That was me. Used to rank first. Good in dance and sports. Then puberty and poverty happened. Started developing issues with concentration. No friends, no partners. No money to move out, no job as well. Just a stupid degree.
Literallt going down the same path rn. Wouldn’t you have felt (wrongly) incompetent/unprepared if you had moved out without getting your degree? Because that’s how I would feel although its logically not true
Swap “mental health” for “drugs I did” and it’s spot-on
Why not both
Yeah turns out that is a thing with mental illness.
When you spend all day fighting your own brain, you get tired, and want something to numb you.
Or at least take the spiky parts of life and dull them.
YoU hAvE sO mUcH PotEntIaL combined with YouR WasTiNg Yor LifE wItH yOur WronG HobBys.
This shit destroyed me. Never had an ounce of a fuck given when I did something cool or interesting.
Hell, I made some shitty ass games as a kid just learning stuff on my own. The answer was not “cool” or “good job” or “tell me more”. It was “get a fucking life”, or “oh… ok…”, or “your wasting your life”. Can’t imagine why I lost all passion, can’t get my self out of bed, and don’t have any friends.Now I got some shitty IT job and my parents are wondering why I won’t go back to school or JuSt ApPlY at Google. Can’t imagine I got to undo 20 years childhood trauma, and have some damn alone time.
Sounds like it was their fault. A kid isn’t meant to account for anything more complex than the food they eat, and even that’s optional.
Well you could be all those things and never have had the support of anyone but yourself with only comments on your seeming failures and you will still be upset with yourself cause it’s the only one who really matters.
I do think a decade of trying to claw out of a hole of external circumstances is enough to tire anyone out and yet it still will leave you disappointed even when no one is around to call you out on it.
Described exactly my situation. I am so angry with my enviroment. The amount of people who let down my younger self is outrageous. I’m livid as if my past self were my own kid.
Absolutely not!
It’s 12 minutes to 2AM.
2 AM
THOSE ARE SOME ROOKIE NUMBERS
Why do you have to come out swinging for the vitals?
They’re aren’t people whose approval I value. I disappoint no one with my catastrophic failure of a life.
How about yourself?
Or do you not value that either?
