My neighbor is in her 70s. I’m in my late 20s and live in the apartment upstairs from her, so when it snows I like to help clean off her car/shovel out her parking spot. Today she tried to pay me after I helped her. I don’t want to accept the money, but want her to still feel comfortable asking for help/not feel like she’s taking advantage of me. How should I go about this? Maybe ask her for something small so she feels like she’s helping me too? It’s never any trouble helping her with the snow removal, it never takes more than half an hour

  • khannie@lemmy.worldEnglish
    12·
    14 hours ago

    I have an example and a suggestion.

    There’s an old lady living across the street from us. We’ve been living here for twenty years and her partner passed away there about two years ago. I want her to not feel alone and I know she really loves my beef stew (I honestly make a savage beef stew) so when I make some I get one of our kids (who she knows since they were born) to drop some over to her. She always drops back the bowl with like some fruit in it. I considered saying not to but I actually feel like she likes the reciprocity. Anyway if you get a nice smell coming from that lady’s place some day, drop that in to the conversation. She’ll remember and you’ll get some great food then there’s balance.

    Another way is for it to “just happen” in a silent way. Just say nothing after you’ve done it and gently refuse payment but put the kindness on her.

    “Oh no, I’m happy to do it. You’re very kind to offer but I absolutely couldn’t. Thank you though. You’re very kind.”

    That way she won’t feel indebted.

      • khannie@lemmy.worldEnglish
        8·
        13 hours ago

        Hahaha. I’m laughing here because immediately after posting I was like “shit… I’m going to be asked for that recipe” and it’s really late here but I’ll tell you what…I’ll fling it up tomorrow.

        The whole thing takes me a few hours and it’s quite involved but I get two dinners out of it for 7 humans when you include the lady across the street so it’s worth the effort.