Interesting variation on the rule “All regulations are written in blood”.
These ones are written in formaldehyde.
I think maybe there wasn’t any more blood at this point.
Over my cold dead body!
I think this funeral home will be completely ok with that
FYI the funeral business is pretty much a duopoly, two companies control it and jack up prices. It’s sickening.
That is why my goal is to die in the woods and get eaten by a bear. Cheaper and sustainable.
I have no family left so I am rolling for somewhere inconvenient and in massive unrecoverable debt.
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That’s so evil, and truly beautiful.
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Your enemy figures out a loop hole and discovers since they are responsible for your corpse, they can do what they want. So they turn you into an anal sex doll for those on the local sex offender registry.
That’ll make you immortal at least. You’ll be on weird news and weird fact YouTube videos for generations to come. Being brought back up every 10 year cycle when new young ones discover the internet. Most of can only dream of being as immortal as 2 girls 1 cup, lemon party, mom with the good hands, etc.
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If you start having severe chest pain, simply drive as quickly as possible to the nearest business you have issue with, stumble in and say “you did this” before collapsing dramatically.
I too pick the bear
Just throw my body in the trash
Oh, not in Colorado! It’s just Bob the random doing it to be weird and creepy. Few years back, animal crematoriums were caught combining animals and other shenanigans. Death is apparently bizarre here.
Edit: also, coroners are messed up too here.
A generation ago, most funeral homes were mom-and-pop places, often in the business for generations; think “6 Feet Under” if you ever watched it.
Like most other industries, they have now mostly been eaten up by conglomerates that have no connection to the community and only care about the bottom line. Companies like the $10-billion Service Corp Int’l or Assurant, Inc. (which literally sound like 90s TV villains) have wrecked the industry.
It’s an expensive thing that most people will only use once or twice in their lifetime (the family makes the decisions more often that the deceased). It is an area in which most people are ignorant, so they just sort of trust that the people providing the service are doing what they say. If you’ve never paid for a coffin, you probably have no idea what one costs. You don’t know the difference between a good one and a bad one. So imagine an industry where the customer is usually in a mentally vulnerable state, has little to no information, little ability to make a price comparison, is ready to spend thousands of dollars, and will never inspect or verify the product.
Now add that it is a multibillion dollar industry and you can appreciate how easy and how enticing it is for big companies to drive out the family businesses. Those sort of practices also pressure small operations to operate dishonestly in order to compete, and create room for fraudsters to muscle in.
I don’t care if you are having your ashes spread in the ocean or shot into space, or if you are donating your body or being buried in a cardboard box. Find a local, family owned funeral home, set an appointment. They can help you with whatever your plans are.
15 year funeral director here. I’ve worked for both “mom and pop” local funeral homes and a corporate funeral home. I can unequivocally tell you the local ones are some of the most corrupt, greedy places I’ve ever worked for. Charging $15k for funerals, adjusting prices based on what they feel like they can get away with, all while raking in lots of money and paying the staff less than minimum wage after factoring in the expectation of being on call.
I’ve watched owners manipulate grieving widows into buying caskets they can’t afford “because your husband deserves the best.”
I went two months without a day off, all while trying to take care of a newborn, and when I tried to take a day off because I was so exhausted I couldn’t drive safely, I was given tons of grief.
Everything else you said is completely true though. The entire industry is completely corrupt and needs to be dismantled.
Wow, thanks for that. So, what do you recommend about finding a good one?
I’ve seen a lot of people put off finding one or just using whoever shows up first on Google - and often they are worse off for it. I’ve always lived in cities and been involved in the kind of communities where I have a relationship with high quality directors.
Reputation is key. As you touched upon, nothing short of hearing from others what they went through helps as much.
Like you said, a lot of people wait until they need the service before they think about it. This is usually at the worst time in a person’s life, so emotions are high. It’s best to, at minimum, think about what you would want to have done ahead of time. At the last place I worked, I specialized in helping people pre-arrange services. The whole idea is to put your wishes down so it’s one less thing for your family to worry about. I personally preferred it since it was a much lower pressure situation since no one had to purchase anything at the time, unless they chose to pre-pay, which is strictly optional.
I’ve always looked for directors that are honest (duh) and forthcoming to families on what things are without pushing higher end items. For example, explain the difference of a sealer casket vs an unsealed casket, without using emotional language like: “you don’t want mom drowning in water, right?” Barring not knowing anyone that can give you a recommendation, Google and Yelp are your best friends. It just takes a bit of forethought and looking at what the reviewer is saying. We all have seen the insane reviews that don’t have any bearing in reality.
“Oh they will self regulate, we don’t need government regulations!”
At what point is it more “work” to just do the wrong thing instead of what people are paying for? Also if people were already embalmed, why wouldn’t you just put the body in the casket (since you don’t embalm ppl for cremation)? Or do the “cremate everything” route I’ve read of other places getting in trouble for? At least it’s not having to stack bodies in a room that the article describes as basically hell on earth.
Well they were selling body parts so maybe more work but more money too.
Sounds like more reason to burn “the evidence” (aka cremate) afterwards. Not sure how staking bodies in a building is a long term solution. I guess when you’re the kind of person that can do that to people grieving, you’re also not too bright.
Normally I’d say what the fuck, but I think we’re beyond that. Holy shit, this is fucked up.
When do we get a trust buster back in office that actually can break up every industries bullshit?
Given the Roberts Court’s regard of Chevron and creation of the Major Question Doctrine, never. We’re going the other way.
You mean like Lina Khan?
Didn’t know of her before this but yes. Sadly she’s not American born though. So no prez run possible lol
I’m just thinking about how much space nearly two hundreds bodies takes up.
Less and less over time
Average human is .062 cubic meters so if you ground up 200 bodies you could fit the slurry into 12.4 cubic meters.
Either toss my ass in a dumpster or give me a sky burial. No exceptions.
I only have 2 wishes.
- I want my remains scattered through Disney world
- I don’t want to be cremated
Sounds like that would make for a horrifying scavenger hunt
How about tossed in a dumpster that’s then lobbed at the moon using a pile of grandad’s m80s?
How did the owners/directors even stand being in there? 🤢
They went there for a quick lunch. They prefer the softer meats.
