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There is a Christian bedtime story where I’m from. In the end it says something like “and you’ll wake up in the morning if god wants you to”. wtf what if god doesn’t want me to wake up tomorrow.
Then you don’t
The priest looks like Father Ted
Christian God doesn’t even come down to earth in the form of an animal to get you pregnant. You just wake up one morning with a bun in the oven. Dude should at least make it fun. Zeus and Posieden knew how to have a good time.
Zeus doesn’t even discriminate based on gender. He saw Ganymede, a cute mortal twink herder, and brought him to mt Olympus to be his femboy cup-bearer. Tried for ages to get him pregnant, but with no such luck.
Probably ought to be glad Zeus doesn’t exist either.
Good call. Everything is Zeus’s type.
…I think I’d rather be Zeus’s type than Yahweh’s…
UwU
Huh…I spent so much of my life concentrated on the fact that Mary was a lying slut who absolutely had sex with someone. Thus making Jesus not only NOT God’s child, but also by definition a bastard…that I never thought about the story from the perspective of it being true. If you take the story at face value, and God impregnated Mary in her sleep? That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.
In school I tried to bring up this theory that the three wise men all thought they were the father and came bearing gifts for that reason and mary was either lying or totally clueless/tricked. It wasn’t well received but nobody was able to refute it with relevant bile quotes or anything.
nobody was able to refute it with relevant bile quotes or anything.
Unclear if typo, or powerful statement.
A little from column A, a little from column B? ;-)
That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.
If we take the story at face value, he did get consent.
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”
- Luke 1:38
Man…dirty talk sure was different back then.
Actually an angel appeared and told Mary she was chosen. She said “aight bet.” So, technically consent.
Your boss shows up and says, “you’ve been chosen”. Say no and you’re fired…
Jesus was a bastard who was BFFs with a prozzie, did violence against the wealthy, and spurned authority. God might not listen to Slayer, but I reckon Jesus would have
Right? Jesus was a real one. Christianity should be metal AF.
Yep. Pretty fucked no matter which way you look at it…
Has anyone informed you of Sithrak the Blind Gibberer?
All hail the God Who Hates You Unconditionally 👌
“No worse than us, mind.”
I find this religion refreshingly honest and egalitarian. I might convert.
Oglaf is a fucking treasure
Jesus is still a bastard too.
Yeah I never heard of God getting married.
Considering Mary seems to be around 12-13 from the literature we have? You’ll age out of it, I guess? Cold comfort…
I never heard of this, but I feel no need to doubt it.
Wait WHAT?? Bruh what is going on with Christianity?
Is it really so surprising?
Yes
SLAYERRRR!!!
I honestly think that if a personal, knowable, and forgiving god exists as the god-botherers say they believe in, then he/she would get down with some Slayer and chuckle at the irony of listening to such music.
Why can’t a god have a sense of humor?
I like this comic but there’s one thing I can’t get past - why can’t this person draw noses???
Ever heard anything called art-styles???
