Just discovered Lemmy while browsing for Reddit alternatives, so let’s break the ice with this first post.
What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? My dad is 75 and I love listening to him talk about seeing bands like the Dave Clark Five, Crosby Stills and Nash, and The Lovin’ Spoonful.
What advice would you give women in perimenopause? (Night sweats are killing me, send help!)
What’s your favorite memory?
Come check out [email protected] (you don’t need to be a man to post)
What’s the most recent thing that made you laugh? Why your username? Also, do you think wisdom can be taught (vs. making the mistakes ourselves)?
What do you think of feminism?
I’ve always supported women’s rights, but I don’t consider myself a feminist. First and foremost, I can’t support an ideology that considers women inherent victims (victims of the “patriarchy”). As a woman, I reject that notion and premise. If you put feminist principles and victim mentality characteristics side by side - they basically become a circle. I just don’t find that a healthy mindset to have - I even find it a bit insulting honestly. Secondly, I don’t support demonizing an entire gender (men). Thirdly, most of the feminists I’ve personally interacted with have been nothing but condescending, judgmental or straight up hostile because I chose to get married young, not pursue a career and focus on house and family, letting my husband lead, etc. when I have never been anything but supportive of career women, the stereotypical modern woman archetype, etc. I also don’t appreciate being made into some sort of victim by them because of the lifestyle I chose to lead. To me feminism is a militant group. I’ve also noticed that in the last years feminists have started to adhere to a lot of right wing positions (anti-trans people, anti-sex work, sex negative, anti-pornography, etc.). Modern feminists tend to see women as a monolith, if you deviate from what they believe is right - you’re the wrong kind of woman: which ironically enough is also what the anti-women crowd believe: I guess it’s true what they say, if you go too left you’ll only end up right and vice versa…
How does it feel to be 72?
Do you think life is easier for kids now versus when you were born? Why or why not?
What were the 1980s like compared to the 1970s? Unrelated to my last question, of all the decades you have experienced, which decade was the best/peak decade overall, in your opinion (and a little about why)?
The 1980s in my eyes was a stable, distinct decade but cynical and kind of drifting back in terms of society (the start of the war on counterculture, the hippies had cut off their hair, were born again Christians and advocating against drugs now). On the other hand the 1970s felt like a continuation of the 1960s - counterculture, chaotic, felt like we were headed to greener pastures. 1990s was in my opinion the peak of modern US and the last great American decade. End of the Cold War (the fear of nuclear war was real), the dawn of global technology, kept the good parts of the 1980s while getting rid or improving the bad parts. It all ended with 9/11. That was a societal shift that we never recovered from.
I’m 20-years younger but felt the exact same about those decades! The 90s was indeed the peak and 9/11 beginning of the end.
Lots of millennials & outside of the US feel the same. Especially seeing the effects of modern tech on societies too I yearn for simpler times. It’s sad because you’d think they’d solve so many of our problems, make us globally more informed, but the opposite kinda happened. Everyone’s in their own disinformation safe space / bubble and radicalizes themselves further, causing everyone to just drift further and further apart. Class clown type people become annoying menaces and stream to a clout of equally annoying people, further reinforcing their behavior and pushing them to become more and more extreme for their perverse entertainment. Everyone throws a camera in people’s faces the moment they feel like it. Institutions push for more and more mass surveillance methods and idiots feed the same models through TicTok, Instagram and other superficial media.
That was a societal shift that we never recovered from.
Interesting.
I feel you on 9/11 killing the post Cold War honeymoon. I was a kid when it happened and it really felt like the death of my childhood innocence in a lot of ways.
What’s weird is looking back on it, most of the fears were hysteria.
I think the biggest real impacts on American lives (aside from having to think about/discuss the war) were increased security at airports and increased gas prices.
Looking back, it’s incredible how little effect the attack and war had on Americans who didn’t let it affect them.
If information and discussion was as easily accessible as it is now, perhaps people would not have been so afraid of what they did not know then.
Do you occasionally play videogames ? I’m asking because my parents are younger than you (they are in their early 60s) and tech literate but for some reason it never clicked with them, nor did “internet culture”. Like, I would be extremely surprised if one day they started expressing interest in stuff like Reddit (let alone Lemmy) and I’m trying to understand why. So I guess my followup question is how did you get into Reddit ?
