More dataisdepressing than dataisbeautiful

      • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        I’m pretty sure women don’t want to date people who have any sort of disposition that leans towards hating them or believing that women are lesser than men.

        Unfortunately, a lot of men learned that way of thinking early in life(from family and/or media) and it ruins any attempt at a relationship, then they blame women and run to the very people who set them up to fail for validation, or find new ones like that sex trafficker with the pizza boxes, or that canadian psychologist who sugar coats sexism online. Repeat ad nauseum.

        • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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          2 months ago

          I have an old high school friend who is very much into the whole Andrew Tate thing. His parents were separated, I don’t know the details as to why, but I do know that his father was a lot more stable than his mother, and I do sometimes wonder if he had lived with his father, if he would have turned out better.

          He also thinks the earth is flat because… otherwise a ball would roll off a table. QED.

          So not exactly firing an all cylinders to begin with.

          • Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz
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            2 months ago

            “Divorced dad energy” is one of those meme things that everyone likes to make fun of when a dude does anything, but no one likes to address that same poison when divorced moms act like fools.

            My mother would drag me to various groups that would absolutely shit on “men” constantly, and I got to hear that constantly. It was weird growing up in that environment, but luckily for me it was before the redpill trash all over the internet. Managed to find some good friends in high school

          • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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            2 months ago

            That’s a interesting point. My mother was substantially more mentally stable when I was a child then when my siblings were born.

            • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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              2 months ago

              Didn’t he recently lose his license to practice because he was saying bullshit that no real psychiatrist would agree with?

            • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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              2 months ago

              Didn’t he recently lose his license to practice because he was saying bullshit that no real psychiatrist would agree with?

      • DancingBear@midwest.social
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        2 months ago

        In the age of social media I imagine people are actually a lot more antisocial than we used to be…. And if young men and young women are all online more now and actually go out to interact in person less than we used to, this would make it a lot more difficult for young men to interact with the young women long enough to ask them out….

        • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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          2 months ago

          Online is heavily skewed in women’s favor unfortunately. I had a female coworker that had 100+ matches on bumble and kept complaining how hard it was too keep track of. She wasn’t even very pretty and she had an empty pot for head. Meanwhile male coworkers really struggle. No surprise This will make some males bitter and lash out. Even if they do find a partner Worst part is if the social skills are bad it is a bad relationship. I hope we are not seeing a universe 25 style collapse.

          • DancingBear@midwest.social
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            2 months ago

            I wasn’t specifically talking about online dating, but women are generally more desired by men than vice versa, whether online or in person.

            I can’t imagine online dating to be useful than for more than a handful of people in my opinion.

            I was more saying since we are all online more, we are all interacting in person a lot less, which allows for more organic interactions…

            • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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              2 months ago

              Yeah I agree. Wanting to Go back the good old days is what is causing this trend. Though Realistically all the social skills in the world won’t bag you the girl if you are average right now. I knew a few coworkers that wouldn’t even talk to a guy unless he was a 666 man. 6 figures, 6 feet, 6 pack. No surprise they are single. I wonder if their POV changed overtime, they were in early 20s at the time. I know my old roommate lowered her standards super hard over 30 to bag a husband.

                • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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                  2 months ago

                  The Sample size is rather small from personal experience. I am curious if such data exists.

                  • DancingBear@midwest.social
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                    2 months ago

                    I don’t think I understand what you are saying. Data does exist.

                    Taller men are generally seen as more attractive.

                    Wealthier people, or people who pay attention to the latest trends in general are seen as more attractive.

                    Healthy and fit people are generally seen as more attractive.

                    All of this is true, but so what. If someone is hyper focused on getting a man or woman to be with them who has these or other specific physical and / or socioeconomic traits, isn’t that for them to decide?

                    If you only want to date women who have been on the covered of the sports illustrated swimsuit edition, isn’t that your choice also?

                    What’s your point?

          • DancingBear@midwest.social
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            2 months ago

            I can’t remember which app it was, but I tried online dating over a decade ago. I noticed I wasn’t getting very many responses to any messages I sent out, and it was basically after saying yes to everyone and I had spent some time on the app, so I got to the point where I just messaged everyone a generic opener….

            I talked to my female roommate at the time and I got a couple generic photos of her, she was a young mid 20’s woman who was very pretty but idk average for a young beautiful woman.

            I created a new profile for myself, and also a second profile for her, I let her choose the most attractive photos of me and I chose some dorky not very attractive but still cute I guess photos of her….

            She had ten messages before we were even able to upload the first photo after just creating the account.

            This doesn’t mean that she got messages from guys who were someone she would consider dating. It just means she got a lot of messages. I think guys don’t realize how many messages the women get. They have to wade through hundreds of “hi how are you doing” messages before they can even start a conversation. Whereas the guys have to send out messages that are unique and capture the attention of ladies to get a conversation started. Neither is ideal, it’s just how it is

            • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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              2 months ago

              That’s very true and likely why she felt so overwhelmed. No one is really winning. She would have had a really good match in there but drowned in a sea of options.

              • DancingBear@midwest.social
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                2 months ago

                In this case we only left the app open for a couple hours that afternoon before we deleted it, but it’s just anecdotal evidence that show if we are specifically talking about online dating the problems are just as bad for either sex if we are talking about cis heteronormative relationships

                • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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                  2 months ago

                  A really sad point. Though I think drowning in option is better for self esteem than 0. If males had plenty I doubt we would see such a trend.

      • Gamma@beehaw.org
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        2 months ago

        Hagmaxxing…? Do you hear yourself? None of this is based on reality.

        Edit: oh you’ve already been removed on another instance, nice