I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.
I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.
These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.
As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.
I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?
The older you get, the more you are in your head because of all the responsibilities weighing you down.
I think learning to let go and meditation is the way to go, so we can be more in the moment and appreciate the environment around us.
This is definitely part of it. I could be appreciating the bright yellow of budding flowers on trees, but im also in the middle of making sure lunch is on time, we have food for lunch, my car is parked legally, i havent forgotten anything important at work… Responsibilities take over brain space when its you in charge of maintaining peace