homemade is going to have small chunks of softened apple as opposed to a blended texture.

    The spice mix in store bought also tends to be both blander and too , I dunno, even? Homemade, you get layers of the spices. Store bought, you get one layer, there’s no depth to it. Part of that is it being made in huge batches, and part is the longer time from jar to your mouth; so I can’t say it’s anything the makers have cheaped out on or anything. But it is not as good as what you make yourself (or someone’s grammy makes).

    Also, marmite and applebutter on toast is absurd in how good it is. The savory and salty bang of marmite with a spoonful of sweet, spicy applebutter on top will make you want to slap yo mama. I find marmite and vegemite don’t do well on biscuits compared to toast, english muffins, or the like. Too much bread for it to really pop unless you do an entire spoonful, at which point it’s too much.

    • BCsven
      2·
      6 hours ago

      Have you tried Branston pickle in a cheese sandwich?

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        6 hours ago

        No, but I’ll be looking to see if I can obtain those. I really do love trying stuff like that. It doesn’t always turn out that I like it, but even a bad experience is a good experience, if you dig.

        Awww yeah, the Publix two towns over has it. And I looked at the ingredients, I think I’m going to love it

    • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
      12·
      6 hours ago

      I can literally go to any diner around me and there will be individually packaged containers of apple butter, usually next to whatever little packages of jelly they have on offer. I’m sorry you’ve suffered without for so long not noticing them

    • EbenezerScrew@lemmy.world
      5·
      15 hours ago

      Cracker Barrel gives you biscuits before they bring out your meal and you can request Apple Butter for them. I think usually they bring out sausage gravy.

      I remember the apple butter being ok, but nothing like the homemade stuff cooked over a fire and stirred continously for 12 hours.

    • anon6789@lemmy.world
      5·
      18 hours ago

      Apple butter is an underrated condiment. I used to eat it on pancakes instead of syrup as a kid, and I put it in oatmeal and such as an adult. I don’t have it often nowadays, but there’s a place that produces it and other fruit butters nearby, and there’s occasionally some other brands in stores and roadside shops.

      For those that haven’t had it, I guess imagine baked apples or an apple dumpling but reduced down so it is super concentrated into something spreadable.

    • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
      3·
      17 hours ago

      Eey, I make apple butter! It’s great. I do know some places you can buy it though…roadside stands! Farmer stalls or markets. Though those may be more common here, being the garden state. Still better making it at home, get to pick the apples and how much you let it cook down!

  • ExtremeDullard@lemmy.sdf.org
    556·
    23 hours ago

    Here’s something that you can’t buy outside of Italy: mozzarella. I tasted proper mozzarella in Tuscany and it’s nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world, and for a good reason: real mozzarella has a shelf life shorter than Trump’s attention span.

    • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.comEnglish
      25·
      21 hours ago

      We have a deli here that makes fresh moz daily, you can find places that do it all over. Shelf-life really only keeps it out of supermarkets. The problem for many forms of cheese in many countries, and especially the US, is the requirements around pasturization. Completely changes the texture and taste. And for moz specifically, the lack of Buffalo.

    • tetris11@lemmy.mlOP
      391·
      23 hours ago

      You mean those watery packets of cheese I sometimes buy aren’t supposed to taste like watered down kangaroo testicles?

  • Riskable@programming.devEnglish
    174·
    20 hours ago

    Marmite crumpets shouldn’t exist!

    What other cosmic horrors are you creating in your kitchen‽

  • Moonguide@lemmy.ml
    9·
    20 hours ago

    Coffee. I used to be a coffee fiend, I drank up to 12-13 cups a day, and only stopped because it was worsening my anxiety. I live in a coffee producing country and learnt how to make a good cup in an espresso machine, even got all the doodads to make the process standardized and get the exact same cup every time.

    I can only drink coffee made by select hands now. Everything else tastes like jet fuel, and it’s worse when travelling.

    • kugel7c@feddit.orgDeutsch
      1·
      1 hour ago

      The sad thing is that it is buyable but not in places below like 200k population. In Europe idk how far third wave type coffe got everywhere else but I’d imagine in international cities it’s largely available all over the world.

      It’s frankly insane how different a specialty coffe place is from a Caffe. And how many specialty coffe places there are in big cities/ university towns.

      The provinces seem to not be able to sustain good coffe unfortunately. Unless there is someone who doesn’t care about the balance sheet.

    • tetris11@lemmy.mlOP
      11·
      20 hours ago

      That sounds like an intense relationship you have with coffee. I have to admit, 2-3 a day and I get palpatations and am unable to sleep. I rarely drink it for the flavour

      • Moonguide@lemmy.ml
        2·
        16 hours ago

        Oh I needed it for college. I was impatient and pushed myself too hard during my last 2 years, some weeks I slept fewer than 10 hours collectively.

        I’ve since cut it almost entirely, and because of that my usual cup gives me the jitters. I still love coffee and would like nothing more than having one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but my body can’t take it anymore (nor can my mental health honestly). Aging sucks, lol.

    • JohnnyCanuck
      3·
      19 hours ago

      I make sure to never get attached to one brew so I can drink it anywhere, anytime. I’ll drink instant without hot water if I need to (and not just frappe.)