Heard a guy respond to another guy calling him a motherfucker with ‘yeah, but your mom didn’t complain much’, so it got me thinking. What are your best comebacks for the common insults you hear from time to time?

  • 667@lemmy.radioEnglish
    942·
    6 months ago

    One I’ve heard: a guy was giving another guy some shit for drinking a “girly drink”, saying “real men don’t drink those”.

    The guy instantly responded, “Real men drink whatever the fuck they want.”

            • WindyRebel@lemmy.world
              5·
              6 months ago

              Lassie, in response to the bestiality rumors circulating about you, I have decided to forgo calling you by the usual girl’s name, and instead I am going to refer to you as whatever famous dog I can think of. I have gone with Lassie because of course it satisfies the criteria of being both a girl’s and a dog’s name, thus helping you to ease into the transition

          • mynachmadarch@kbin.social
            2·
            6 months ago

            Oh man, I haven’t had one of those in a hot minute. Guess I know what I’m sipping during the HCS grand finals on Sunday.

          • mynachmadarch@kbin.social
            3·
            6 months ago

            All the raspberry beers I’ve had are regular beer coloured honestly, but Rose absolutely gives the right effect.

        • cybervseas@lemmy.worldEnglish
          5·
          6 months ago

          For girl colored drinks, a Pink Lady is an incredible cocktail for all genders to enjoy, and one I’d recommend if your bartender can actually make it. Best when a bar makes their own grenadine, too.

    • Jourei@lemm.eeEnglish
      5·
      6 months ago

      Absolutely! What is more manly than being independent and not giving a damn about what others think!

  • Admiral Patrick@dubvee.orgEnglish
    64·
    6 months ago

    If it’s someone random, and I haven’t said anything to them at all, I’ll usually put on a confused face and sign “What?” in ASL. Really takes the piss out of them. The hardest part is keeping a straight face when they try to repeat the insult but louder.

    It’s also my go-to power move when I’m in a long line or waiting room and someone tries to get chatty. Seriously, if you have the opportunity to take some ASL classes, you definitely should.

  • mynachmadarch@kbin.social
    452·
    6 months ago

    I pull out the “I’m rubber, you’re glue”. Nobody expects it these days, either that or “Would Mister Rogers approve of your actions?” I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t at least pause at that.

    I can’t pull it off, but “I’m thinking you weren’t burdened with an over-abundance of schooling.” From Firefly is killer

  • beerclue@lemmy.world
    28·
    6 months ago

    “Well, I guess you’re no longer invited to my birthday party.”

    Said to a random person, it confuses the hell out of them.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.netEnglish
    26·
    6 months ago

    If someone calls you a pussy, the best response is “you are what you eat, dick.”

    The best comeback to an insult in general is:

    “Who is this clown?”

    Because it not only calls them a clown, but it infers they aren’t even popular enough to be a well-known clown.

  • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
    154·
    6 months ago

    No one insults me, so these aren’t field tested.

    “Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called and they’re running out of you.”

    “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

    “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

    “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”