Don’t ask don’t tell failed because the stigma of being different forces you into silence and trying to conform.

Do I want to hear if you’re a “top” or a “power bottom”? No. I don’t want to hear about anyone’s bedroom preferences.

That doesn’t mean that I want you to never talk about your significant other, regardless of their gender.

You can separate bedroom preferences from love preference, and the inability to do so speaks pretty loudly about how you view your own relationships.