I knew my layoff was coming because they let me do absolutely fucking nothing for six months.

I read an article a few years back about Mein Kampf and I decided I wanted to read it for myself (for the record, I’m not a nazi or a Hitler supporter - fuck off Kanye). I grabbed a copy at Barnes & Noble but there was a cute girl working the cash register and I just couldn’t bring myself to go through with the purchase. It’s available online but there’s no way I’m going to do that - my Youtube suggestions are bad enough as it is.

Later on I read about Hitler’s second book and I was like c’mon, there’s no fucking way I’m asking for the sequel to Mein Kampf.

A toaster oven can do most things that a full-sized oven can do.

And then imagine paying another $10 for Uber Eats to deliver it to you cold.

I do recommend drugs, at least weed and the hallucinogens.

Their Shakes are pretty good.

my parents also wanted me to stop listening to it because my dad found one article about a guy who beat up his girlfriend and he apparently liked Metallica

My dad once picked me up from a party when I was in high school in the 1980s; he noticed a video that was playing on MTV and was highly disturbed by the imagery in it, as he told me later (many times).

The video was “Cuts Like a Knife” by Bryan Adams. My dad thought he was losing me to Satan because of fucking Bryan Adams!

no pun intended

None taken.

Yes, it will take him some time to sift through all the secret intel that only popes get to see lol.

LOL

extra power under load to the rear wheels

Lol like there’s enough room back there to add a load.

“Shoot the bad guys before they shoot you.”

It might be even more entertaining if I said who this famous author was. But on the other hand, it might punctuate your equilibrium!

Russia chose to invade a nation that had recently discovered large reserves of natural gas - more than enough to supply Europe’s needs while they transitioned to alternatives - and that sat astride the pipeline that Russia uses to provide their gas to Europe. Even though Russia has not proved capable of conquering all of Ukraine, their occupation of the Donbas region has prevented Ukraine from becoming a viable natural gas competitor in the European market and kept their primary source of revenue alive, at least in the short term.

Nice to see the phrase “global heating” instead of the wimpy “global warming” or the even more milquetoasty “climate change”. I prefer the phrase “anthropogenic runaway global heating” because it makes clear the scale and severity of the problem as well as its origin, and also for the handy acronym.

Remember, the Constitution allows slavery! Plus, it only bans punishments that are cruel and unusual - punishments that are just cruel or just unusual are fine!

It should be DUH rather than MBA. Maybe “Doctorate of Unabashed Hyperbole”.

Desperately. And it’s a decent gig, or at least it will be until they decide AI can do it, at which point we’re going to get a bunch of flattened children.

LOL “Leading from the Middle”. AKA “Sucking Up and Punching Down”.

I had a 25-year career as a programmer. Not once did I ever have a company I worked for verify my academic or employment histories or even contact my references. I could have put down anything I wanted and it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference - my continuing employment was based on my ability to actually do shit.

I’m now a school bus driver and they checked out everything. And of course threw in drug testing and a criminal background check for good measure.