• Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      44
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I agree with this. I have found that most women do not however. It has been a great trouble for me, to talk about, when trying to find a new partner.

      • twice_twotimes@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        43
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        This is pretty surprising to me. In my experience (as a woman myself) women are much more likely than men to be vocally supportive of treating sex work like any other service and of breaking the taboo of offering or receiving those services.

        I actually can’t think of any woman in my life who would judge someone negatively for seeing a sex worker (assuming full consent from all involved parties including partners). Most men I know would similarly have no issue with it, but a handful would read it as not being able to get laid and see that as something negative.

        My social circle isn’t representative of the general population, but I’m still surprised to hear your experience is dramatically different. I wonder if the way the conversations are going make the issue more about consent, cheating, or other non-sex-work-specific ethical questions.

        • Bitrot@lemmy.sdf.org
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          47
          ·
          1 year ago

          I have sometimes seen a phenomenon where people are very supportive of things until they are affected directly, and then they are supportive of those things in other people’s lives.

        • Today@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          9
          ·
          1 year ago

          I think more women would be understanding to men paying for sex than men would be to women paying for it.

            • Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              39
              arrow-down
              5
              ·
              1 year ago

              For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do

              • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                61
                arrow-down
                5
                ·
                1 year ago

                Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.

                I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.

                I never bring that up on dates.

                • DrQuint@lemm.ee
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  7
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  I can’t agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.

                  • ChrisLicht@lemm.ee
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    9
                    arrow-down
                    3
                    ·
                    1 year ago

                    Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.

                    I’ve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.

              • TheActualDevil@sffa.community
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                1 year ago

                Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I’ve mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it’s bad but because it doesn’t matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don’t need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it’s something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.

                It sounds like you don’t think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn’t bring it up unless it’s something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it’s not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you’ve ever bought at restaurants?

              • jayemar@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                5
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                The fact that you need to “disclose” this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it

            • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              18
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              1 year ago

              OP’s out there on first dates asking if they have a problem with him doing it…

              I can’t imagine women are bringing it up

              • Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                13
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                1 year ago

                Not necessarily first dates. I just answer truthfully when the topic comes up. I don’t want to have it be a problem further down the line

                • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  17
                  arrow-down
                  3
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  I just answer truthfully when the topic comes up

                  It’s just really hard to believe a women asks if you’ve had sex with a sex worker…

                  Most people don’t ask for numbers, let alone details.

                  • Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    13
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    1 year ago

                    It has unfortunately come up before, hence my aprehension in approaching the topic.

                  • SpaceCadet@sopuli.xyz
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    6
                    ·
                    1 year ago

                    It’s just really hard to believe a women asks if you’ve had sex with a sex worker…

                    I’ve been asked that question, and not just one time, so I believe OP that it can sometimes come up.

                  • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    3
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    1 year ago

                    I ask my partners because I do not want to be with someone who pays for sex. Simply because our views on sex would be very different which leads to problems in the relationship, from my experience. Also, it would be quite dumb to lie on this because than we are both just wasting our time.

      • NightAuthor@beehaw.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        1 year ago

        I think the issue is the portrayal of the types of men who use such services in media. They’re usually not good people.