Need to cut taxes on the dragon. This way he will spend his money and it will trickle down to the poor villagers. He would never hoard his wealth.
Every time the dragon burns down the village hard-working contractors are given jobs. That dragon is a job creator!
Exactly-- all those short-sighted villagers want to put policies in place that will make it not worth being a dragon anymore, or push them into being dragons for another country. Then they won’t have all the benefits that dragons bring to the table
I am definitely getting a dragon to do my taxes
I have devils write all my wishes for me. I tend to hand my DM two to three pages of “this is what I mean, do not screw me over.” Their standard fee is 15,000 GP
I’ll cast the Wish/Miracle, I just make sure I’m getting what I want out of it.
Just get ChatGPT to do it (AI tools are subject to hallucination risks, please read the documents clearly before submitting)
GPT-4 is getting scarily better at avoiding hallucinations. I recently told it to hypothetically worldbuild based on a culture that I specified and it scarily has the niche knowledge regarding the culture. Whereas GPT-3.5 only uses general information to worldbuild.
I was just trying to replicate the mutual fund investment ads
I hear their fees are outrageous
I can provide a payment plan. I am very flexible. 800 Pure human souls, provided in 3 payments. No questions.
But I heard human souls are more volatile than weak cryptocurrencies, one day they can be worth millions and at the end of the day they might be worth almost nothing (they’ll never be completely worthless but they sure get close), so it’s a rather risky investment.
Came across a nice little book a while back, Axtara - Banking and Finance. It’s about a dragon who decides the best way to build a hoard is to set up a bank and let people just give their money to her for safekeeping. She actually does a good job of looking into what banks are for, though, and selects a recently-established town out on the fringes of civilization where there’s a lot of potential for future growth and development, planning to issue loans to help businesses get started and increase the overall wealth of the region. And thus the value of her own hoard, both in terms of the raw money in the vault and the value of the mortgages she holds.
This reminded me of that.
Added to the pile of shame… Thanks for the recommendation
And then the party reminds the dragon that this is a fantasy world where the rich pay their taxes and cant use loopoles to avoid doing so.
I think winning that argument would require understanding the loophole. How well do you understand it? I freely admit my grasp of it is quite poor. I’d welcome insight from others.
If they work for the fantasy equivalent of the IRS, they probably understand tax law better than the dragon does.
If youre asking how well I understand the dragon’s argument, its basically arguing that until the assets are actually sold, their value is theoretical and therefore not taxable. While implying that they cant collect tax from the dragon anyway even if it could be taxed because it is hoarding said unsold assets not currency/gold with a well defined value which is a “thats the dragon’s problem not ours” situation.
Dragon murders adventuring party.
Dragon builds a hoard with the funds from selling the magical items
Dragon loans this hoard to another dragon for it to gestate it’s whelplings.
Dragon approaches lich with request for a loan with the lease, horde itself, and location of the whelplings as collateral.
Dragon is granted loan.
Dragon files for bankruptcy. As it is “thousands of gold in debt”.
Kings vizer (also a dragon in disguise) assesses lair for taxable revenue, “it’s lookin like a rummage sale.”
It ain’t me
It ain’t meee
I ain’t no fortunate son.
I love the smell of dragon fire in the morning
‘well, you still have to pay property tax for this lair. That and those stock dividends are taxable’
IRL if ALL your money was tied up in the market, you’d be kinda fucked.
It also depends where they are some areas of Europe have holdings taxes but no capital gains tax so the dragon would need to pay taxes on the holdings.
If we tax the dragon, who in the village will have a job?
Billions tied up in the market, but living off that $100 million loan.
casually liquidates billions anyways for a vanity purchase of a social media company
Actually I’d find it more likely that a dragon would be the one hiring the players.
A red dragon as a bank owner makes WAY too much sense as a world building inclusion. Doesn’t even have to be evil necessarily, just the route through which all coin in the area is eventually going to flow.
The bastard would probably also always get his loans back, dragons are pretty damn good at picking up on lies and tricks, especially red and green ones, so basically they would always be able to pick a good loan, meaning they’d always be making more horde gold off investments. Enough so that the local merchants actually banned the dragon from publishing their books or making their own investments through the stock exchange because whenever it becomes known who the dragon’s betting on, everyone else will bet in kind, which kinda just eliminates market forces and competition entirely.
Isn’t this basically just how hedge funds work? Bet on someone with so much money everyone else follows suit?
The difference is that the dragon will actually be right more often than not. This would be like if a hedge fund actually worked instead of breaking average or even underperforming literally throwing darts at a board to decide whether to sell or buy.
I don’t think it actually matters whether they make smart decisions or not though, they put a ton of money in and regardless everyone goes along and they make a profit from it.
They dictate the market rather than follow it
Hedge funds almost universally under-perform index funds. They don’t dictate anything, they’re just objectively bad at everything except marketing. They make their profits on fees they charge their investors.
Never make a deal with a dragon.
Ehhh, I mean Hestaby seems OK.
The Draco foundation would never try to double-cross US.
Brother, I am stealing this
The Harebrained Schemes’ Shadowrun games (and possibly Shadowrun in general, idk) have dragons shapeshifted into human form as billionaire CEOs. It’s incredibly fitting for all the reasons you mentioned. plus I’d imagine being able to turn into a giant frikken monster can give you an edge in negotiations, even just as an unstated threat.
So what you’re telling me is we need some guillotines in the mix
Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor
Lost all his gold investing in Dracoin
Should have invested in Dragcoin: the high performance drag queen currency.
Or Dradragcoin: the dragon drag queen currency.
My ideal solution to this is the same as my ideal solution for people who do this in the real world and its that we should [REDACTED]
You’re not on Reddit anymore son, you can say it
Poor dragon can’t rest… Leave him a loan please!
And that’s when you cast fireball and light every fucking stock on fire. Dumbshit probably didn’t direct register.
Dramatic recreation of this event:
Sources:
Thanks!
Do dragon caves have HOAs?
COAs, surely.
Possibly LOAs. Lair Owner Association.
