• exocrinous@startrek.website
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      9 months ago

      Yeah I hate it when I’m trying to enjoy myself at the park and there’s a bunch of birds screaming at the top of their lungs about sex.

    • Dimantina@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Who Men or Birds? I mean that applies to both. If we are doing this whole sweeping generalization thing.

      But seriously majority of Men aren’t jerks. Just a surprising number of men who go around hitting/trying to get laid all the time are.

      • Daxtron2@startrek.website
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        9 months ago

        Haha yeah it is applicable to both sometimes. And agreed, it’s the assholes that scream the loudest and make the normal people look bad.

        • root_beer@midwest.social
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          9 months ago

          My wife and I still laugh about this one time, when we were dating in college more than 20 years ago, we were rudely awakened by some pitiful sap wailing out his window, “anyone wanna hump? C’mon, anyone? Wanna hump?” He just sounded so despondent. No pity from me though.

    • tory@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      It’s just a cacophony of male birds literally shouting it over each other all day from sunrise to sunset.

      Nature is so beautiful 😍

  • Pennomi@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Okay but seriously giving shiny rocks to girls works pretty well. Not like jewelry or gemstones, literally just nice rocks.

    • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      Have you ever just sat and admired a well-tumbled stone? They’re pretty to look at.

      Bonus, if your person is the right type of crafty, they can turn those nice rocks into jewelry! I have a couple pieces my wife has made because they were just interesting stones she’s found she thought I’d like.

    • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Well I mean… Not exactly limited to girls. Who doesn’t like a nice shiny rock? Nobody, that’s who. Show me one person who claims to not have at least one good rock somewhere in their house. Can’t do it can yeh? Didn’t think so.

    • JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      One of my exes gave me a pebble, and said something about penguins giving a partner a pebble and they keep it for life. Pretty sure I lost it after a couple of weeks, and found a similar looking one and she never caught on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • root_beer@midwest.social
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      9 months ago

      My wife is big time into labradorite. It’s cool as hell, when it catches the light you can see gleams of blue or orange amongst the green. I actually recently got her a labradorite engagement ring and wedding band to replace the cheap, simple silicone ring she wears because of her job that she’ll be leaving in the near future.

    • Liz@midwest.social
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      9 months ago

      Ducks don’t even ask. They just rape. Most birds don’t have a penis, but ducks do. It’s for raping.

      • VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Which is fairly common in the animal kingdom. The reproductive organs of many animals are designed around this, with the females having vaginas mean to prevent it, and the males having penises meant to specifically copulate with those unique vaginas, often times having spines to give their specific offspring better odds or trigger ovulation despite the pain it causes.

        • Liz@midwest.social
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          9 months ago

          The reason human penises have a head on them is to rake out rival sperm. It’s the same reason why a man’s libido crashes hard after he orgasms, so he doesn’t rake out his own sperm.

          • VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Something tells me that didn’t work out as nature planned considering the amount of dudes who would be immediately grossed out at that prospect.

            • Liz@midwest.social
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              9 months ago

              I mean, selective pressure doesn’t have to be perfect to influence evolution, and factors that directly influence reproductive success have a high potency. You don’t have to know you’re getting sloppy seconds to gain an advantage from having a shovel-dick. If there’s little-to-no disadvantage, dudes with dicks that clean out vaginas will do better than those that don’t.

              A close-relative example: gorillas have tiny dicks and relatively weak sperm because there’s very little competition for mating. The silverback gets all the chicks and that’s that. There’s no competition inside the vagina, so they don’t have any tools that would help. Humans don’t have the same kind of iron trap on sexual pairing, so we have some amount of sexual warfare, so to speak.

              Somewhat related, but female chimps make sure to hook up with multiple males, so that none of them can be totally sure if the kid is theirs or not. A male looking to mate with a mother who knew the kid wasn’t his is liable to try and kill it, so promiscuity saves lives. When the ladies are looking to hook up with lower-ranking guys, they’re a bit sneaky about it too. Presumably the higher ranking guys wouldn’t be too happy about that.

              Anyway, nature be doing stuff.

    • SeabassDan@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      And they’re really just looking for good genes and not all the other stuff tied to what’s perceived as a successful human relationship.

        • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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          9 months ago

          I’ve never been married, so I have a lot of experience in the dating scene. Never once has a woman I barely knew sent me a picture of her vagina unsolicited and expected me to sleep with her immediately.

            • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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              9 months ago

              I’m sure those women exist. They’re rare enough that it barely ever comes up. On the other hand, every woman has a dick pic story. Usually several. How common does something have to be before it becomes fair to generalize? It seems like this is super common.

              • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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                9 months ago

                It’s easy. It just takes 1 out of 100 men to send their dick pic to 300 women for them to have received dick pics from several men.

                • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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                  9 months ago

                  You’re making blanket statements

                  No, I’m providing anecdotal evidence to support a hypothesis that the phonomenon is common enough that generalizing is fair

                  Please refer to my above comment on why you should avoid doing this.

                  Please stop pretending to be an authority. Your opinion is not law, this is a discussion between peers. Eat me.

  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Pssh, this is completely untrue. The last time I impaled a bunch of small people and animals on a giant thorn, I didn’t any attention. Well some, but the only from the police.

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        9 months ago

        There’s obvious limitations, but some birds make much better nests than others. The rufous hornero is probably the best bird in that category, they make nests out of clay.

    • JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      Pigeon nests are even shittier than that. They literally put some twigs down and call it a day. Honestly it’s a wonder how they even survive. Google for ‘pigeon nest’ for a good laugh, they’re just so terrible at it, like imagine a person giving bits of wood as a house.

  • Aceticon@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Well, when clubbing I’ve often seen guys use the same mating strategy as street pidgeons.

  • IninewCrow
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    9 months ago

    I’d be a Canada Goose

    Hey baby wanna … HOOOOOONNNKKKK!!! …

  • Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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    9 months ago

    I’ve only properly been a woman for like, 5 years now, but I’ve honestly only had one dude ever attempt the fourth panel. Most dudes who try to flirt with me do it by talking about their interests and relentlessly complimenting me every time I know something about it or have something to add. That said, it does work on me.

      • LazyPhilosopher@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Eh I hate small talk. I’d much rather someone made me a diy gift. Doesn’t haven’t to be big but the time spent on it would communicate alot of affection to me 🤷

        • Liz@midwest.social
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          9 months ago

          You say that, but it would only be charming from someone you’ve already been flirting with. The whole point of flirting is testing the waters with some amount of deniability so that it’s low-pressure on all sides. You keep toeing the line back and forth until you’re both really sure you’re super into each other. A DIY gift as a token of affection is a jump from the high dive, and goes a lot better when you’ve checked the pool is full.

          • LazyPhilosopher@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            If you don’t continue to flirt with your partner after you’re already together I feel sad for them. You should continue to flirt stranger. I would agree though, don’t buy a house for someone you don’t know lol. But here’s a better example for you those girl. I’m talking to you off dating app. You told me her favorite animal is a flying wolf. That’s kind of silly. 3D printed one. I’ll bring it to our date next week. If you think I’m not getting extra brownie points for that, you’re silly.

            • Liz@midwest.social
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              9 months ago

              For sure for sure. Context matters. I’m currently making a patch for my girl. But, you know, I’m super sure she’s into me, for a whole pile of reasons. :P

        • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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          9 months ago

          Sounds like that would make it harder to meet people but easier to know when you’ve found a compatible match

    • Shou@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Hell nah. If we flirted like birds of paradise, it would be a very one sided relationship.