Edit: “getting closer to marriage” is about the whole journey starting from being completely single

Edit: if this shower thought is too confusing to be useful to you, then here is a quote that gives some of the same guidance, is simpler, less philosophical, but less broad: “Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come” - Mario Quintana

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    1 month ago

    In order to comment on this I ask that you please give me a clear and concise definition of what “your full earthly potential” is supposed to mean because I have no idea what you’re talking about

    • dullbananasOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      17
      ·
      1 month ago

      Love, courage, having a personality, etc.

      • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        19
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 month ago

        So, I see you’ve opted to give me vague words you think are “good” instead of answering my question… I don’t think I can give you any kind of informed opinion with so little to go on

  • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    23
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    This assume nobody can reach their potential unless they marry. And that’s bogus. Anyone can reach their potential without a partner. Having a family is irrelevant to your human potential and self-actualization. Even most religion would disagree with your idea considering most use chastity and isolation as a means to reach enlightenment.

    • dullbananasOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      13
      ·
      1 month ago

      This assume nobody can reach their potential unless they marry.

      In practice, my shower thought has nothing of value to those who are not on that path, but I gave this comment some thought anyway.

      Technically, reaching 100% of our earthly potential requires experiencing the highest level of earthly love and using our ability to reproduce. In practice, no one reaches 100%, and we probably can reach 99% without a spouse and kids.

      Even most religion would disagree with your idea considering most use chastity and isolation as a means to reach enlightenment.

      Since I’m Catholic, I believe that in a religious vocation, earthly things are given up for supernatural things. In my post, I said “earthly” to exclude religious vocations and Heaven.

      • LightSalty/TomatoBurger@feddit.dk
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 month ago

        What about polyamorous people? They can’t reach it without several spouses then. How many are enough? Will a polyamorous person increase their happiness asymptomatically for each person they become partners with? What about aromantic people that don’t desire romantic relationships?

        I for one think that my personal happiness ‘maximum’ can be increased with a spouse. But you really can’t make that judgement for others.

  • AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    1 month ago

    Define “earthly potential.” Genghis Khan killed like 40 million people. Dude had like 5 official wives and an unknown amount of concubines.

    • dullbananasOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      14
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      Properly moving closer to your full potential is how to get a girlfriend. Properly getting a girlfriend and moving closer to family life overall is a way to move closer to your full potential (in other words, living fully). They are the same actions The same actions constitute both.

      Edit: should have said “overall mindset” instead of “actions”

      • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        1 month ago

        You seem to have a very narrow view of what life can offer. There’s much more to life than just getting married and pumping out babies. That may be one person’s idea of “living fully” but it’s hardly applicable to every person in every scenario

        • dullbananasOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          7
          ·
          1 month ago

          The narrow view you’re talking about is bad for success in dating, so it’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about things like working on yourself, having your own life, being an interesting person, becoming more confident, etc.

          • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            1 month ago

            working on yourself, having your own life, being an interesting person, becoming more confident

            These are all things you can do when you’re single. Likewise there are plenty of married people with families who never accomplish these goals. Your need to connect everything to this arbitrary end goal of “starting a family” is what doesn’t make any sense. You keep trying to make an objective concrete declaration about things that are entirely subjective and really have no specific “correct” answer.

            • dullbananasOP
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              edit-2
              1 month ago

              My idea might make more sense if you don’t think of it as being connected to intentions. Also, it fails to describe what comes after marriage is reached.

              With that being said, I am not totally certain of how true my idea is.

  • AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 month ago

    Haha. Marriage is just the beginning. Not anywhere close to actualization. And if you have kids, you’ll realize you’re still at the beginning.

  • A_A@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    1 month ago

    There are many maximums in different types of potential for human beings :

    • just after birth, before 1-year-old, we are at a maximum in terms of number of neurons
    • there is another maximum in term of wisdom in the 50 to 80 years range.

    This maximum you hint about would be in terms of reproductive potential and attractiveness.

    • dullbananasOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 month ago

      The autism spectrum.

      Actually the main thing I’m on is a great adventure that started less than a year ago in which I built social confidence from scratch and recently figured out how to have balanced focuses when it comes to pursuing girls while still working hard enough to get out of my comfort zone.