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ickplant@lemmy.worldM to Animals with Jobs@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago

The Transporter: turtle found by U.S. Coast Guard with $53 million worth of cocaine attached to it

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The Transporter: turtle found by U.S. Coast Guard with $53 million worth of cocaine attached to it

lemmy.world

ickplant@lemmy.worldM to Animals with Jobs@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year ago
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  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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    1 year ago

    That is so much money to entrust to one turtle

    • Steve@startrek.website
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      1 year ago

      Its not money until the turtle finds a way to fence it

      • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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        1 year ago

        Where I’m from cocaine is the same, if not better, than money.

        • Agent641@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Vending machines wont take my cocaine

          • nomous@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            With cocaine you can easily obtain multiple vending machines of your own.

            • weker01@feddit.de
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              1 year ago

              Cocaine can be exchanged for goods and vending machines.

              • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                and turtles

  • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    These Cocaine Bear sequels are getting weird.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Unlike the original, of course.

      • dave@hal9000@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yes, a cinematic masterpiece soon to be on the criterion collection!

        • WamGams
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          1 year ago

          Cut out the feel good “not without my daughter” parts of the story and it was actually pretty good.

          Scratch that, take out the plot but keep all the kills, add a few more in and the film would have been a solid 8/10.

          • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Something tells me that your favorite movie is either The English Patient or The Constant Gardener.

            Definitely something starring Ralph Fiennes!

            • WamGams
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              1 year ago

              No.

          • dave@hal9000@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Well I guess I have to watch it now

    • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Cocaine Orca gonna slap tho

  • ickplant@lemmy.worldOPM
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    1 year ago

    Source for the pic and story

    • lad@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      Oh, so the turtle was unemployed, after all

      Good to hear she didn’t turn to the path of crime

      • ericbomb@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        No no no.

        The turtle is employed; they work for the cops.

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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        1 year ago

        That is what the turtle wants you to think

    • troglodytis@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The Coast Guard sure has some funky math.

      seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million

      But this 1800 lbs is worth $53mil?

      They’re just making up these numbers

      • ickplant@lemmy.worldOPM
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        1 year ago

        Of course they are. The whole war on drugs is made up.

      • Steve@startrek.website
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        1 year ago

        Per usual

      • lad@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        That’s just a maritime ton

      • nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        it’s worth nothing until you realize the gains

  • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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    1 year ago

    $48 Million worth of Cocaine was found strapped to a turtle? Incredible.

    • spaceguy5234@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Crazy they found $40 million worth of cocaine on this turtle. Where could it have gotten the $35 million of cocaine from?

      • misc@lemmy.sdf.org
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        1 year ago

        Crazy someone would attach 30 million worth of cocaine to a turtle.

        • Acters@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I’m sure there will be an astute amount of investigation on the 20 million worth of cociane floating with the turtle

          • misc@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            Yep gotta know where the 15 million worth of cocaine came from .

            • Threeme2189@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              $10 million worth of cocaine?

              Get out a here with that nonsense!

              • misc@lemmy.sdf.org
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                1 year ago

                I know in drug world that is not big but still busting the source of that 5 million worth of cocaine would still be a big leap .

  • Nastybutler@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The cutter Thetis is part of Operation Martillo — an international effort launched in 2012 to target drug trafficking routes along the Central American coast.

    In its most recent patrol, the operation seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million, according to a release by the Coast Guard.

    And the War on Drugs™ continues its neverending game of Whack-a-mole®

    • lordmauve@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      *Whack-a-turtle

      FTFY

    • Liz@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      I don’t mind Whack-A-Mole at the distributor level.

  • Dasus@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I bet the turtle approached them thinking they’re possible mates.

    Size and shape roughly fit.

    They’re not too picky about what they hump.

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I didn’t know Mitch McConnell was running errands for Trump Jr!

  • EpeeGnome@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    From now on, we need to refer to all water traveling drug smugglers as drug turtles instead of drug mules.

    • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      La Tortuga de drogas

      • No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Drogtuga.

  • aviationeast@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Did I ever tell you the time we found a turtle with $50 million worth of cocaine attached to it?

    • synae[he/him]@lemmy.sdf.org
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      1 year ago

      Wow, how did the turtle get that $45 million of coke?

      • Seleni@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Not sure, but we gave the $40 million worth of cocane to the FDA.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    1 year ago

    Next time, give the turt a couple bumps off the coke so it can outrun the cops.

  • Klicnik@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    The turtle has been found guilty, and sentencing will take place in September.

    • Gork@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      These mandatory minimum sentences are getting out of hand.

  • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Turtle power.

    • body_by_make@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      Turtle powder

  • ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    animalsthatgotfiredfromtheirjobs

  • pseudo@jlai.lu
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    1 year ago

    The DEA turtle !

  • Retrograde@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    You all jest - and fair enough… but dude… this just makes me so sad :( that poor turt didn’t sign up for this shit

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