But think how safe you would be if you did pack a bomb.
The odds of there being one bomb on a plane are tiny enough, but the odds of there being two bombs on a plane are vanishingly small…
The only way to stop a bad guy with a bomb…
You really need to pack one bomb for each family member really. Kid’s bombs just help lower the odds to virtually zero.
The easiest way to avoid this is to make sure you always pack a bomb on purpose.
“The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low, and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.”
personally, I like to make their day interesting by wearing a shirt that says, “I am the bomb!”
Have you tried a shirt with, “You’re the bomb!” on it?
Not. yet.
*Don’t say ‘bomb’. Don’t accidentally say ‘bomb’. Don’t say ‘bomb’.
“Hey, I didn’t bring a bomb! DOH!”
“did you pack this bag yourself?”
“Yes?”
“Then why is there a tactical nuclear warhead in the left pocket?”
“Ah shucks”It’s 26 to 32 kg so it’s its own piece of luggage https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/W54#/media/File%3ASADM_carry_bag.jpg
I always get concerned that somehow I have packed hard drugs (I don’t do hard drugs.)
For my next trick, I shall pull a condom full of coke out of your ass. I assure you we did not plant it ahead of time.
If you’re traveling somewhere with extremely restrictive drug laws (e.g. Singapore), you can be sentenced to prison for drug particles on your shoes. i.e. you can accidentally have forbidden substances on you.
Do they test everyone’s shoes or do you just have to be extremely unlucky?
I’d assume they’re just doing the rounds with drug sniffer dogs. Those dogs have crazy sensitivity.
Drug dogs have an average success rate of about 44%.
If they’re sniffing around a Latino that rate drops to 27%.
They can sort of smell drugs, sometimes, but more often than not they are simply a tool that manufactures probable cause.
That’s too bad, so much that happens in World War Z (book) depends on dogs being able to smell sus shit out
It’s not that they " can sort of smell drugs", they are extremely sensitive to any trace smell of drug. Your linked article confirms that:
Dog-handling officers and trainers argue the canine teams’ accuracy shouldn’t be measured in the number of alerts that turn up drugs. They said the scent of drugs or paraphernalia can linger in a car after drugs are used or sold, and the dogs’ noses are so sensitive they can pick up residue from drugs that can no longer be found in a car.
Search so thoroughly that you would even find the tiniest crumbs left on someone’s shoe sole and that 44% “success” rate would probaby jump up considerably.
Though the false positives that are mentioned in the article are also an issue, but probably less so if you’re regularly doing the rounds at airport waiting queues.
I have the reverse thing, after the check I’m like “I got away with it once again!”, while packing absolutely nothing wrong.
Me on my steamdeck at an airport: “okay, this game doesn’t talk about bombs or guns, right?”
I’m sure counter strike would be a decent option
“no russian”
More like “I sure hope I didn’t pack a bottle of water by accident” (or any other liquit in a container of more than 100ml).
Me when someone is looking through my phone
sure hope they don’t see all the weird sex I’ve been having with their daughters
Or just be non-white. Then you will know you are going to be selected for a special screening.
I got tired of worrying about whether or not I packed a bomb and would be caught so I decided to just do so and get it over with.
In reality I just grabbed a 2 pound brick of scrapple wrapped it in wires that I soldered to a watch and stuck it in the middle of my backpack.
Got to enjoy my scrapple on the other side and felt far more confident about my future in scrapple smuggling.
Mine is a knife, reach in to entry pockets at TSA baggage xray, a moment where I’m afraid I’ll pull out a giant knife
I carry a pocket knife everywhere, so this one is a legit concern for me. It is as natural as putting on my clothes for me to put my knife in my pocket, so I’m always concerned that I accidentally put my knife in my pocket, despite being very intentional about leaving it behind. I paid $280 for the thing, so it would be a damned shame to lose it to stupid-ass TSA.
Pack some prepaid package envelopes with your home as the destination. TSA got a problem with your nail clipper? Leave your favorite knife in your pocket by accident? Put it in the envelope and drop it in any USPS box.
That’s a great idea! Do they have mailboxes at the airport?
Depends on the airport, but usually yes.
There is no need to pack a bomb for a flight. Just buy the parts and ingredients you need to build one in the duty-free shop after the TSA security theater.
Do they sell electrical switches, or lighters back there, or am I supposed to rub two sticks together to ignite it?
You do not need any of this. You should know some chemistry and physics, but you can get everything you need to make a bang.
Are you serious that there are chemical combinations for sell behind the security checkpoint that’ll make a large explosion?
Absolutely. And all the tooling you need is a simple nail clipper. Which you can usually get at the duty free, too.
It’s there, it’s simple, it’s just applied science.
They obviously do not.
Or a knife
I knew someone that unintentionally carried a switchblade in their carry-on bag to NYC, discovered that it was in their bag when they were unpacking at the hotel, and then intentionally carried it back home to Chicago in their same carry-on. Both times it passed through an x-ray machine without comment.
This shit is all security theater. Look up how often Red Teams get guns, ammunition, and simulated explosive devices past TSA; you’ll be unpleasantly surprised.
The real thing–as opposed to satire–is alarming enough. The essential problem is that you simply can’t maintain a constant level of vigilance.
Or nail trimmers or a tennis ball
You’re not allowed to bring nail trimmers? I did…
So according to the TSA website you are allowed to bring nail clippers in your carry-on and check-in but they always have some bullshit text that say it is up to the agent.
I have been told by the TSA agents they only really ever take it if it has a pointed file on it, as those can be made into disguised knives. This is why you see much fewer of them on clippers these days.
Or weed
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