Supposedly Alexander the Great went to visit Diogenes in a suburb of Corinth to see what his deal was. When Alexander asked if Diogenes wanted anything from him, Diogenes reported replied “yes, move, you’re blocking the sun.”
Afterwards, Alexander was so amused and impressed that he’s quoted as saying “it I were not Alexander, I wish I were Diogenes.”
Fucking awesome.
I seem to recall Diogenes replied:
Likewise: if I were not Diogenes I too would wish I were Diogenes
I mean it’s all probably made up but what a guy.
i’ve been trying to figure out how to explain the spirit of the '70s to people, and i think that’s exactly it… everybody wanted to be Diogenes…
Diogenes was the Zlatan of philosophy.
And apparently Diogenes said back to Alexander “if I were not Diogenes, I would also want to be Diogenes”.
Legend.
Dude straight up told the most powerful man of his time to fuck off.
Diogenes didn’t exactly tell him to fuck off, it was more that he made a request for him to move over as if Alexander was literally any other man on Earth. An equal. Which arguably is more insulting as I’m sure Alexander’s enemies often told him to fuck off, but this was the first time he was requested to stand aside by a dude known to publically masturbate.
Later, Alexander found Diogenes picking at the bones of a long dead servant, and when Alexander inquired as to what Diogenes was doing, Diogenes replied that he was trying find the difference between these bones and the bones of Alexander’s father. Zero fucks given because in the end we are all bones.
More people should do that. Then maybe all of our rich and powerful wouldn’t be such gigantic, punchable dicktwats.
Wasn’t he in like a barrel? That he also used as a masterbatorium?
He only used it as a masterbatorium after getting caught jerking off in public one too many times. When asked about it, he is quoted as replying “If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly.”
A song I sang in high school choir, written by Rick Sowash:
The philosopher Diogenes lived in a tub in the marketplace. He owned the clothes on his back and a wooden cup. One fine morning, when he saw a man drinking out of his hands, he threw away the cup. Alexander the Great, when he came to Athens, he went down to the market place to see the philosopher Diogenes. As he was about to leave, he asked the philosopher Diogenes, “is there anything at all that I can do for you?” “Yes,” said Diogenes, “you can get out of my light.”
This meeting has an entire Wikipedia entry lol: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes_and_Alexander
I only remember that story because of Reign: The Conquerer.
What a fucking edgelord
Founder of cynicism and famously lived in a barrel. Certified based.
So just straight up Oscar the Grouch
Oscar was partially based on a rude waiter, so pretty much the same thing… most philosophers are waiters in real life…
Now that’s based.
i was never man enough to be a waiter
I thought he was based on homeless people so kids watching Sesame Street would have some exposure to irritable people that live on the streets.
The only man truly capable of Getting Over It.
I feel like “lived in a barrel” is probably one of those ancient history things that got exaggerated or was a straight up lie.
There’s no real way to prove the wine barrel part but it’s safe to assume he probably sheltered somewhere when it rained. Wine barrels were common and waterproof, so I would assume Diogenes watched a stray dog take shelter in an empty wine barrel and did the same based on his praise of dogs living by instinct combined with the simple practicality of finding shelter rather than making or paying for it.
Was Diogenes homeless?
Good question. Is he homeless because in our sense of the word he doesn’t own or belong to any house or particular dwelling?
Or is he not homeless because he chooses to live in the streets near the market in a barrel like the stray dogs he praises?
Cynics saw the dog as the greatest example of a virtuous life, hence the dog in the statue.
Well, their name comes from the greek word for dog, it only makes sense for this to be alluded to in a statue of Diogenes.
People referred to diogenes as a dog as a form of insult, but diogenes was like “YOU KNOW WHAT FUCKERS? THAT SHOE FUCKING FITS.” and then he called himself “Diogenes the dog”.
As you could maybe tell I may have paraphrased a bit. But who knows, I don’t speak old greek. I had latin in school.
Everybody acting like if he existed today he wouldn’t be villified for his actions
True, a publicly masturbating homeless person would not be popular
He wasn’t homeless.
He had a wine barrel.
Putting aside the public masturbation, which is an incredibly easy thing to completely write him off for, his thoughts would still not matter at all today.
He’d be considered a broken mind, not a thinking mind with reasons for his choices and actions.
His criticism of society would be expected, and ignored. But more significantly, he would not have been allowed his place of rest, and would be pestered and moved from place to place.
We make homeless people homeless by telling them they can’t stay where they are right now, they can’t rest there and they certainly can’t build a home there. And the most fun part is that we have people who will tell them that even if they go to the outskirts of our cities, all the way out along an empty road, or even deep into the forest. We have forest police to keep your ass moving, because in our world, you are allowed no land for free. It’s all ours. No matter how worthless the patch of dirt you picked is, you can’t have it. And what you think about that doesn’t matter.
One day when a few people were throwing bones at Diogenes as they would to a dog, he got up and urinated on them like a dog.
Certified savage
He was like the first famous troll
Noone mentions Sam O’Nella Academy’s introduction to Diogenes?
Well, I’m doing it then: Diogenes, the Publicly-Defecating Philosopher – 11 million viewers can’t be wrong!
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=-A3IlRATIsI&
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
You are doing the Lord’s work, good sir
Remember when base meant vulgar?
Pepperidge farm remembers.
Jerking off in public as Diogenes was known to do is pretty vulgar
“If only rubbing my belly could satisfy my hunger” or some shit he said when others confronted him about it
Diogenes cumming on people in public compilation.
I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean now?
Being unapologetically genuine. Not necessarily rude, but honest with your beliefs despite what others might think.
so based dude practically lived in the baseMENT
Boo. But still upvoted because I’m still laughing over the waiter thing.
i can take your boos, as long as there is laughter… i am The Grouch…
but there’s a pun in there, so it’s not just a slam… Diogenes resided in a basic MENTality that we admire, or something…
I think those jokes weren’t MEANT to be.
But since I also struggle sometimes with my dad jokes, here’s an upvote.
and in any case for Diogenes, a basement would have been luxurious
I saw this earlier today and I read it as “no place to sit but his face,” because reading are hard and no smart brain
[email protected] might be for you :)
It’s ironic that Digenes’s fanboys (like the fanboys of stoicism), use his example as a model to better integrate, cope, and succeed in postmodern late-capital society.
Modeling one’s self after Digenes without being homeless is like modeling oneself after Michael Jackson without being able to dance.
Digenes looks down from eternity and invites these posers to get fucking wrecked.
I think about, “behold, man” when anyone mentions Diogenes.
According to Diogenes Laërtius’ third-century Lives and Opinions of the Eminent Philosophers, Plato was applauded for his definition of man as a featherless biped, so Diogenes the Cynic “plucked the feathers from a cock, brought it to Plato’s school, and said, ‘Here is Plato’s man.’ ” When asked about the origin of his epithet, cynic deriving from the Greek word for dog, Diogenes replied that it was given to him because he “fawns upon those who give him anything and barks at those who give him nothing.”
Borrowed from: https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/animals/miscellany/plato-and-diogenes-debate-featherless-bipeds
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