Its a mess, for sure. This is a good first step, but in general children are wildly expensive, and the current model of raising children has increased the expectations for what is required of parents, while not actually changing (and in many cases reducing or removing) the resources they have at their disposal to do that.

The only thing you can really do is wait out the first few years until the kids are in school, and hope one or both of you haven’t fallen too far behind in experience to make up for it. It’s one of the reasons multi-generational houses have, historically, been a thing. In the last 50-100 years we’ve entered an age where it’s become normalized to live alone, but I think as pressures increase and little is done to improve them, these kinds of concessions will be ones people will have to be making more often. I’m not suggesting you do that - I know nothing about your situation. I’m agreeing that the life that many people had when they were children is not likely to be the life that many of their children will get to experience.