Lucky for me my parents were both “I didn’t save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I’m older”, so I don’t have to suffer through this.
And that is there choice, and most of what’s left over will go into their care home expenses anyway, that’ll drive them bankrupt either way.
That and my parents will likely be alive longer than me anyway.
Unless things go terribly wrong (and they might) my daughter stands to get a second house and a quarter of a million $
No offense my guy but a quarter mill and a house will probably be easily eaten up but your end of life care. Regardless I hope you have that set up in a trust for your daughter so she doesn’t have to pay taxes on it if there is something left.
My mother was a wonderful person, poor, and a boomer. She never had anything handed to her. We need to stop shitting on specific generations (it’s a distraction ) and target our hate towards the class divides between us instead.
Yes… That is their money. They should spend and enjoy it.
They also voted for Bush II’s wars with money borrowed from a generation that couldn’t vote yet.
That is their money.
In 2022, 65% of people ages 65 to 74 had debt, up from 50% in 1989. In 2022, 53% of households headed by someone 75 or older had debt, compared to 32% in 1992.
In fairness, this article is pure bait. It neglected the rising cost of living for people on fixed incomes and treats these draw downs on savings as a frivolity, rather than a consequence of inflation on senior care and medical needs.
But liquidating household assets via instruments like reverse mortgages and loans against large savings accounts and pensions can mean saddling your children and grandchildren with big debts even after you’re gone.
Yeah, the money is mostly spent on medical care, getting scammed and retirement homes. Capitalism is making sure all that money goes to the 1% before it ever gets to you.
It’s not their money. It’s rent money they stole from the next generations by being parasites hoarding property as an investment.
And you have the option to do the same, or you don’t, its up to you
Probably the rest of us won’t last much longer than them now anyway.
My parents worked hard all their lives and have had very little to show for it. As much as I didn’t realise it at the time, I never really wanted for anything, but I’m sure my parents skipped meals on occasion.
Now they’re retired they have a bit of money from state pension and superannuation funds, as well as a bit my mum inherited from her parents. It’s still not a lot, but they’re able to live in the comparative luxury they always deserved.
A couple of year back they splurged and took a trip to the UK, which had been on their bucket lists since before I was born. They seemed to feel like they had to explain why they were spending the money, and I reassured them that it was their money, not mine.
My wife and I are in good, stable jobs and we don’t need their cash. Let them enjoy themselves while they still can.
I think pretty much everyone agrees with your take here. People are just saying that if kids are struggling and parents can afford it, it’s weird for the parents not to help out financially.
Obviously the circumstances matter and if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy or a drug addict you don’t want to enable that but if they have their own kids and are working full time I would always support my kids financially if they needed that and I was able to.
Obviously the circumstances matter and if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy or a drug addict
Trying to explain to a guy with chronic back pain that the relief he’s seeking is self-indulgent and the time he’s spending plotting the death of a CEO could be better spent building a new kind of online gambling website.
if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy
We’re talking about 40 year olds.
And what a convenient excuse to call anyone struggling lazy. So many lazy people with full time jobs that don’t pay enough to pay boomers their inflated rents. Must be drugs.
Yo, all I asked for was for them to keep me alive long enough so that I can too become a productive member in society. They owe me nothing.
Reading this thread, I feel like having a nice rant:
“Waah, all our problems are caused by the boomers! They’re all rich and selfish, they had the easy life and got all the money and the houses and ruined the environment while our lives were ruined!” Keep believing that and stay distracted! while the oligarchy laughs it’s ass off at you.
Pay no attention to all those poor boomers who could never get a house, who are scraping to get by–those are the exceptions that prove the rule, they must have been especially lazy or stupid boomers, if they’re not rich like the vast majority of boomers! Yeah, that’s it.
Pay no attention to the corporations that have bought up all the housing so they can rent it to you at any price they like, that has nothing to do with housing costs–it’s the boomers who were too selfish to leave you their house when they died who are to blame! Yeah, that’s it.
