This is so mind numbingly fucking stupid. I have linguistics training and my dickhead uncle tried to pull this one on me. He’s never tried to flex his grammar on me since.

Next time this shit happens to you, try this trick.

In the above question, the word “can” could be interpreted in one of two senses.

• One is the deontic sense, which denotes permission or approval.
• The other is the epistemic sense, which denotes capability.

As a competent English speaker, you will easily infer that vampire is using the deontic “can”.

The confusion seems to derive from the recipient’s inability to understand that modals in English grammar can possess different senses depending on context.

It is worth noting that the deontic “can” has been documented in writings for hundreds of years. It is a normal and standard element of English grammar. Case in point: the idiot trying to flex on you knows what you mean but they’re pretending they don’t.

It’s not my problem that you don’t understand basic English grammar. Maybe you should go read a few books and educate yourself.