…apparently my roughly 2 year old and still fairly powerful desktop does not meet their requirements due to that stupid chip it needs to have. I do not wish to buy a new computer and I do not wish to be a Windows slave again.

https://github.com/builtbybel/Flyby11 will allow you to install on any older hardware by using the Server install method that skips the hardware check for TPM. That said, a 2 year-old PC could actually have TPM. My 5 year-old gaming rig does, and so does my 2015 with an i5 6xxx. Maybe your PC TPM defaults to a disabled state, or perhaps it really is not present.

Audacity(which I love)…

Tenacity is the preferred, privacy respecting fork of Audacity. Platform agnostic.

But here’s the thing, I WANT to be a Linux user…

And you can, but it sounds like you should probably keep using dual boot and learn Linux as you go. You can likely play your games on Linux (check protondb.com for compatibility and tips), but your list of required apps may be beyond your current ability to use on Linux.

However, with some time and experimentation, I suspect you’ll find the tools available for Linux might be superior to what you use in Windows. Like your mp3 normalization options are likely more varied and robust in Linux.

I do not wish to be a Windows slave again.

The only way to achieve this is to keep working with Linux to gain experience. In the meantime, there are tools and methods to limit the spying and put control of your Windows PC back in your hands.

You can block unwanted version upgrades with an app like Steve Gibson’s incontrol.

Install your chosen app-level firewall to block telemetry.

Utilize one of the popular privacy scripts (disclaimer: can easily break functionality of your PC, but easy to roll back, just make sure to save the corresponding reversion script to negate tie changes) like privacy.sexy to disable unwanted features of Windows.

All that said, it sounds like your first Linux experience had been somewhat typical, with some bumps and learning involved. I applaud you for the effort 👏. Keep learning and keep trying to move more of your workflow to Linux. The past five years has brought a lot more from being Windows only into Linux then ever before.

the list of things you’d like to be able to seamlessly transition over is kinda… well, that’s a lot of stuff. anyone claiming you can pull this off whilst maintaining any semblance of productivity is deluded.

my advice would be, get yourself a second machine. powerful hardware is stupid cheap nowadays and you can get a semi-competent laptop in the $100 region. take your time setting it up, always having the option to tear everything down and start over as it’s not your primary rig. start with a beginner friendly distro, Mint or Ubuntu, try 'em both and see which you like better.

then, just start doing the things from the list. item 1, easy-peasy. item 7 next, huh that was easy. next item 4, then 5… you’re gradually transitioning, without any downtime and always having the fallback option of your existing setup. before you know it, you’re a Linux user!

by the time you figure all this stuff out, you’ll have the knowledge and confidence to nuke windows for good and jump in both feet, not to mention - your laptop as a fallback.

Try this: 1) download a Linux distro ISO (recommend Mint Cinnamon because of help forum) 2) Use ETCHER to burn it onto an EMPTY USB stick (4G is enuf; ERASE it if it’s not new). 3) Insert the stick into a USB port, reboot and get into your BIOS. 4) Do not use SecureBoot, Try to use a LEGACY boot instead of UEFI (if your BIOS has that option).
4. Now use your BIOS to boot from the stick.

If all of that works you have booted from the stick and see the Mint OS Icon. Then you’re in a ‘LIVE USB’ session with the option to install Linux to your drive at the upper left (I think, don’t use Cinnamon). No hurry. Just live there, and maybe go through all of that 1 or 2 more times.

Just take time to get used to the OS for a while. You need to make sure that there’s room on the drive for the install. 20-25GB is plenty. So your ‘BOATLOAD’ should be more than enough. (You can also install it on -another- drive if you like. SO easy!)

Find a web page or video that comfortably helps YOU understand the install process (a snap, until you get to the important page where you tell it WHERE to install the OS). Be sure you have prepared the drive (if need be) before you do the install. ENJOY (I’ve done a -lot- of LM installs. Only ONCE from a Windows environment, NEVER again.)

In case of any snags, the busy and help Mint Forum page is here: https://forums.linuxmint.com/

Controversial opinion, just use Windows. There is no reason for you to switch and every reason for you not to. No Linux distribution will do everything thing you want and no Linux distro will do half the things you mentioned without significant tinkering. If you really want to keep Windows 10 just use Windows 10 LTSC, alternatively you can just switch to Windows 11. Granted Windows 11 is worse than Windows 10 but itll be more than serviceable for your needs.

If you don’t want to fiddle, Linux Mint Cinnamon.

Switched last year. If you’d rather write a page of text whining instead of leaning how to use Google, let alone anything harder… Just use Windows. Nobody cares, especially in this tiny community. You’ve already nailed the problem and nobody wants to interest the time trying to make you barely competent at life, let alone be some stupid free Linux coach.

