Pugjesus, Iām not directing this at you, itās more an opportunity to express this stuff when it isnāt coming up in a community where this discussion isnāt disruptive. This C/ is usually okay with discussion about the subject of a meme, so Iām taking the shot while itās fresh in my mind.
Look, in an ideal setting, this wouldnāt be an issue because blahaj could wall itself off and be the trans dedicated space it needs to be.
Unfortunately, lemmy is not only difficult to use that way, but thereās still a need to interact with outsiders because thereās a war on. They need allies to have access, the users to be able to interact with other instances, and for trans people on other instances to be able to interact there.
Theyāre going to fuck up because thereās no way to make all of that work without admin oversight being high. Thereās always going to be human error, biases, and outright moments of emotional decisions. It happens everywhere.
But we gotta be realistic here. When blahaj admins fuck up, theyāre fucking up because they represent a populace thatās under attack from the outside and the inside. Thereās a dozen topics that simply arenāt one sided, which means any of those topics needs judgement calls.
Those of us that arenāt blahaj users can STFU and mind our own when it comes right down to it, because it isnāt our space. That goes for me too, if I end up banned for something I say elsewhere. Our trans compatriots fucking deserve a space where they can work this kind of thing out, even if that means a lot of mistakes along the way.
And the admins of blahaj are making mistakes. So are some of the users. The questions are, what are those mistakes, which users, and how can there be an objective decision as to whatās the best path? I sure donāt have a right to decide those things for blahaj, so my opinions are essentially farting in the wind. All I can do is support the trans community as a whole, and hope that blahaj finds a balance that allows the users and admins to have a space that is as free of interference and hate as is possible in this fucked up world.
Now, while preemptive bans are a damn difficult tool to use well, they are a valid tool. I personally wouldnāt have used them in every case thatās shown up on the various C/s about mod/admin actions, but I also donāt have access to everything an admin would. There may be reasons I canāt see. But I would have used it in a few of those cases. I prefer preemptives to be a scalpel rather than a scythe, but sometimes you have to cut.
One of these days, Iāll finish up my thinking on the whole xenogender aspect of things, and maybe what I end up with as an opinion will get me banned from blahaj if/when I share it somewhere. If thatās the case, Iāll be sad because I genuinely love the people there, and I love the community. But if thatās whatās needed to keep that society community and those people able to have their own space in a world thatās trying to literally eradicate them, so be it.
Wars never happen without harm to real people, and a lot of the war against trans people is a war waged with words and ideas. So neutering the words of war being able to besiege the instance seems like a worthy strategy to me.
Unfortunately, lemmy is not only difficult to use that way, but thereās still a need to interact with outsiders because thereās a war on. They need allies to have access, the users to be able to interact with other instances, and for trans people on other instances to be able to interact there.
So they choose to alienate allies and drive around trans people on other instances from the Fediverse entirely for wrongthink?
That seems counterproductive.
Theyāre going to fuck up because thereās no way to make all of that work without admin oversight being high. Thereās always going to be human error, biases, and outright moments of emotional decisions. It happens everywhere.
Okay, so when is it no longer acceptable? Is it decided that they just get a total pass for all behavior because itās a trans-friendly space, so long as youāre trans in a way that agrees with the mob mentality? If you arenāt, of course, then youāre a transphobe and a fascist.
Those of us that arenāt blahaj users can STFU and mind our own when it comes right down to it, because it isnāt our space.
It seems that Blahaj doesnāt regard its space as having any borders.
Our trans compatriots fucking deserve a space where they can work this kind of thing out, even if that means a lot of mistakes along the way.
Apparently, not all trans compatriots are deserving.
And the admins of blahaj are making mistakes. So are some of the users. The questions are, what are those mistakes, which users, and how can there be an objective decision as to whatās the best path?
So, what, donāt criticize Blahaj, donāt point out anything negative they do, just let them do what they want because thereās no āobjectivelyā correct answer? That wouldnāt fly for any other community or admin team. Why here?
I sure donāt have a right to decide those things for blahaj, so my opinions are essentially farting in the wind. All I can do is support the trans community as a whole, and hope that blahaj finds a balance that allows the users and admins to have a space that is as free of interference and hate as is possible in this fucked up world.
And when the community on Blahaj harasses trans users off the Fediverse entirely for wrongthink? Is supporting Blahaj then supporting the trans community?
Now, while preemptive bans are a damn difficult tool to use well, they are a valid tool. I personally wouldnāt have used them in every case thatās shown up on the various C/s about mod/admin actions, but I also donāt have access to everything an admin would. There may be reasons I canāt see. But I would have used it in a few of those cases. I prefer preemptives to be a scalpel rather than a scythe, but sometimes you have to cut.
I think youāre going way out of your way to justify what you realize are, visibly, bad decisions.
