This isn’t wholesome for me, it is a literal waking nightmare.
I don’t want cookie cutter suburban stability I want a reason to live.
This ain’t it for me man.
The OP post doesn’t say it’s a suburb. It could be country or city for all we know. I have seen snow in both.
Maybe the “kids” are your cat/dog “children.”
Maybe it’s not stable. Maybe you are the president of a company that does work on a contract basis, and you choose who you do the work for because you make the proposals.
If marriage doesn’t sound good to you because you associate it with monogamy, know that there is such a thing as a non-monogamous marriage. I’m in one.
I recently moved to a city close to several national forest preserves. My dream is to buy a few dozen acres butting up against preserved land with a supply of water. I want to start a family and build a homestead that might withstand the changing climate.
I’ve spent over a decade of my adult life split between roles both teaching children and working at a tech company that didn’t appreciate me nearly enough. Up until the end of last year, I made between $14 - $35 / hr. I finally left the abusive tech company and spent 6 - 9 months searching until a few months ago, I started a new job. It’s a DevOps role at a company with a great product, doing something I believe in, for really intelligent passionate people, for almost $200k a year.
Currently, not only is paying off my student loans finally a possibility, with remote work, that homestead life is now possible too. My work is rewarding, and instead of just staying home and smoking weed, I have high enough income and low enough stress to feel comfortable going out.
I sing Karaoke one day a week, go to a writer’s group another day, take a cooking class about once a month, and currently, I’ve decided to learn DnD. All of these activities once seemed fiscally irresponsible to me, because I felt like I had to devote my time into passion projects to try to escape the rat race. Now that I have real income, I’m fully invested in it. I’m ready to sacrifice my day hours for good enough cheese.
It’s all relative. I want to overthrow our oppressors as much as anyone. I haven’t been bought out necessarily. But given the situation, I’m starting to buy in, just a bit. If a bit of wealth and a role I don’t hate can enable me to get physically fit, find a partner, and secure a plot of land where we can weather the oncoming storm, I have a hard time not rejoicing in the idea that ten years from now, we might be living a relatively mundane rural lifestyle. If we need some technical manpower to bring the oligarchy down, I’ll be there. But maybe also it’s okay to want to be happy.
May I ask how you landed such a pay bump?
In short, transitioned from a company with mostly state-level contracts to one with mostly federal-level contracts, which requires a higher level of clearance and more knowledge about security.
More specifically, the company I used to work for is a foreign conglomerate with many thousands of employees and a high turnover rate due to low pay. We would hire inexperienced people, train them up on complicated systems, and they’d leave for higher pay elsewhere, forcing us to start over. I begged HR, not to raise my pay, but to raise the pay of everyone under me because we were losing so many people. They refused. The VPs refused. I think they were under orders from overseas not to give a dime more than they had to. In the long run, it cost us millions in training. Our technical debt was through the roof. And I finally got sick of it.
My new job isn’t much more complicated than my old one, but all of the people are better, the culture is way better. Less than 100 employees. Less work to do on weekends, no on call. No outages because we follow proper DevOps practices, whereas I had to forcibly drag my previous employer into modern times.
If I have one suggestion, it’s to read The DevOps Handbook (2nd edition). Or listen to it, the audiobook is very good. It goes into great detail about how companies become like the one I left and how to implement practices that will prevent that kind of decay. Let me know if you have any questions. 😊
Based into space
A non-monogamous marriage counter to most of people’s concept behind a marriage. It’s good it works for you but is fairly fringe.
Monogamy is a human construct that had a beginning. It could have an end.
Fuck whoever you want, nobody cares in the long term.
Except if you catch something then a whole lot of people might care!
You hear: Employed, has home, married, has kids
You think: Cookie cutter suburban stability, literal waking nightmare?
You can’t walk away from those things easily.
I see them as suffocating and a compromise to my own self.
Of course I accept that others see it differently but your response is exactly why this is a denigrated view.
If you go against the grain of our society (I.e. you aren’t a heterosexual couple with children, a house, job and family pet) you are weird or unsuitable for raising children.
FYI the person above me edited their original comment where they said I shouldn’t have children (for the children’s sake - won’t somebody think of the children!!!).
It’s important context because I would say it is the prevailing view of our society (that social deviants should not have children) but they said the silent part out loud and realised.
You know, I know how you feel. You may change, you may not. I used to feel the exact same way, but I did change some (not 100%). I’m pretty happy.
