Lemmy.ca
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 1 year ago

A moment of brilliance

lemmy.world

message-square
60
link
fedilink
1K

A moment of brilliance

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 1 year ago
message-square
60
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • otp@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    95
    ·
    1 year ago

    I think bagels are boiled, then baked. Cooked twice.

    Then we toast them to cook them a third time.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      And if we’re from the Midwest and at a fair, cook them a fourth time by deep frying them.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        1 year ago

        That might make me consider actually going to the state fair instead of bitching about it making traffic terrible by bringing a ton of people into the middle of the city

        • 93maddie94@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          We went this fall like we have for the past few years but even the lemonades were $10-15 so I don’t think we’ll be returning.

          • nomous@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            Our state fair is in some little ass town in the middle of nowhere. I’ve always wanted to make the 3 hour drive, just never gotten around to it, $15 lemonades don’t sound very encouraging.

      • affiliate@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        what would cooking them for a fifth time look like. is it even possible?

        • fine_sandy_bottom@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 year ago

          boil > bake > grill > fry > microwave

          • Dicska@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            1 year ago

            “Just fucking kill me already”

        • nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          Probably something like Cuil theory

        • Dicska@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          Like some hardcore JPEG re-compression

        • Klear@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Nobody knows…

        • littleblue✨@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Hold mah beer. I gotchu.

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    96
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I was making toast once at work.

    A particularly baffling coworker saw this and went “oh you like toast do you? I had an uncle who liked toast”

    I’m not sure if he just didn’t like to leave good silence alone, or if he had a bizarre family where nobody else liked toast except for Mad Uncle Toast Eater, who presumably died from his crippling toast addiction.

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      27
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I hope you didn’t respond to him, to make him uncomfortable with the silence again.

      • maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        Maybe that silence is his Toast though. The more you have, the more you want.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      1 year ago

      fucking incredible sentence though. what a legend.

    • graymess@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      1 year ago

      Elder Scrolls NPC type conversation.

  • IninewCrow
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I think it has more to do with wanting the bread warm in any way … so that you can melt butter on top of it. Nothing like fresh baked bread and melting butter over it. The next best thing is to take cold bread, toast it and melt butter over it.

    I grew up poor and I remember being a kid and craving melted butter on warm toast but we seldom had any … so we often opted to using just lard instead. Same sensation but the taste wasn’t as good.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Nonsense!

      • IninewCrow
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        1 year ago

        Hey! … I’m OK! … Me and my arthritic body, I’m OK!

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I hope you’re aware of The Heart Attack Grill. Amazing fries cooked in lard. All you can eat fry bar. The burgers are pretty good too.

        When I went they stopped at a quadruple burger. This thing is insane.

        https://youtu.be/Kb4dUaE3yaM?si=mc208gkPR38mQgMd

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          I am, but unfortunately they don’t seem to exist on my side of the Atlantic 🤷

          • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            Fly out to California for a “business conference,” and stop at the one in Vegas :)

            • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              I’ll be sure to bring all my important business papers

              • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                I was expecting Vincent not Lebowski

    • Kiosade
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’ll do you one better… toast the bread, add the butter, then when that’s all melted into place, sprinkle cinnamon over it. Fucking amazing.

      • Shyfer@ttrpg.network
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Ooh I’m excited to try this. Going to do this next time I want a slight snack.

    • John_McMurray@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Probably, as the original toasters only did one side, and that was intentional.

  • GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    1 year ago

    I wouldn’t be surprised if originally it was something you did to rescue stale bread. Can’t waste any good food when it’s scarce, you know?

    • howrar
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 year ago

      I still use it to rescue state bread. Either that, or if I need a harder/warmer surface to spread things on.

      • littleblue✨@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        Y’all gonna want summa this guh’mint cheese for that state bread, too, ya know.

    • MBM@lemmings.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      People toast fresh bread? Why, fresh bread is good as-is.

      • GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        I mean, if it’s fresh from a bakery - sure, but “factory-fresh”? I think toasted is definitely an improvement.

    • maculata@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Of course it was that.

      Fresh bread has the glutens all loose and digestible. When the bread goes stale the glutens have tightened up again and become less nutritionally available. Toasting loosens the proteins up again and makes it all nicey-nicey for de tummy.

      Sorry for the niche technical language at the end.

  • dingus182@endlesstalk.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    1 year ago

    For the love of Crust.

    • TotallyNotSpez@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      1 year ago

      In crust we trust, amen!

  • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    1 year ago

    Watch the shock on OP’s face when they learn of bis-cuit.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Do you mean crunchy cookies, or savory butter scones?

      • nomous@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        EITHER ONE!

  • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Maillard, there is a special place in paradise for you.

    • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      Maillard Place would be a funny name for a mansion.

  • AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    1 year ago

    YEAH TOAST!

  • TooManyFoods@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    1 year ago

    Now french it

  • SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    1 year ago

    Knowing humanity, it involves either a dare, laziness, desperation, an accident or pigheaded stuberness, and usually a combination of those.

    • andxz@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Perhaps someone smoked some smelly herbs and the only available thing to eat afterwards happened to be stale bread and butter.

      I guess that’d technically qualify as an accident. A happy accident, if you will.

    • MonkderZweite@feddit.ch
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    John Toast invented toast in 1439 when he tried to cook bread twice.

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don’t enough about the ways of toast to dispute this. But I kind of love that there was a guy named John Toast that went around cooking shit twice until something stuck.

  • AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    1 year ago

    Sourdough is good. Toasted sourdough is bread’s best life.

    • Landless2029@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I love sourdough because it doesn’t even need butter!

  • HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    Maillard reaction is pretty awesome

  • John_McMurray@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    What’s even better, spread mayo on both sides and fry it on a flat top.

    • nomous@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don’t even like mayo but this is the correct way to make a grilled cheese. The mayo is just oil and makes the bread really nice and light and crispy.

      • John_McMurray@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        And yet, why I dint exactly know, miracle whip doesn’t work nearly as well

  • Gabu@lemmy.worldBanned
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    A brilliant confluence of skill and purpose!

Funny@sh.itjust.works

funny@sh.itjust.works

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don’t post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 1.29K users / day
  • 4.46K users / week
  • 9.04K users / month
  • 16.7K users / 6 months
  • 237 local subscribers
  • 9.67K subscribers
  • 1.68K Posts
  • 30.7K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • TheDude@sh.itjust.works
  • kersploosh@sh.itjust.works
  • example@reddthat.com
  • VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.works
  • UI: 0.19.11
  • BE: 0.19.11-n.1
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org