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Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago

He remains at large

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He remains at large

Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago
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  • Kraven_the_Hunter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 months ago

    Where are all of the good toddlers with guns when you need them??

    • TheEEEdiot@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      Kinderguardians https://youtu.be/QkXeMoBPSDk?si=XIxasF5ow8pFfBgW

      • /home/pineapplelover@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        Funny and very disappointing at the same time how he got actual politicians to endorse training for 4 year olds to shoot bad guys.

  • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    guns don’t kill people, toddlers do

    • Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Arm the other toddlers.

      • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I have 3 words for you: Pay per view.

    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      It takes a child to raze a village.

      • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Lmao nice

      • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        an attack child

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      11 months ago

      As someone with 2 preschool aged kids I absolutely agree

  • ThrowawaySobriquet@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Jesus Fucking Christ! Someone do something about that toddler!

    • lolrightythen@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      That’s what the toddler wants.

      • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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        11 months ago

        If we change our way of life, the toddler wins.

        • lolrightythen@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Precisely. If we fight the toddler head on, we will die. If we acknowledge the superiority of said toddler, we will lose. Then die.

          “success in small businesses requires determination to stay the course”

          This applies to the big leagues as well. We endure as one. Raise them in the spirit of self defense until they join our tenuous society.

  • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Every sixty seconds, a woman in Britain gives birth. She. Must. Be. Exhausted.

    • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Why would she be exhausted when she has the machine that goes PING! After all it’s the doctors who do all the work since they’re the experts.

  • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
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    19 days ago

    deleted by creator

    • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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      11 months ago

      Her name is Maggie Simpson. Her name is Maggie Simpson.

  • username_unavailable@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Imagine what he’s going to be like when he hits his rebellious years.

    • Malfeasant@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Toddlers are plenty rebellious already, it’s just a different kind. Teenagers rebel against authority. Toddlers rebel against their own existence.

  • 0ops@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    He probably doesn’t remain that large, he is a toddler

    • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      He remains at small but growing rapidly

    • istanbullu@lemmy.ml
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      11 months ago

      He must have grown a lot in two years

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    11 months ago

    Just stop selling the kid ammo. Problem solved.

    • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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      11 months ago

      You say no to that cute little face!

      • OrgunDonor@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I would easily say no to his face… but he has a guna nd is willing to use it.

        • FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          He only uses it once a week though, so just catch him after his weekly kill

          • Malfeasant@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Yeah but that’s an average, you never know when he’s going to double up one week so he can take the next one off…

            • Gigagoblin@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              11 months ago

              “it’s always midnight somewhere.”

          • OrgunDonor@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            What if he got ill, or has an upcoming holiday and has to make up his quota? I am not sure I want to take that chance.

    • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      All I’m saying is that if bullets cost $5,000 I bet that toddler would have a hard time affording them

  • rickdg@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    The solution for a toddler with a gun is an adult with a gun. Or something. Idk, I’m not american.

    • tacosplease@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      You’ve got the spirit though

  • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    According to my quick search, it should be Not more than 5 years into the deaths by gun-wielding toddler surpass the deaths of 9/11.

    Edit: I was wrong. Here are the fruits of my research:

    Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year, would take until 2142 to surpass the 9/11 deaths

    Kids 12 and below: 40 deaths per year, would take until 2075 to surpass those deaths

    Children 17 and below, when counting accidents only, would take until 2029

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year

      Last I checked, there was more weeks than that in a year. Did those fuckers in HR go and change it?

      • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Shot vs deaths

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Ah ok, fair enough.

          Now that you mention it, it was pretty silly to expect the toddler to have a 100% kill rate lol

  • IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Article was published in 2017, and gun deaths among US kids has increased 50% since 2019.

    Original article: https://www.romper.com/p/a-toddler-has-shot-someone-every-week-for-the-last-2-years-straight-it-highlights-this-huge-problem-28266

    2023 update from a different gun research group: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/06/gun-deaths-among-us-kids-rose-50-percent-in-two-years/

    We live in hell.

    • cum@lemmy.cafe
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      11 months ago

      Glad to see their aim got better

    • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.eeOP
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      5 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • Samsy@lemmy.ml
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    11 months ago

    Lil John Wick is on a mission, I guess.

    • TastyWheat@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Adam Sandler in: Lil’ Wicky

      • Bgugi@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        WITH A FUCKIN’ CRAYON!

  • psycho_driver@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I look forward to his adolescence as a Fortune 500 CEO.

  • downpunxx@fedia.ioBanned from community
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    8 months ago

    deleted by creator

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