On the other hand my very good friend is well into his 40s, hasn’t changed, and he’s like this weird (in the best way) technical nomad who walks away from almost everything every so often.
So do you. That dream is for a whole lot of folks, but not everyone. I see you. Do what makes you happy.
I did edit out that part, almost immediately, because I realized it came off mean and that wasn’t my intention. I do still very much think if you “have no reason to live” you should not have children.
For someone who’s so concerned about feeling like your perspective is denigrated, I wonder why you think denigrating the perspective of people who have kids, etc is alright? I mean, what did you expect in response when you insult people, calling their lives “cookie cutter suburban stability” when you don’t know anything about them? You don’t need to be some white cishet christian man to have a family and a job, to think you’re not insulting diverse people with the way you approached this is ignorant on your part
Tbf two of those four I would like to avoid if at all possible.
Homeless and unemployed it is
is lifescript ._.
You just don’t get it man, he’s different. He has edge!
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About 5 years ago, I had this dream… I was sat at the bottom of a spiral staircase, in what I knew to be my house, having a party with my fiancee sat next to me. I laughed and said “How did I get so lucky, someone pinch me!”. Fiancee pinched me, I said “ow!” and we laughed. Then I woke up, fucking brutal sense of loss for a wonderful life that suddenly didn’t exist.
I still remember it quite clearly. Last month my landlord served notice on me after 13 years (wants to sell), I’m self employed and always thought a mortgage was out of the question. Well… I have tenative approval from a lender… and an offer accepted on a house… still time for it to fall apart. So I refuse to get excited till keys in hand.
Anyway this has turned into a bit of a long ting. But just wanted to share, for anyone else who thinks it’s impossible… it’s very hard. But do-able.
I hope everything works out for the best!
Thanks! I’m sure it will. Worst case scenario I’ll live with my dad for a bit who I love to bits, I won’t be homeless whatever happens.
That wasn’t a dream, it was a premonition!
Wouldn’t that be awesome!
Good luck, I hope you move in safely and everything goes well.
Thanks :)
Dude I’m so sorry, isn’t why is it that your own brain/subconscious can be so shitty to yourself? Why Do we torture ourselves :(
Exceptionally cruel, wasn’t it! Probably just my subconscious trying to remind me that I once dreamed of owning my own home and finding that special someone. “Like come on dude! I’m trapped in here with you, the input of late has become quite depressing, can you sort yourself out please?”
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You aren’t accounting for the inclusion of “Trumpsday” to extend the workweek in honor of the newly-declared President for Life in the late 2020s.
“Life” being potentially less than one term. Its who’s on deck that makes me nervous.
Reality:
You get fucked by big companies. Your snow is reduced to februrary because of climate change.
Finding a special other is almost impossible due to social media fed anxiety. Meeting people outside of the internet is unknown and people on the internet are the weirdest ones.
Owning a house is a privilege of the upper society.
Thanks to our parents and grand parents the governments in most countries are more right wing than before.
I agree w most of this but I’d argue most people meet outside the internet. I’m online far too much for it to be healthy and even I meet most people irl
You are probably right. I exaggerated a bit.
Character arc
While this may be true, I usually think that the problem is me, not other people
Well it is always good to look at it from a different view and see if you are the problem, but if you have done that come to a logical conclusion
Don’t forget you get cancer, and your wife leaves with half your retirement
“Reality” from OP’s post is not 10 years from now, it’s right now for me except it’s not Christmas and snowing because it’s September.
I achieved it by living in a low cost of living area and being smart. I got academic scholarships to get my start in college, then built a mountain of student loan debt as I continued through college, then entered the workforce and built a good career. Still working on almost 40k of loans and a mortgage, but I have it all well under control.
Good for you. I for my case also don’t have it bad. Never even knew of Student debt until I went to reddit, because in Germany most education is free.
However we should consider us lucky and most people won’t even have a chance to get there even if they work 20 hours a day.
I hate to tell you this, but your experience isn’t typical.
It pretty much is for a majority of my contemporaries in this low cost of living area. Lots of nice houses around here for under $300k. Mine was under 150k
If everyone lived in a low cost of living area then it wouldn’t be low cost of living. I’m happy for your success, but the fact that the rich throw crumbs to some of us isn’t cause for celebration when there’s millions worse off than you and even you deserve more.
I didn’t say everybody should move here. I don’t want them to. It’s just a message of support to those who think life is hopeless, that there are other opportunities out in the world that they should be aware of. Too many people get trapped in their local mindset and don’t even think that things could be better somewhere else.