I don’t play video games. I liked the format of Reddit and I like socializing, that’s how I got into it. Just randomly came across it one day.
Ok, thanks, this gets me one step closer to finding the “missing link”.
Where are you from?
Do you have children?
What do you think about your country’s current political situation?
The US. Born and raised in Massachusetts. Husband is from NYC, studied in Boston 1965-1971. We got married in 1968, lived together in Boston until 1971 when we moved to NYC. Him and I have been living in Thailand for years now though, on a very advantageous 20-year visa (Thailand Elite Visa). Yes, 1 son born in 1971, who’s living in Switzerland. Depressing.
Okay, cool. I live very close to Switzerland (close enough that my wife works there.) As I am also an anglophone living in a non-anglophone country, Lemmy is basically my sole source of English language news and whatnot. It’s sometimes very difficult to be surrounded by another language and culture, and this place has become my escape in a way. Reddit was great back in the day, but I can no longer support the enshitification it has suffered.
Welcome home!
How was the Thailand Elite Visa application process? Did you find it straightforward and is dealing with Thai immigration relatively hassle-free for you now?
What was the reason for moving to Thailand?
Great culture, great climate, so much to see and do, amazing long-term visa, well connected to the rest of Asia and the world through Bangkok, close to world class healthcare (Singapore). Couldn’t ask for more.
Do you both speak Thai? Or just winging it?
Trying but it’s difficult.
Why do you find it depressing? Because he doesn’t visit or?
The way I see it, the son moved away and is clearly living an exciting life
Depressing was my answer to the political question.
What is your favorite Linux distribution?
I don’t use Linux…
That’s obviously okay :)
If you want to change that you’ll find many helpful people here.
Our Lord and Saviour, Linus Torvalds, will always welcome you with open arms.
What is your favorite operating system?
Of all time, it’s between Win 7 and XP.
This answer is acceptable
Sorry, the correct answer is Windows 3.1. Welcome to Lemmy!
You’re always welcome to try out Elementary OS ;)
What has helped you get through the hardest/most painful times in your life most?
What brings you joy day to day?
Nature and solitude + my husband except for that one time when he was the cause (he had an affair). Music, good food, company of loved ones, books, a good night’s sleep… the simply joys.
I’m interested to hear more about how you worked through your husbands affair, if you’re open to talking about it
Sure. I found out about it from some mutual friends. Honestly my first reaction was, what a dumbass… if you’re going to cheat at least do it smartly and properly so that no soul knows about it. Funnily enough at first I was more disappointed in him for being stupid, I believed he was an intelligent man. I wanted to know every detail and he came clean about everything. Cut off all contact with that woman and put in the work to rebuild trust… a bit of a surveillance period. Either way, I knew I would never leave him just over a one time stray away; but of course he couldn’t know this. I appreciated he didn’t lie when confronted about it or try to victimize himself, justify it, make excuses, etc. He was very frank.
Your husband is a lucky man
What was your first experience with the internet? Where you an early adopter or did you discover it later? How did you find out about the existence of the internet?
My husband telling me his MCI Mail started using the Internet, so late 1980s. My first personal experience wasn’t until AOL though, so 1996-1997. From my husband.
What made you start looking for reddit alternatives? What subreddits are you hoping to find analogs for?
I liked Reddit because it was like a forum. Forum = socialization. An over-moderated platform like Reddit and socialization don’t mix well together. So many rules, the karma / account age system which allows / restricts your access to different communities - censors you… I like the ask old people one on Reddit. In general I like the Q&A ones. Plus whatever’s on the front page. I’m not picky.
At 40, I am convinced that we cosplay as adult characters to hide our inner child, mostly from ourselves. Some seem to allow the stresses of life and responsibilities to make the mask indistinguishable, but I doubt any truly make it real. Do you wear the mask of age over the eyes of your inner child? Does age hold a meaningful value to you beyond the comradery of shared experience?
Do you think today is better or 1960/70? And why?
For me 1960/70 because youth. Objectively probably now - the world has never been freer: socially, economically, politically, etc.
