First thing? Probably panic. Second thing? Probably try to wake myself up. Third thing? Probably try to find some rational way that I just got isekai’ed as a billionaire.
After it finally sank in, I’d probably consider lobbying for things before I lose touch with where I used to be. Right to repair, universal healthcare, UBI, etc…
American billionaire (1000 millions) or European billionaire (1 million millions)?
Well if he woke up obviously the first stab didn’t kill him so I’d stab him again.
start a gameshow that has three contestants that have to run while five people hunt them down. the whole time they’re running from the hunters people on the streets can turn them in for a reward.
when they’re finally caught, we kill them live on air.
paying lobbyists to right for right to repair and privacy laws in the US, and bringing data brokers and patent trolls into never ending litigation.
You’d be fighting against other billionaires with established lobbying connections. I feel like you’d blow your billions and have nothing to show for it.
I think with a billion and a push for public support it would be doable.
Maybe pay 500 musicians (generally my choice of music) x $20/hr x 3000 hours (about 1.5 person-years) (= $30 million) to write and record anything they want, but it has to be original and released into the public domain.
Exceptions could be made for derivatives of music already in the public domain.
Occasionally I might check on them for if they are composing, or composing and recording; and originality.
I might pay for novelty songs such as hard rock and heavy metal on horns; Suicide’s Ghost Rider but replace synths with tuba and harmonica; nonagenarian socialist to do Kid Rock’s Bawitdaba; Trump and Epstein look-a-likes do Nugent’s Little Miss Dangerous; etc.
Take biggest loan(s) and sell everything I own. Buy big storage space with wall full of leaf blowers and blow the money for the rest of my life.
Turn my country the fuck around so that public servants represent people and decisions are made to improve the lives of people.
First thing?
Probably buy my wife something nice.
Next, I would love to upgrade and spoil the homeless shelter behind my work. I always fantasize about being able to afford food, socks and blankets to distribute.
First selfish thing? Build a new computer.
Sorry about your parents…
1010 mountain bikes, 1000 to give away; a canoe; a little propeller-driven Cessna airplane; and a good non-Telsa non-Chinese electric car without the electronic-digital-internet-AI-bullshit frills might bring more and better satisfaction.
I’d quit my job, buy a small house for my partner and I and give enough to my family that they wouldn’t have to worry about money again.
With the rest, I’d set up a trust that donates 1% per year in microgrants to free software maintainers who apply to it. Similar to NLnet, but with no strings attached beyond continuing to maintain the project.
Then, with all my free time, I’d also work on free software.
Destroy capitalism by out competing everyone.
Build out swathes of affordable housing/mixed use properties in large enough numbers to drive down the prices city wide.
Buy politicians.
Look into my pants to see if my d shrunk even more.
Probably yell WOOHOO.
Next is quit my job.
A new off-grid house. We have a lot of power outages here every winter.
An older used car (I want nothing to do with a new car which are basically rolling spyware).
Start helping the worse off in my area such as the homeless and those living below the poverty line.
You are a billionaire you can custom design a new car with no spyware using reliable parts from other large brands
Very true but that will take time, months at a minimum.
