got nothing to comment thanks
Nothing additional from me either, thanks
Before we all take off, I just wanted to circle-back on something.
That’s great, could you perhaps schedule a follow-up since I have a hard stop in 1 min? Thank you, you’re the best, see you everyone!
I’m not doing overtime my man.
Actually, I do have a question for the group. A very precise targeted question that calls the competence of the leadership present into question. It should be an easy answer, but answering honestly will make you look like a fool.
Can we take this offline?
Sure thing. Monkey bars? 3pm?
Sure. I’ll check that and get back to you.
Narrator: They didn’t.
I’m sorry, I forgot we all work for cloudflare. Please don’t take anything offline.
“That’ll be $450.” – The company invoicing for that one hour of your time.
You’re going about this the wrong way. The aim isn’t to sit there for an hour being bored, it’s to make them fear ever inviting you to a meeting like that again. Don’t just say ‘all good here’, launch in to a 30 minute screed about every minute detail of what you are (supposed to be) working on. Include painfully precice details, KPIs that only you understand, detailed task breakdowns, and be sure to indicate that, whilst this progress update meeting is surely vitally important to the very wellfare of the company itself, it is unfortunately blocking progress on project 3, stage 4, substage 2, which, as explained before, is on the critical path of the paperclip refrobulating project.
Do it right and everyone will agree you’re far to critical to be getting inconvinienced with regular meetings, just please don’t ever do that again.
This guy Principals
As an independent contractor, attending meetings that roll like this feels immoral because I just cost the company how much money just to be available on this meeting? But then I’ve seen far more money get wasted on far more frivolous things (for example I heard some VP had instead of returning their rental car, they parked it in a random parking garage without telling anyone then was radio silent for days while the rental company went hunting for it and the car ultimately got towed for unpaid parking fees so the company owed a big fine to the rental company, several extra days of rental fees, the towing fee, parking fees from both the tow lot and the parking structure and so on, all because one VP couldn’t be bothered to correctly return their rental) so I just send my invoices and continue on
I used to feel a small prang of guilt about that but then I saw the CEO of the company I’m working for building a second helipad outside because apparently having one helicopter wasn’t enough, and I stopped caring.
I cared about that shit until I found out that although I was getting $75/hr my bill rate was $300/hr. I started focusing solely on meeting attendance and then I got some equity. Shit is so unbelievably fucked in the programming consulting world.
That’s not ridiculous enough to have been uttered by Gwyneth Paltrow.
Hello agile development.
At my last company we had our standup meetings at 7AM so we could overlap with the end of our offshore team’s day. I didn’t have to be at work until 9AM so I would just take a long hot shower while listening on speaker to the interminable minutia spit out by fifty people who had no idea what a standup meeting was supposed to be. If something involved me I would just dry off my hand and pick up the phone and say my “blah blah blah”. Nobody ever suspected anything.
I just had a minor anger induced stroke at the combination of “agile stand up” and “fifty people”
To be honest it was closer to a hundred than to fifty.
Technically you were standing up
My boss wants to send me to a client in January to do exactly that because he doesn’t believe in remote work. That will be 6 hours on train (one way), just to say that I’ve got nothing to add.
I think I’ll be sick that day.
I feel seen
When you’re done with your favorite !dailygames@lemmy.zip and the meeting is still far from over…
Sounds like a really nice easy job, congrats?
All good here, thanks.
As long as nobody uses the phrase “go backs.” Otherwise I will start reading Catcher In the Rye until I am removed from the meeting.
Is that Gwyneth Paltrow?
What kind of a post is this? It’s showing up on the fedia.io homepage and it doesn’t look like a normal thread. It’s kinda confusing.
@atro_city@fedia.io I upgraded mbin to the latest version yesterday and it seems to have some odd behaviors that I don’t have my head around yet.
@jerry@fedia.io I see… interesting. It looks like a microblog entry. Since it’s sent by piefed, my guess is that piefed is partially to blame @rimu@piefed.world
A Lemmy post
@eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone There’s literally no way. It’s from piefed
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