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Plus the plans only got to the rebellion after Vader personally failed to stop a piece of physical media from escaping the airlock where he was slaughtering rebels. This happened despite him having telekinetic powers, because he chose to use them on rebel soldiers and not the obviously valuable item they were clearly trying to smuggle out at the cost of their own lives.
And it just so happens that the ship those plans got onto was his daughter’s ship. And when he “captured” her, she just happened to choose his old astromech droid and the protocol droid that he built as a kid to carry the plans off. And those droids got out in an escape pod that just slipped past a fully armed star destroyer because obviously there couldn’t be anything valuable slipping past that might warrant firing up one of their many lasers or tractor beams.
And the planet they were over? Tatooine, the ass end of nowhere, a wasteland ruled by the Hutts which has no rebel presence whatsoever, but which just happens to be Vader’s home planet. And those droids, who could have landed anywhere on that entire planet, by sheer coincidence, land right by the farm where Vader’s step brother is looking after his son. And those droids take the son and the plans to Vader’s best friend and teacher, who has not been part of the rebel alliance, and couldn’t possibly know of a secure place to pass them along.
From there, a disgraced former imperial officer with a lot of debts to pay agrees to take the group to the planet that happens to be where the death star is waiting. This happens only after the former imperial carries out the murder of a childhood associate of Vader. And they only manage to escape because the troopers who have them outnumbered and outgunned yell a warning and fire wildly, completely negating the element of surprise.
And don’t even get me started on the death star escape or the battle of Yavin. There’s just too much. How does a moon-sized planet-killing space station not have enough fighters to overwhelm a dozen x-wings and y-wings? How does a transport get the drop on an ace fighter pilot with functioning sensors, wing men, an entire goddamn space station backing him up, and oh yeah, FREAKING PSYCHIC POWERS?!
By the way, that transport? Previously registered to the man who handed control of Bespin to Vader. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. I mean, it’s not like he blew up a death star or anything… oh wait!
I guess the video games probably aren’t canon, but I think it was The Force Unleashed that “revealed” that Vader intentionally planted the seeds of the Rebellion to create an opportunity to overthrow Palpatine, which makes all the times he or his troopers “fail” to stop the heroes make more sense.
Space Contractor: “I was hired to help as a roofer for the death star, but since I know their politics I turned it down; too dangerous. I turned the job over to a colleague of mine. A week later, rebel forces blew the whole thing up. He hadn’t even finished shingling! I’m alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn’t so lucky.”
If you were roofing the Death Star how far down would you go?
It’s a sphere in space where there is no set up or down; so all the way.
About 80,000km²
I was actually on that team, I was out getting caulking when the whole thing blew up, The first one was unbelievable but when a plain hit the second Death Star, I was stunned, what kind of terrorists would fly a plain into the Death Star? The whole job was a shit show anyway, we got halfway done and he suddenly decided he wanted metal roofing but obviously he didn’t want to pay extra but the guy is golfing buddies with the higher ups so we couldn’t say anything.
The CollegeHumor skit this image is from is one of my all-time favorites. It was the first time I laughed my ass off regarding 9/11.
College Humor skit iirc.
Oh man, I haven’t though about College Humor in 20 years.
We fucking need a Star Wars Alex Jones insisting that Alderaan was not destroyed but it was faked, and the empire wanted to blame it on the rebellion (who are both good and evil depending on if he had a large chili bowl that day).
… and a giant military installation the size of an entire moon complete with hundreds of cannons, shields, armour and even carrying entire fleets of fighter craft … and all it took to bring it down was an ‘exhaust port’? … like a one in a bajillion chance of firing a torpedo in the right hole in the right place at the right time was enough to blow up the entire station?
Why are storm troopers drinking milk
How are they drinking blue milk?
Its blue because it comes from blueberry cows
I’m not sure how they drink it with a helmet on
I can’t really start my day without a nice cuppa of bacta as well
So Star Wars was really pro-empire propaganda the whole time!
