• elucubra@sopuli.xyz
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    3 days ago

    I’m a big, imposing, totally manly, ex-elite military, father, identifying as hetero, who has had the occasional man-crush. But as Robbie Williams said, can’t handle the whole “dick thing”

    I refuse to use labels. People are people. Period. It’s like classifying people by their preferred color.

    • vithigar
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      3 days ago

      I’m a much less imposing but also hetero male but this also more or less lines up with me as well.

      I’ve been of the opinion for a while that when faced with the idea that gender, as distinct from sexuality, is just a collection of social trappings, we’ve kind of gone in the wrong direction. Maybe I’ll get flak for this, but I largely agree with RuPaul’s take that gender and other identity stereotypes are absurd, and that it would be better to tear them down rather than affirm them or create increasingly specific labels to attach to people. A person’s gender doesn’t matter in the slightest to me with regard to my interactions with them, beyond the grammatical concern of using whatever their preferred pronoun is.

      Whether you’re male, or non-binary, or agender, or whatever else you might identify as, I couldn’t possibly give less of a shit, and I want to stress that I mean that in the most accepting possible way rather than in a dismissive one. What matters far more to me is that you are Eric, or Rebecca, or Alphonse, or elucubra. I care about who you are, not what you are.

      And maybe, maybe, if everyone was more accepting about a person’s individual identity and didn’t make a fuss about how they choose to present themselves we never would’ve seen all this importance attached to labelling people in the first place.

      • vivalapivo@lemmy.today
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        2 days ago

        abolish gender

        Years and years of therapy and I still do it: mansplain to women, compete with men. I understand that the gender is oppressive but I find it necessary to establish some form of understanding of the other before shaping it into something that looks like the person.

        • vithigar
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          2 days ago

          Agreed. Even if everyone is on the same page that wouldn’t happen overnight, but it really seems like we’ve just been further entrenching it rather than trying to move away from it.

      • knightly the Sneptaur@pawb.social
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        4 days ago

        Lol, nah. I’m long-haired, not-skinny, and moustashioed. I just need a couple more cup sizes to round out my curves and folks will start wondering if I’m a bearded lady or a be-tittied fella. XD

        • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Oh. I was gonna ask what you meant by “opposite kind of androgynous presentation”, and now I think I get it. So rather than expressing no specific gender, you seek to express all gender? To live at both poles of the spectrum at once?

          • knightly the Sneptaur@pawb.social
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            3 days ago

            Well, yes and no.

            In my personal perspective, gender is a multi-dimensional space in which the male and female archetypes represent the ends of just one spectrum of variation. Additional dimensions include (but are not limited to) masc/femme, cisgender/transgender, intersex/endosex, and genderless/genderfull.

            In that context, it’s easy to define myself as being closer to the opposite of agender folks than any of the other poles. If a kid asked us if I were a boy or a girl, rather than the “No” they’d give, I would answer “yes”.

              • knightly the Sneptaur@pawb.social
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                2 days ago

                That’s also valid! There’s a lot of space in 5D gender:

                On a scale of 0-10, then on the male/female axis I’m about a 5, masc/femme 3, inter/endo 4, cis/trans 9, and agender/genderfull 10

                But that’s way too complicated for most folks who’ve never been taught anything but binary gender.

                • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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                  2 days ago

                  Well for me I can be varying degrees of male/female or masc/female (not really sure what the difference is) without it necessarily affecting my feeling of the “opposite”. I’m also not quite sure what the inter/endo dimension is about. Otherwise I’m probably a 3.5-8 on the m/f dimensions, 5ish for trans/cis (no feeling for that tbh), and a 1-6 on the agender/genderfull dim.

                  I’m guessing the low values in the last dimension are causing the rest of it to be messed up.

        • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 days ago

          Also gonna need some very nice fabrics.

          A thing about nb fashion is that tailored outfots often emphasize gendered stuff. And someone competent should be able to emphasize whatever you want.

          You’d better end up with a flowy skirt and a top hat. Maybe some cool face jewelry and a cape.

          • knightly the Sneptaur@pawb.social
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            2 days ago

            Omg, right? I wish I could have started hormone therapy during high school, I’d have been such a hottie by the time I started college~.

    • astropenguin5@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Highly doubtful

      Even if you aren’t conventionally attractive, there are a hell of a lot of people out there, all with different tastes. There is almost certainly someone who finds you hot.

      And besides that, personality is more important anyways and someone definitely finds your personality hot :3

    • androidul@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      if you’re not hot, you gonna die, gotta keep it steady at ≈36°C and you should be fine