Wars never happen without harm to real people, and a lot of the war against trans people is a war waged with words and ideas. So neutering the words of war being able to besiege the instance seems like a worthy strategy to me.
By waging a war of words against trans folk who donāt believe ācorrectlyā in other instances entirely?
The formatting makes it hard for me to follow, so apologies if/when I fuck up
As best as I can pick up, youāre saying that, overall, you feel that the decisions being made on an admin level are divisive and harmful. That part of why that is, is because it draws a hard line about acceptable beliefs, particularly when voiced.
AND, that when those actions/decisions are being applied away from their own instance, that it crosses a line.
Secondary to that, you believe that it has/will cross over into the very kind of fascism thatās warring against trans people in the first place.
Like I said, the formatting is fucking with my ability to interpret things because my brain likes to not see words right even on the best days. Iām going to go forward with the above as my assumptions, and if Iāve missed something, or Iām just wrong in my assumption of your meaning, please correct me because I donāt have anyone available to read the sections that Iām having trouble seeing right, it isnāt me being obtuse or anything. Well, no more obtuse than normal for me.
My response to that is that you have a point, a valid point. It is always dangerous to split a populace against itself, even in the name of preserving that populace.
However, in parsing the actions of admins, itās important to look at what their goals are, and what the principle is that theyāre fighting for.
It comes back to the neopronouns/xenopronouns debate. Thatās really where and when these preemptive bans have occurred, at least that Iāve run across.
Let me approach things a little backwards from how I usually do.
I have changed my opinion about neopronouns in general, to a stance that more closely matches the policy of blahaj; that in general respecting someoneās pronouns is fundamental to the fight for trans rights. Itās only one aspect, but itās a core aspect because it relates to the entirety of how everyone relates to and thinks about gender.
The problems on blahaj started not with basic, widely known neopronouns. It started once people started using individualized pronouns, akin to me wanting my pronoun to be āsouthā, or āsamā. Some of those neopronouns are a type of neopronoun called xenopronouns.
My opinion of neopronouns as a whole used to be that they are a problem because theyāre just too confusing, and are too arbitrary, and that they are (because of that) harmful to the trans rights efforts. Kind of a āwrong fight, wrong timeā thing.
The reason I changed my opinion is that pronouns are something placed on us by external powers. Like gender, they are assigned to us. While having they/them as an option for people that donāt align with masc/fem binaries is a good thing, the fact that itās still imposed by external powers means that the concept itself is part of the structure of oppression.
Neopronouns, like xe/xer/xhem, address that in one way, and itās an important thing that we consider them, and a vital thing that when someone is saying āhere, these are generic words that satisfy the needs of English grammar, but respect my differencesā. That concept is largely the first big wall that the fight hits. āWhat, how dare you change my language?ā āYouāre forcing your beliefs on me, you transism crazy!ā
So, if I, as an ally, canāt at least try to follow that concept, am I really an ally?
But then we hit the second wall, individualized pronouns. Respecting those is a shit ton harder because they arenāt generic. You have to remember each one for each person. Thatās a much higher and harder ask. Youāre going to run into people that canāt keep track, even if theyāre willing. Youāre asking not for a few new words, but for retraining peopleās entire language pathway in their brain. Neurologically, itās easier to learn a new language than to rebuild years or decades of the patterns of a learned language that have āetchedā pathways in the brain, physically.
So, is it worth fighting for? Well, my previous opinion was hell no. It has changed to a qualified yes. See, the fight for trans rights is not a single offensive. Trans people are attacked at multiple levels, and thus the tools used, and the defensive strategies have to be multi-front as well. It is still my opinion that it is a much lower priority in general. However, when youāre trying to create a space where people are supposed to be away from the fight, where theyāre supposed to be at least off the front lines, can you really ignore that individualized pronouns are just as valid and important as generic neopronouns?
I donāt think you can, and thatās been the stance of blahaj administration. And that is divisive. Itās causing strife for anyone and everyone that doesnāt agree with respecting those neopronouns because theyāre individualized. But, if you donāt take the stance that every individual must have their pronouns respected, youāre allowing strife and division by allowing the fight behind your lines.
So, now the admins are in the fight. They have limited choices for those in their camp. They either fight for a core right: to be recognized and respected, or they refuse to fight for that right and abandon those for whom the language is most hurtful for.
They made their choice. They decided it was the right fight to have. The implemented an in-instance rule, and enforced it.
But, they arenāt in a fort. Theyāre in a city, and cities donāt have gates these days. So they canāt stop people from attacking behind their lines without building gates (aka defederating), or instituting border guards that prevent known and suspected enemies from entering. They went on the offensive, applying bans to people that werenāt in their city, effectively telling the guards not to let those individuals in.