Pay no attention to the oil companies and big corporations that control congress to keep their profits private and costs socialized so they can spew their effluent into the environment as the world burns and the ice caps melt, it’s the boomers’ fault! Boomers only started the environmental movement and demonstrated and pressured the government into creating the EPA, Clean Air Act, and many more, but so what, all the bad things are still their fault.
Stay distracted! Keep believing what you’re told and blaming who you’re told to blame as you get older and older and the boomers all die, and then enjoy how Gen B and Gen C, etc. hate you and rail against you and blame you for all their problems. Why didn’t you–yes you! stop global warming? You could have, but you didn’t give a fuck. You who had it so easy, living your selfish life with your fresh water and electricity and air conditioning and video games and all those nice things, while their lives were ruined? It’s all your fault!
Never the oligarchs, though. Not them.
[I can also do another version of this for the right wingers, substituting immigrants for boomers].
Yeah, I know of plenty of boomers that have had to delay retirement because they simply didn’t have enough money. I’ve known several that finally retired, late, then passed away a few months later. Never got the chance to enjoy retirement at all.
My parents were working part time jobs, instead of relaxing and enjoying retirement, until a few years ago. Those jobs were having obvious effects on their health and well-being, too; I was convinced at least one of them was going to pass away before long. Fortunately, they’re now in a position now where at least they don’t have to work - but my brothers and I sent them money to replace their HVAC system when it died a few months ago, so it’s not like they’re rolling in dough or will leave us some huge inheritance.
How much would it suck to get to 70 and realize you still have to keep working? I mean, if you enjoy it and want to keep working, great, go for it. But to be forced to do it? That would suck. It doesn’t matter what generation you are.
Yeah my parents:
explicitly told me they’re giving me nothing
told me they’d give my hypothetical grandchildren something because (and I cannot express to you enough that they explicitly stated this OUT LOUD WITH WORDS) that they would love the grandchildren more than me. My mother has talked to me at length about how she already likes these people that don’t exist more than me.
Are constantly critical of my appearance. When I tried to wear makeup as a child they didn’t want me to look “promiscuous” (because somehow using an SAT word makes it ok to tell your 10-year-old they look like a whore). My mother was constantly critical of how short clothing looked on me because I was so tall or how my chest looked in shirts because it was too big. Now that I’ve gotten those tits removed and I dress more masculine even though I never even really “came out” as anything because I just don’t care enough about gender that’s also not ok because I’m not acting my gender.
They don’t comfort me when I’m upset. They either tell me I’m upset about something stupid or say that I should be worried about more other things. I worked in Healthcare while in nursing school through the first half of COVID them graduated mid-pandemic and every time I’d mention stuff about how broken our Healthcare system is they’d want to have a “fun debate” about MAGA shit then make fun of me for getting emotional. One time I was sitting suicide watch because a guy kept ripping the ventilator mask off and begging me to let him die. The only thing that got him to keep it on was me summing up the plots of the last five books I read because after the first four hours I ran out of things to talk to him about to keep him distracted. Y’all. They thought my PTSD flashbacks were funny.
My parents are both rocket scientists but they’re not sending people to the moon or Mars. I don’t know how they reconcile a belief in Jesus with arms dealing but I’m pretty sure those dead Palestinian kids are paying for my nursing degree.
Anyway I unloaded the exact content of all those PTSD flashbacks on them, told them their voting choices were going to lead to them dying in a ditch full of maggots, then dumped all the shit my whole family talk behind each other’s backs in the groupchat and changed my phone number. Its been a year and I haven’t felt the need to drink since.
Love me? You don’t even like me. Die alone, assholes.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Those are the sort of parents I left in the past, I feel you with a lot of that.
As for the grandkids, feel free to use my excuse. “I can’t afford them”. (Partially because I have to support one of them, but also kids are freaking expensive). So they can whine about not having grandchildren all they want. Kids are now 800k+, who can do that?
Well they’ve said they would support me IF-
I just went ahead and told them it’s because they didn’t stop my cousins from doing weird sexual shit to me.
My mom is “choosing” to spend it at a retirement home because we can’t have her live with us and my brother is an asshole. And honestly, I’d rather have her spend her last years in comfort (we won’t even be in the same country) than get some windfall when she dies.