Also a reminder of the value of being frugal. Living in a high cost of living area is the antithesis of being frugal.
I’m going to be honest but that’s really not my dream life lol
Care to share your win conditions?
Not OP but retiring alone so it’s me time 24 7
This is a nightmare. I intentionally moved somewhere that it never snows and I absolutely hate children.
Snow kills big insects and leaves nothing too bad. The amount of cockroaches in some places makes makes snow worthwhile in its own right.
Humidity, now that’s the real killjoy.
Imagine celebrating Xmas in QLD Australia. December 25th and 26th are often the most humid days of the year, or very close to it. Storm season is threatening, but not quite delivering so that humidity just builds and builds but rarely breaks.
It’s so hot that nobody can sleep. Your house is filled with in-laws you can barely stand and their awful offspring screeching on everyone’s final sleep deprived, sweat drenched nerve.
You shower three times a day, but you are dripping rivers of sweat again before you can get your fresh clothes on.
Everyone sits down to a massive hot Christmas meal (as is tradition) and the table is decorated with heavily snow themed decore. Snowmen feature heavily…for some reason none of the kids quite understand.
Nat King Cole croons in the background about chestnuts on an open fire.
Everyone drinks heavily, wishing they had never moved to this cursed continent.
Relationships are under new strain.
People talk about the looming climate crisis and you finally snap.
Looming?! This country has NEVER been fit for human habitation! Never!
Nat King Cole keeps crooning from some blessed snowy heaven but he’s drowned out by the shrill of cicadas.
Lol
Also having a winter means really enjoying the summer. I love living with four seasons. Even shoveling snow with my partner is something I look forward to every year.
Yep. Also owning a single family house in a snowy parts of the world absolutely sucks
I have a vasectomy…
WHERE DID THE KIDS COME FROM
You and your partner are clearly goat farmers producing high quality, organic, cruelty-free, goat cheese that has made you millions.
Best answer
I wonder where… btw why do they look like your future neighbors?
Wow are you me? Had the same reaction lmao
Adopted hopefully? That’d be better than an unwelcome surprise.
In ten years we’ll have missed the boat to have kids and we still probably won’t be able to afford a home in the city we live in. At least it won’t be long till the Water Wars starts and ends this miserable timeline.
Honestly I don’t regret moving to the countrimyside for the kids. Even if my commute is doubled.
Lol i moved to the suburbs for myself and yes it’s way better than living in the city.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future.
People reporting this haven’t seen Trainspotting. Brilliant movie!
WE WANT YOUR SOUL
If you don’t own a home by now, then you probably never will. Unless you are given a large sum of money, forget it.
Or waiting for parents to pass along dat inheritance
watching my inlaws destroy their house through hording, neglect and laziness has been deeeeeeepressing - not for me, we moved away from the south and my time in the army helped me buy a house, but for my wife’s siblings. It’s gonna be a wreck before they confront their problems, and any kind of generational benefit to their other kids is gone.
My parents sold their nice old house to have a new one built that is worse in just about every measurable way. I’m real salty about that.
The reality is that people are buying homes, though. Over half of millennials are now homeowners. The number of first time homebuyers in the US, the majority of which are around 30 years old, has hovered between 1.5 million and 2 million per year since 2008.
It’s absolutely true that our money doesn’t go as far as our parent’s did, but people are buying homes every day and it’s silly to act like it’s impossible for most people.
Sources?
Not the user you are asking, but I brought mine.
My parents thought the same thing when they came out of school in the 80s, I thought the same thing when I came out of school in the 00s… the cycle continues!
I am 31 and still don’t see myself having kids in 10 years or indeed ever.
and I would prefer sitting in my jaccuzi while it’s snowing around me.
I’ve always said that I’ll know when I’ve made it when I can sit in a jacuzzi with a view during a snowstorm.
God I hope I don’t have kids in my late mid 40’s. Can I imagine living in a shack I built on some land I bought and I don’t have to talk to idiots everyday about nonsense? Nne of that shit in the meme appeals to me.
These are such negative comments in the replies
You’re right. I thought the more positive ones were just being downvoted by the pessimists, but yikes the comments only got darker the further I scrolled down.
Seriously wtf
Boomer fanfiction is so hot right now.
10 years later: Single, can’t afford rent, job doesn’t pay, kids? Can’t even afford a fish, it’s scorching hot outside, and tomorrow you work. All the hard work, for what? At least the bosses made it
Why wait ten years, when we’re all living the dream today.
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