You could solve any of these problems in like 30 seconds of googling it. But here you are instead.

I do use my computer for a lot of [specific and diverse] things.

I just want to use it, I don’t want to tinker with it.

I do not wish to buy a new computer and I do not wish to be a Windows slave again.

I think you’re going to have to pick two, at least for now.

Software ecosystems are large and complex, especially for users with needs as diverse as yours. Microsoft and Apple have managed to more-or-less tame them through decades of work by a great many employees, market dominance (compelling other companies to do much of the work for them), and an almost inconceivable amount of money.

Free software ecosystems are developed mostly by individuals solving their own problems in whatever unpaid time they can spare. We’re very lucky to have them at all. They are steadily improving, are already impressive in some areas, and a few components are even sponsored these days, but I think it will be a while before these ecosystems cover as many different tasks as you’re describing with as much polish as you demand.

Some of us accept this, and are willing to invest time and effort into becoming proficient with free tools and their quirks, in exchange for a computing experience without the tentacles of capitalism. Others don’t have the time or patience for that, but are willing to make do with a smaller set of tools in exchange for that freedom. Either of these approaches can be a good trade-off, but they’re not for everyone.

If you can’t or won’t budge, then it might be best put your Linux hopes aside for now, and see how the ecosystem looks in another 10 years.

Surfing the net. It needs to NOT lag or fail to connect.

If you have been lucky enough to avoid such things so far, then I salute you and hope your good luck continues. No computer or operating system is immune to problematic network connections or services.

I love Linux but I don’t think it’s for you yet, at least not with a lot of sacrifices and compromises. If 3 and 6 and possibly 8 are non-negotiable then they’re dealbreakers. Some of it can be somewhat handled with things like virtual machines and GPU passthrough but that will absolutely be a bunch of terminal stuff to get running well, and possibly extra hardware.

I should also mention that I’m a goal oriented person. I just want to use it, I don’t want to tinker with it. That goes for pretty much any tool. I consider the OS a tool.

Sometimes, achieving goals require upgrading your skills and taking the time to learn them properly, and for Linux the terminal is the most powerful tool you could have. We don’t use it because we have to, we use it because it’s a powerful tool that can get just about anything done.

In your case, using tools to debloat Windows might be the best bet. I’ve been using winutil for my Windows VMs, works great and removes most of the crap: https://github.com/ChrisTitusTech/winutil

Linux is different to Windows; to use it you have to accept the differences to a certain extent.

Having said that, the examples you give of frustrations sound like you didn’t get far with Linux, and I wonder if part of the problem is just making the effort to get used to it? But I also wonder whether Linux is just not for you, given your software needs.

A few things you should be aware of for your use scenarios:

• You can install a virtual machine and run Windows in it, with a license if you want, for your edge scenarios of specific programs you use. It will take some minor effort to do but I have Windows 11 installed in a KVM machine on my Linux machine for the rare times I want to use my Work Office account. I prefer it to the web version. However it will be more problematic for high end graphics software; you will probably want a dual boot system for native graphics access for that. There is a route of getting a second graphics card just for your virtual Windows machine but I’m not sure that sounds like a route you’d want to go down?
• Many games just work now with Linux and Steam Proton (or other Wine/Proton derived systems). However if you want to guarantee they work all the time then again you will have to dual boot windows. I have Windows 10 installed on it’s own drive on my PC; I haven’t used it in months but it’s there for gaming in case something doesn’t work. So yes I have 2 windows licenses on my PC; rarely used but there to cover all use scenarios for me. That is extreme and in your case I’d probably just keep 1 and dual boot but both are doable.
• Linux is much more user friendly than it used to be, and drivers are generally well kept up to date including for new devices but there is often a lag for the cutting edge systems as manufacturers target Windows for launch. I would take a different attitude to you regarding devices - if they’ve not got Linux drivers I don’t want to be stuck with a lemon device in my PC. Your graphics card (AMD) is well supported; and I’d be amazed if your network drivers don’t work in this day and age - use a USB live distro to test those things
• If you are going to use Linux then I’d strongly recommend KDE as a desktop as the default paradigm is very familiar for windows users. It is also very flexible and you can make pretty much any GUI you like out of it, but at the start it just works and is familiar. I would not touch Gnome if I were you - it is very different to windows and you don’t seem like the kind of person who would tolerate it’s restrictive design philosophy. Other windows like DEs include Cinnamon on Linux Mint (There are many more but I think Cinnamon or KDE would be best, depending very much on which Distro you want to use).
• There are open source alternative for much of the software you use, but some of what you use may also run natively using Wine. However you’d have to be prepared to tinker and test to get there.