Retirement homes aren’t cheap. She’s in her early 80s, but both of her parents lived until their 90s, so I’m guessing there won’t be much of any inheritance left over.
My mother told my wife that if my father passes away first, she wants to go live in a home, not with us or my brothers (great, because I do not think her living with us would go very well). But of course the unspoken question was, “Is there money for that?” Given we just gave them money to fix their HVAC, I doubt it. So is the plan that my siblings and I are going to pay for it? It’d be nice to know so that we could plan…
And, of course, Medicare does not cover assisted living. My mom is not fabulously wealthy, but it sounds like she’ll have enough to make it. Good luck to your parents.
Also they will spend it on expensive overpriced healthcare they voted for.
Honestly, that and retirement homes sort of exist to extract the last wealth from the dying.
I mean, didn’t they do the exact same thing with the planet?
To be fair, the silent generation is not guilt free on that
Jokes on you, i grew up poor and never had an expectation of shit.
Read the body of my post
“Fuck you, I got mine.”
-Boomers on everything from pensions to affordable housing and education to inheritances to having a habitable planet to live on
The attitude you describe is, I believe, the result of capitalist and religious propaganda that reinforces individualism rather than collectivist and non-religious yet spiritual philosophies. Those like Hinduism, Confucianism, Zen and Toaism.
Not to sell any one in particular but the common thread in the East is a different perspective than a boss in the sky eternally judging each individual.
Even if you aren’t religious, advertising will tell you you’re a special, unique and seperate individual. Desiring to stand out as famous, beautiful, smart, funny, strong etc is just a trap but one desired by many. Unfortunately, to be above others, then others must be below you. To be rich, there must be poor.
An understanding of this force of balance shows that to minimise the extremes of poverty you must minimise the extremes of wealth.
The East sees our true self is the larger whole of which we as Humanity are a small part of. While your name may seperate you conceptually, none of us are separate from the air we breath or the stars we see. Nothing is seperate even though the mind feels and believes it is so. Are you really in control? Do you beat your heart? When you make a decision, do you first decide to decide?
I only say all this because, when one genuinely switches thinking this way, then naturally you want to be generous and caring towards all others because you see everything as yourself includeing all that is non human.
These philosophies are not the complete answer to our problems because many of these philosophies were born in China and, even though it’s embedded in their culture, they are still struggling like everyone else. But a more modern widespread common understanding of the true nature of the situation may be beneficial.
The people who are cool with this going “why shouldn’t my parents enjoy what they made, why would you want anything you didn’t work for?” are sort of missing the point. The real phrasing, that they probably would agree with, is “why should I support my children and future generations, my enjoyment is more important than their survival and secured future”
If you really think that you should only get what you work for, give back every Christmas or birthday present or any gift you’ve gotten or are getting in the future immediately. Turn down any bonus you get at work. Hell start paving your own roads.
Supporting others, especially family, is a good human trait, and shouldn’t be erroded.
I grew up in the boat of not ever expecting any type of inheritance. Then my dad remarried and it is a thing, and that discussion that makes me really uncomfortable. I am in the first camp. I don’t feel any sense of ownership or entitlement to that money.
She wants to go on a fancy trip to Bali? Good for her.
New car? Awesome.
He raised me, that was his responsibility. He did a great job and that’s all I needed.
I am sure there will be something left but I’m not hedging all of my bets on it. Work bonus stays with me, though.
I’m sorry if this is worded weirdly; my dad passed away two years ago and I am still getting used to the past tense.
I don’t think rejecting Christmas gifts is on par with telling your parents not to enjoy themselves because you want their money when they die.
I’m going to spend my money and wealth as I see fit. I will not raise my children to bank on me dying before they turn 60 (realistically they’re gonna have to deal with me for a long time) so they can inherit some sum of cash.
For context, I never expected any inheritance from either parent when they died. Neither did I get anything except for a pair of gloves.
I’m setting up my kids for their own success. 529 plan, lessons in work ethic and social skills. I donate often, and might leave some funds behind but real support shouldn’t have to be monetary.
