The Spanish government has a plan to prevent kids from watching porn online: Meet the porn passport.
Officially (and drily) called the Digital Wallet Beta (Cartera Digital Beta), the app Madrid unveiled on Monday would allow internet platforms to check whether a prospective smut-watcher is over 18. Porn-viewers will be asked to use the app to verify their age. Once verified, they’ll receive 30 generated “porn credits” with a one-month validity granting them access to adult content. Enthusiasts will be able to request extra credits.
You have to request more porn credits from the government if you need more? Don’t want the government to be tracking this data of you. This is a privacy issue
Politicians keep trying to helicopter parent the entire populations of countries.
Making sure your kids don’t go places online before they should, and have conversations with them about it once they reach an age where it happening is inevitable, is something every, single, parent, should do.
Not the fucking state.
And this has to be one the weirdest implementations of porn surveillance I’ve ever seen.
Exactly! Government granted ‘porn credits’ sounds absolutly insane as a serious idea…
Porn “Enthusiasts will be able to request extra credits” is one wild sentence.
A porn “enthusiast”, requesting the government for porn credits, to watch porn? What?
tfw no porn credits
I hate when you’re about to bust and run out of credits. Like, just take the ruined O or power on into the “insert permission slip reference” screen?
drink verification cansqueeze verification dong
In my experience most parents are to lazy to keep up with setting appropriate restrictions for kids and like some parents, they expect someone else to raise and take care of their children.
Folks, this is not about the porn.
So what? I’ve had the exact same experience.
It’s not a reason for the state to overstep into ALL our lives. In fact, the state stepping in is giving such parents yet more excuses to put even less effort into shaping the adults that their children will become.
That’s their problem. I’ll handle my kids, fuck the government and fuck those useless parents as well. They should not have had kids.
…fuck those useless parents as well. They should not have had kids.
But that’s how the problem started in the first place!
Wow good job Spain.
I guess this works because email doesn’t exist.
I guess this works because file sharing applications and websites don’t exist.
I guess this works because VPN’s free and paid don’t exist.
I guess this works because Tor, i2p, Freenet, and Yggdrasil don’t exist.
I guess this works because torrenting doesn’t exist.
I guess this works because black markets don’t exist.
I guess this works because chat applications don’t exist.
To be a fly on the wall of these government meetings where they talk about this shit would surely be the funniest fucking thing in the world.
I want to be at the meeting a year from now where they realize only two people have ever signed up ‘Yay we fixed porn!’
Buy who am I kidding they brought VPN shares before this was introduced
and probably have some of the most depraved porn habits imaginable
Bought VPN shares and water shipping company shares because they know wasting money on this shit instead of on public infrastructure to provide more reliable clean water is only good for commercial interests.
You are right, it’s really stupid.
But it’s also stupid not to consider, that it’s not the real reason they made this in the first place.
They want to track you, and porn is the first excuse. If this is a success you might need this passport for alot of other things.
Thank you for contributing!
You’ve used the last of your political observation credits for the month. If you’d like to request more, please visit yourcountry.gov citizen portal and fill out the application. Your wait time will be 3-5 business days. We apologize for the wait but we are currently receiving a high volume of applications.
-govbot
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On the plus side Spains teenagers are about to become extremely computer literate.
In other news, Spain sees a surge in VPN services subscription.
So teens learn about Tor & VPNs. This stuff doesn’t work. The higher you put the skills to get access, the more they will learn. Nothing motivates teens more than access to adult stuff. Maybe this is really a tech literacy policy.
Learning to circumvent my parent’s fumbling attempts to keep me off of early nineties bulletin board porn made me the man I am today.
Yup, all you’re doing is teaching them to cover their tracks
A generation of privacy savvy citizens doesn’t sound bad.
Much easier just to go to sketchy websites than learn how to hide your traffic
Or, just as likely, go to the sketchy VPNs from the first Play Store results.
This government intrusion is brought to you by Surfshark.
“Enthusiasts will be able to request extra credits.”
Well that’s a relief. For a minute there, I was worried.
Back in my day, extra credit had to be earned.
I’m already chafed.
They made this to send people from legal sites to illegal sites.
Government giving you porn credits sounds hilarious.
This ensures traceability through the public key as content providers will consistently receive the same public key when the credential is presented
What a ridiculous system. For some reason I expected that their efforts to offer an illusion of privacy would be better than the obfuscatory bullshit they’ve leaned on here in order to enable “traceability.”
I hope it goes down so badly in Spain that the rest of Europe is once and for all convinced that such schemes to restrict and monitor the web browsing habits of every citizen are ineffective for their stated purpose, needlessly invasive of privacy and freedom, destructive of democracy, and can serve only as a prelude to totalitarianism.
Having read the actual description of the protocol, such as it is, I should add in the interest of fairness that those "30 generated porn credits” do get you 30 new key pairs each month. They are issued directly by the central authority which knows exactly who they’re issuing them to, and the public key is presented directly to web sites you visit. But they promise not to track how you use them.
That it’s so absurd and poorly designed is reassuring in a way. It’s difficult to imagine anyone using this.
Instead of educating kids, it’s much easier to… not, and invade their privacy instead.
…invade everyone’s privacy instead.
Keep people safe … by encasing them in packing foam and feeding them through IV tubes!
Everyone knows freedom is anti safety. And safety’s number 1!
Hmm. Driving porn viewers who value their privacy underground couldn’t possibly have any negative consequences I can think of.
Porn passport = Wanking license
Also known as “pajaporte” in Spanish (paja = wank)
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Oi mate! Wankin loicense! Give it here. Noi!
Hola señores, necesito más créditos de la pornografía porque sus madres tienen tetas grandes.
Vergas son mejores; te lo doy si te comportas. Lol
Mi chiste favorito de la escuela…Cuando esta lloviendo, a ti te gusta ver gotitas? O ver gototas?
A mi me encantan las ver gototas.
Senior governor, necesitamos assistancia pornografica. Mas creditos por favor! Esas chiches no se pagan solas!