Does no one at NBC realise how bad this makes them look? I don’t even game and even I know what Among Us is and how desperate this piece comes across.

BREAKING: CEO killer and murderer found to have eaten pork belonging to a pig named Cindy. Cindy was killed for him to consume Cindy’s meat in a violent and seditious manner. NY District Attorney now charging him with the murder of the pig, along with the murder of Cindy.

God, imagine a world where Amung Us has even a slight chance of turning you into a class war assassin. Given how many people played that at it’s peak, we’d be seeing CEOs dropping like flies. There’d be a few dozen per day.

Why can’t video games actually radicalize the way Boomer media believes it does?

This was a game that got a huge boost in popularity in 2020 thanks to the COVID-19 lockdown.

In the movie Glass Onion (which takes place during the lockdown) Benoit Blanc is introduced playing Among Us while taking a bath (implied for a very long time). Two of Blanc’s opponents are Angela Lansbury / Jessica Fletcher and Stephen Sondheim

Technically, Among Us the killer isn’t a human assassin but a creature like the eponynous thing in John Carpenter’s The Thing. The game features a tongue attack that no human (known) can do.

Personally, I was turned onto Among Us by my grandson who loved the game, and it was a way to bond. I went by Wargraves and nobody ever got the reference. It was a little wierd thay most of the players were grade-schoolers who had a tendency to assume everyone else was also their age. After all, I’m wearing the top hat and am named after an Agatha Christie character.

How SUSSY

ඞඞඞඞඞ

This typa content is gonna put the Onion out of business again

This just in… Putin used to play the card game “War” when he was in middle school!

I’m so fucking tired of the NYPD not having a viable strategy to stop venting

The feds tried to hire Detective Fruit but Mr. Fruit declined stating that United Healthcare was “acting kinda sus”.

I will repeat: the guy is a hero for standing up for democracy and the reduction of greed.

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sus

Amogus.

Nintendo games bad.

If I know anything about among us it is that it’s very pro corporate and anti-violence. No one and I repeat no one who played that game could have killed anybody. The police have the wrong guy. It just doesn’t match his character. The jury must find him innocent. If you are terminally online like me and you live in Pennsylvania or new york I implore you to tell your less online ‘normie’ friends and associates about this. If they are brought upon the jury they must know about how unlikely this makes as a suspect.

On unrelated note, jury nullification an interesting quirk of the US justice system. I think they will find it quite fascinating to research. Let them know about because they would probably find it very interesting. Spread the word guys.