The third most unbelievable part is where anyone would answer the door for door to door sales anymore
I’d be curious to know what they wanted. It’s so rare that someone knocks on my door. Last time it was the police.
What were they selling?
Spicy water and electro therapy.
Oh? Did you get charged for that?
No they just gave it to me, they were very eager though. Kept telling me to stop resisting so I assume they were just really proud of what they had to deliver.
For measly sum of “shut the fuck up” we could buy “don’t get dragged to the station”.
We had been drinking and a bit noicy. Though honestly they were pretty nice about it.
I’m part of that second group for sure. Especially if he’s hot. Black hair with that one grey streak. Hnng.
what about:
Fashion taste impeccable but hairstyling forgettable. Pass.
Early 1990s Gary Oldman FTW! That character was VERY 1990s.
I keep forgetting how many movies he was in just because of how well he melts into the role
So whats his number?
One.
Being a vampire wouldn’t be so bad.
I honestly don’t understand the downsides of it.
You don’t even have to see yourself in a mirror, and I’m extremely pale and already burn in sunlight.
I’d get superpowers and require drinking blood? I’m sure I could figure out something.
If I have to find something, it’s the long term psychological effects. You don’t care about your former love as much as a symbol of that love, like a locket. Vampire homes are presented as formally being fancy, but have fallen into disrepair, thus matching their mental state.
But I still want to be Laszlo Cravensworth. I’m here to drink and fuck for eternity.
I liked stories where the vampires are productive like engineers or world class sculptures. Imagine being immortal and staying on bed all the time so dumb.
Many vampire myths come with some assumption that you are innately evil, from being a vessel for satan to having genuine impulses for more than just blood but cruelty and malice.
I like this take on the the vampire. To become one, you are dying, your soul moves on. A malevolent spirit then resides in your body with full access to you memories and the capability to masquerade as you in personality, but crucially, they are not the same person as they were when they were alive.
The vampire myth where you retain your soul and basically are just a superhero with stipulations basically exists for people to have the power fantasy of being one.
I would hate needing to go out and hunt for food every day. Prepared and packaged food, frozen dinners, and fast food exist for a reason.
How much blood does a vampire really have to eat in what period of time? Will other mammalian blood suffice? Because a whole cow, a vacuum sealer and a deep freezer could last a while. It’s vampire meal prep!
Is this vampire lawful good? Or lawful evil?
Well if you were playing a vampire in 5e, the default alignment is Lawful Evil
That’s also the default alignment for cops
Disagree, as most have no respect for the law.
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Laughing way too fucking hard at this…
But, strangely enough, not sheriff’s deputies. CE, the whole lot.
Well, they’re a cop, so definitely not good.
Slowing this 10% to get Drunk Frakes is one of my favorite things:
I didn’t realize how much I needed that laugh
That legitimately made me laugh out loud!
I think the idea is that the homeowner, the person who lives in the house, has to invite the vampire in. So just because a judge grants a vampire cop a warrant, doesn’t mean he could actually enter your home if you didn’t still give him permission to enter (assuming they’d actually be limited by that requirement in the first place). If vampires actually existed in real life, I think we could probably throw out most of what Bram Stoker wrote in Dracula or alot of the other folk myths.
And I feel like Deep Vampire Magic wouldn’t give a shit what a piece of paper says, be it a landlord or bank owning the property.
Person who lives in the house has to invite them in.
Does squatters count?
What if the homeowner isn’t there? Can the renter let the vampire in? What if it’s a babysitter or a housesitter?
The part about being a vampire that nobody tells you about is all the red tape
It would definitely kill your dog.
I guess if it comes down to if a vampire can go over the head of a homeowner to the bank or the goverment
Vampire magic doesn’t care about human papers.
Vampire magic only cares about who occupies the home.
I’d argue the banks are the actual homeowners anyway
Try not paying property taxes and see who owns it.
So tenants are fucked, as are short term guests.
The reason why vampires need permission to enter your house is because it is playing on the fear of the stranger. The fear that a random person who knocks on your door is a predator.
Based on that foundation, I think that the cop version would be that someone has to invite the cop. Instead of playing on the fear of the stranger, it is the fear of the unhinged police officer. If someone calls the police, then they are invited.
Not always
This is great. I could definitely imagine some YouTube channel breaking this down in a 30 min video. And I’d watch the whole thing.
We need a LegalEagle video on this question!
Or what if you’re renting, and your landlord is a vampire
they can enter 24 hours after giving notice
I don’t think Forever Knight ever brought up the “needs to be invited” rule.
Answer depends more on whether or not the Vampire sparkles in the light of the UV lamp outside my apartment door.
Pretty easy to detect that with even crap tier webcams, they’ll oversaturate glitch or white out.
Then its just a matter of some OpenCV code noticing the sparkles, then dumping the hidden container of holy water on the ceiling on them, and answering the door with a shotgun loaded with an oaken slug.
Next call up John Constantine and see if he knows any rival vampires that have some kind death mark on this particular vampire, or if any of them need a blood meal.
Now you probably have cred with some other vampires so further visits from further vampire cops will at the very least be even more interesting.
I hate these new fangled vampires these days just sparkle instead of burn
I feel like OP is also a fan of my man Bobby Dukes
I’m sorry to say but I’ve got no idea who that is :(
I just saw a video that touched on this. YouTuber Steve Lehto, a lawyer in Michigan. I think the case came maybe from Wisconsin but a judge ruled that cops could enter and search a home based on nonverbal gestures. If you want to know more check it out since I don’t think I can give all the details correctly from memory. What’s funny is I saw things about treating cops like vampires in the comments. They really should need an explicit invitation (or a warrant) to come in.
