Just bad advice we give all middle schoolers. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.

My point is, everyone pretends an AR-15 is some high powered ultra mega death cannon. It’s a small bore rifle. It genuinely was adopted because it’s easy to teach the average Vietnam era draftee how to use it. It’s honestly no more threatening than the 9mm pistol every last beat cop wears on his hip every second of every shift. They’re both guns in the hands of maniacs.

I’m 38 years old. The last time I remember having a good time at a movie theatre was Inglourious Basterds, and if the movies require effort to glean enjoyment out of it I hope I never see a movie again in my life. Used to be you could look up what’s playing at the 4-plex and there’d usually be something fun on. That hasn’t been the case since the last time I felt an emotion and I don’t think either thing is ever going to happen again so fuck it.

So is a Toyota Corolla.

No seriously, why did any of you continue to give a shit about Marvel after, like, 2006? That was about the time I realized I lost track of how many Incredible Hulk movies they made, and I would learn later that’s when my interest in movies overall died because that’s all they would ever make ever again

Enough firepower to gravely harm a 10 year old. Makes a realistic pow sound when discharged.

I mean, what’s wrong with the sintered metal brake pads that have been the industry standard for longer than I’ve been alive?

There’s bound to actually be free candy in one of those damn unmarked vans.

The AR-15 is a .22 caliber rifle designed by John Browning to sell in large quantities to governments. It’s the rifle so simple that even the average US Marine can operate it. It’s got all the stopping power you need for your next trip to the nearest middle school.

I mean…isn’t that what happens even if they actually are on the government payroll?

Okay I suppose force vegetables to be vegetables. I’m honestly to burned out to give the first two half-flaccid thrusts of a reluctant pity fuck about basically anyone.

The intro sequence completely slapped though. A Wright Model A taking off, Glamorous Glennis rolling away, OV-101 Enterprise being pushed out of the hangar, the Spirit of St. Louis taxiing out, Saturn V’s launching, LM Eagle’s gear check, Actual footage of Sojourner rover rolling up to sample a Martian rock making this the first sci-fi show to feature footage actually filmed on another planet, Bruce McCandless’ untethered spacewalk from Discovery, the International Space Station taking shape…it’s a shame an intro that fucks that hard was wasted on Bakula’s Enterprise.

“We’ve built a new kind of apparatus and we are going to god damn mother fucking learn something even if it kills us in a new and exotic way.”

So…Remember the X-Men series of movies? I forget which of the films it was, I stopped giving a shit about superhero movies a decade before it was cool, but one of them involved a “mutant cure.” Most of Professor X’s mutants saw it as an existential threat, but Rogue–whose ‘powers’ utterly sucked–saw it as something she wanted to do.

Ultimately I think the key here is individual consent. Yes and No need to be equally valid answers otherwise it gets pretty fucked up.

Some folks make a pretty good living for themselves looking at the world slightly differently than everyone else, other folks would like to do something with their life other than drool. Surely we the civilization that can split the atom and splice the genome can help both of these people live their best lives? Otherwise what the fuck are we even doing here?

Y’all, I just got my replacement tooth, so I’m finally off my mechanical diet, and I’ve been waiting months to eat some hard shell TACOS! Some SPICY CHICKEN TACOS!

The first video game I ever played was a Lode Runner clone for the IBM PC called Freddy’s Rescue Roundup.

Same setup, same results. I do intentionally keep the resolution low though.

Nah, that one is going to be emblematic of this period. In 2035 they’re going to look back at videos from 2024 and hear all the skibidi and cringe the same way we do looking back at 2006 and hearing “FAIL!” every other word.

Every cohort of kids will have their slang and in-jokey vocabulary, a very small part of which will be entered permanently into the lexicon. I’d like to nominate “rizz” as this generation’s contribution.

Thing is it isn’t a fancy vacuum. It’s a Shop Vac brand shop vac, a motor, an impeller, a plastic bucket and plastic casters.