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Stamets@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Poseidon why

lemmy.world

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Poseidon why

lemmy.world

Stamets@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • 6daemonbag@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    Imagine being the first one to use a fresh porta potty. No smell, other than that blue chemical water down at the bottom. It’s so damn clean.

    “Great!” you exclaim with excitement. So you sit down on that smooth dry toilet seat and, relaxing, a tremendous donker just falls right out of you.

    The mass is too great. The distance. The speed and acceleration. It isn’t even a second of time, but you know. You know.

    GaTHUNK

    A cold blue kiss races towards the moon. A moon so relaxed the single crater yawns beckoningly wide. The kiss forms into a dull spear, racing towards the darkened maw. It enters beyond the shadow. Fully into the heavenly body. Cold meets heat.

    You yelp in shock. There is cold artificially blue water deep in your butthole. The sudden tension passes and as your muscles relax again, some of that cold drains back down to earth. A light shower.

    You were looking forward to this festival all year and you spend the entire time distractedly thinking in shame about how something so fortuitous turned to disaster in moments. You didn’t bring a change of underwear. Why would you?

    • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Thanks, that was a great read…

      I sorta feel the need to scrape myself clean after, but it was worth it

      • 6daemonbag@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        This actually happened to me. I spent the whole day imagining how blue my ass was, too distracted to truly enjoy myself. Obviously I told everyone because I also thought it was funny but… UGH

  • MIDItheKID@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Wasn’t this basically the original f7u12 rage comic?

    • Waluigis_Talking_Buttplug@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It weird to think just how much prominent internet culture originated on 4chan in the earlier days of memes

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        It’s the advantage of barely moderated places like that, fosters creativity since anything goes. But then again, anything goes is also a big downside.

  • Chaos@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Inside? Are you gaping? 😂

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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      1 year ago

      If the turd is big enough to cause the water to splash up your butt, it’s probably also big enough to leave you wide open.

      • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Vulnerable yes, sphincterless no

    • ☂️-@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      i mean he just took a shit

  • pm_me_your_quackers@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Get rekt you non-bidet having fucks

    • The Assman@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Bidet? I’m not some weirdo European. Anyway, time to smear dry paper on my ass crack and then go about my day.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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      1 year ago

      “Hate it? I go out of my way to have it happen!”

      • pm_me_your_quackers@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Why stop at posiden’s kiss when you can have posiden’s piss

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Poseidon’s power washer

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I pressure wash my prostate because it feels nice.

  • Kotsi3P0@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Oh a good old Poseidon’s kiss…

  • m-p{3}A
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    1 year ago

    💋

  • Pinklink@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    And it’s always non-consensual

  • db2@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Basket Case is such an underrated series. 🙏

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      • db2@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        URLs with an ampersand break badly, try rehosting it somewhere like catbox.moe

  • Kotsi3P0@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

  • MadMaurice@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    i…inside? 😵‍💫

  • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    That’s why I prefer the flat flushing type.

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