Overall however, I’d suggest that if you’re so locked in to propriety software then Linux may not be right for you. While you may prefer it to Windows in many ways on paper, ultimately the companies whose propriety products you have bought and like are not generally interested in supporting Linux. So you have a choice - either you accept being locked in to your vendors including their choice of windows, or you look at Linux supporting alternatives (open source or propriety), or you accept a hybrid set up of dual booting (which didn’t work for you previously). Only you can decide whether you’re willing to make the multiple shifts in preferred software you’d probably need to make to be able to use Linux as your daily driver.

If you do want to go down the Linux route; then personally I’d suggest OpenSuSe Leap - it’s KDE based, it’s a stable point release base, and has decent support, and is designed to be both a home desktop distro and a more professional work device. Linux Mint would also be a good place to start - Cinnamon is very windows like, and there is loads of support on the web as it’s so popular.

Just a few things I would like to add.

First, switch to Libreoffice when you can as OpenOffice is not being maintained all that well. As far as Linux goes I see know reason you should force yourself into it. Windows 11 is not that bad and I get the impression you want things to be the Windows way. Linux has gotten significantly better but it sounds like you want a Windows clone which is not possible. Linux will never be a drop in replacement for Windows especially if you need perfect compatibility. I will note that your lag issue is probably tied to YouTube defecting Firefox and throttling the connection.

With that being said, if you are serious about switching I would get a separate computer to use and learn on. Your workflow will need to shift so it is better to have a separate device to play with. You can pickup a old business machine for around $100. (Or possibly free if you to a junk yard)

Distro wise mint is probably your best bet.

Dependency on proprietary software will be a problem. Maybe it will run via wine. Maybe not. Maybe it will work for a short bit and then inexplicably break. It’s proprietary and there isn’t much recourse. However there are a lot of good alternatives that are available under multiple operating systems.

My two biggest recommendations are look for systems that are either made to run Linux like something from tuxedo or system 76. Or spend $100 on eBay getting an old Lenovo Dell or HP business tower. (Not laptop. Laptop can get into some really weird fucky proprietary stuff.) They’re generally built from solid lowest common denominator Parts with wide support.

Dual booting sounds nice. But it gets to be a real hassle most the time unless you absolutely need it. If you have a system separate just to use and learn Linux on. You WILL have a better time. 4th and 6th generation Intel i7 business Towers are still extremely usable today.

I’m a goal oriented person. I just want to use it, I don’t want to tinker with it.

I intended to recommend to you, you’d then better continue using Windows 10. Since that’s working for you and you got it set up. But I realize support will end next year already.

I mean the Linux user experience won’t change fundamentally. You’d better get used to it, or think about some alternative solution. Or pick the distro you like best and just live with the one or two edge cases. I’ve come to realize that Windows people have started to realize the advantages of scripting and the command line (Power shell) as well, and nowadays the admins started doing similar things that they’ve previously looked down upon… I see how an ordinary user would prefer to just click on something… But some parts (especially) of Linux had been made with the power user in mind. And no one got around implementing some simple UI (yet). I mean it is how it is. Linux also isn’t 100% perfect.

Regular stuff should work. And it should be minimum as fast as Windows. If you’re installing it on cheap and old hardware (with your TV set), I’m not sure if slowness is the operating system’s fault, or if it’s just the slow hardware that struggles with the modern and demanding video codecs.

I wish you the best and that you’ll find some acceptable solution. I think at first you need to sort out the network driver issue. If it’s necessary, just spend the $20 for a new network card. I think Linux is doing a decent job in supporting a lot of hardware. But coverage isn’t 100%, even today. And the situation is fairly good compared to the old days. And the issue goes both ways. I also own hardware that isn’t supported by Windows (any more). That’s the cost of switching operating systems.

I think you need to stick with windows, there’s a lot of specialized software you listed (Vegas, CNC machine) that I don’t think will work well.

If you want to switch to Linux, you will have to learn how to use the command line. That’s basically mandatory. But you can still use a Linux desktop with minimal terminal usage.

My best recommendations for newbies is:

1- Linux Mint

2- Ubuntu (Or preferably Kubuntu in my opinion as it’s more Windows-like)

3- Debian Stable which is the distribution upon which the two previous ones are built upon, but it’s a bit rough around the edges and lack some quality of life tools to make it a bit easier to use, like a tool to detect your hardware and download and install relevant drivers and also installing proprietary codecs for multimedia. Whereas Ubuntu variants and Mint have this out of the box. But, the reward in the long term is a solid, no-bullshit, no-bloat, stable Linux OS with minimal problems. It’s worth the extra work in my opinion.