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thorbot@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 2 years ago

Christian rule

i.imgur.com

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Christian rule

i.imgur.com

thorbot@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • RembrandtQEinstein@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I wouldn’t say ‘full’

    • thorbot@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      It’s called a brojob and it’s totally straight if your eyes are closed

      • Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        You should also wear socks just in case

    • Pinklink@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      I let you jerk me off, and you make fun of my tiny dick. Yeah sure, that seems fair

      • TheRedSpade@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Sorry, I thought you were into that.

  • ShartyWaffles@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    My hands are full of penis, and I’m already in heaven.

    • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      Imagine ejaculating out of all 10 of your handpenises simultaneously

  • Little1Lost@feddit.de
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    2 years ago

    that means womans have to get lesbians to avoid penises, got it

    • Nepenthe@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      Depending. Women jack off a hell of a lot after you roll over

      • diskmaster23@lemmy.one
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        2 years ago

        I like to help my lady after I finish. 🤌

  • Lissa@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    So female masturbation is still sanctified. Got it. Let me just go ahead and close the door and turn on this white noise machine…

  • Soundhole@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • thorbot@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      The Lord is Come

      • rbhfd@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Mark 9:13

        Jesus replied, “Elijah does indeed come, and he will restore all things. But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but have done to him whatever they wished. In the same way, the Son of Man will suffer at their hands.”

    • OutlierBlue
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      2 years ago

      That would be great. You’ll have 3 whole days to climb until he rises again.

  • darcy@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    They’ve apparently never met a one armed roofer.

    Shout out to my cousin Randy!

  • revlayle@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Large Adult@lemmy.loungerat.io
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      2 years ago

      crank that mf hog right up to the pearly gates

    • diskmaster23@lemmy.one
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      2 years ago

      Who is gonna be below me? Nobody. Gonna wank it all the way up.

  • Ryantific_theory@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    What if you wanted to go to heaven

    But god said “your hands are full of penis.”

  • yak@lemmy.ml
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    2 years ago

    40 days and 40 nights in the desert with no food and you reckon Jesus didn’t rub one out to lift his mood, yeah, OK

  • Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au
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    2 years ago

    Yes! Release first. The stickiness will help.

  • cooopsspace@infosec.pub
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    2 years ago

    Wait until the pedo priests head about this.

  • collegefurtrader@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 years ago

    It’s obviously satire, but still, maybe it isn’t

    https://stopmasturbationnow.org/weather/atmospheric-masturbatory-residue-at-unsafe-levels/

    • Programmer Belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 years ago

      I should stop boiling my semen, they are beginning to notice

    • AccountMaker@slrpnk.net
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      2 years ago

      Refrain, or course, from masturbation and excessive handling of the sex organs. A two shake limit during urination is in effect.

      I have a very very hard time believing that this is serious, but sadly I’m not fully convinced that it is not

    • BaconIsAVeg@lemmy.ml
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      deleted by creator

  • SteveXVII@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 years ago

    But what if you occasionally take a break from climbing the ladder to heaven, with your hands full of penis?

  • MrSilkworm@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    that’s why you take the stairway to heaven!

    • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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      2 years ago

      Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=QkF3oxziUI4&pp=ygUZc3RhaXdheSB0byBoZWF2ZW4geW91dHViZQ

      Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

      I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.

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