This is, again, a dangerous tactic. It is one that risks internal rebellion and increased external attacks. But, it is an effective tactic. If done right, not only will those individuals no longer be let in, but others will have to consider whether or not they want in as well. They become aware, via posts like this one, that it is a war, and that they will fight. And, that they donāt care where you are, if you fuck with their people even indirectly, you arenāt welcome.
Thatās a powerful thing. Looking at it from the outside, itās brilliant, if they intended even part of that. I donāt know their intent, it could be pure spite, but it looks looks like someone not fucking around.
The trans people that should be safe there, but arenāt because they object to individualized pronouns? Thatās a problem because they deserve a space thatās as fiercely defended. Theyāre left out in the cold, so to speak, since thereās only one other instance thatās titularly trans safe, and itās pretty well despised and defederated.
But now, they do have the same choice Iāve had; to really look at my objections and see what they mean, to see if maybe, maybe thereās something to it.
And, of equal importance, so does anyone that runs across a post complaining about it. All of us, allies, enemies, undecided, we see this kind of thing, and thereās an opportunity to really think instead of reacting. To examine what it is that we object to, why we object, and fully, consciously decide where we stand. Not everyone will. Most people will just reinforce their previous beliefs and thatās that for them. Some will think about it, and their end decision is to not change their beliefs. Some might even change against neopronouns. But some are going to find themselves staring at something in their mind and realizing it doesnāt match what their principles are, and change that way.
Managing all of that? Making that fight, nobody is going to get it right every time. But itās a fight worth having. If it turns and rots into a form of fascism, then blahaj falls, and that will be a bad thing. But I believe that, so far, itās being done for the right reasons, and in scale with the incidence of incursions.
You donāt believe that. I canāt blame you. You arenāt a random account with no history and mostly lurking. Youāre definitely not transphobic. I donāt think anyone looking at your history could come to that conclusion and be taken seriously. There have been other people banned in the same way that, like you, not only arenāt enemies, want to be and generally are allies. Tbh, anyone saying that about you can go fuck themselves, and Iāll gladly tell them that directly, should I see it happen. You disagree with one issue among many, and not in an egregious way. If Ada or another admin asked my opinion, Iād tell them to reverse the ban and try engaging with you instead. And tell them they were being assholes if they donāt at least consider it
Fuck, this is way longer than comfortable reading length on a screen. And I didnāt even get to the xenopronoun part of things. And itās important. Itās the other big issue that people attack over. Iām not sure whether to keep going, or break that into a separate comment in response to this. I think thatās what Iāll do, because it keeps coming up, and it needs addressing.
But pug, even if you decide to skip it. Even if you ran into the wall of text and skipped this far to see if I had a point. I get it. I get your frustration, I get the point youāre making. Itās a valid point. Itās one worthy of discussion. Itās all about when and where.
Thatās the big wall people hit, and nope the fuck out over.
Letās point right at the xeno-elephant in the room and get it out of the way.
Dragon rider/fucker.
Thatās been the crux of the neopronoun arguments. And, I suspect, they intended at pear least part of that. I say they because Iāve discussed it with dragon rider, and they understand my limitations. I respect their choice, I just have so much trouble adapting to individualized pronouns that it fucks my brain and hands too much. My hands are already throbbing from the previous wall of text.
So, this isnāt about whether or not theyāre a troll. Thatās irrelevant. Seriously, it doesnāt matter for this discussion, or for the rules of blahaj.
What does matter is the most common objection to their use of ādragā as a pronoun. āDragons arenāt real, and you canāt fuck things that arenāt real, therefore drag is full of shit and can be ignored.ā
So, what the fuck is a xenopronoun?
You can look up definitions aplenty, but it comes down to saying āI reject gender entirely, and will choose a term that is not only disconnected from gender, but is disconnected from human limitationsā
Thatās it. A person using a xenopronoun doesnāt necessarily think theyāre a dragon, or a dog, or whatever. They donāt have to be otherkin either.
My standard example for this is a standard neopronoun like āxeā neatly slots into English. If I request that, itās an easy ask. If I request my pronoun be āsamā āsouthā, or even āsamuraiā, those things all make sense, and wonāt cause as much of a fight as something like āpupā.
If I listed my pronouns as ātige/tiger/tigersā, Iām going to catch hell everywhere I go, right? And thatās with a tiger, the most majestic and sexy animal on earth (with the possible exception of the platypus or one of my chickens).
So, why could it matter? Why should anyone respect that? It makes no sense, Iām not a fucking tiger. I canāt fuck a tiger without dying (but that wouldnāt stop me from trying!). I have no real connection to tigers other than a strange fascination that I enjoy joking about. So why should anyone use it?
Well, truth is that even if I actually wanted people to, I donāt think I would object if they didnāt, because Iām just a cis-het dude up in the mountains, hoping and wishing I could pray that we arenāt in a civil war before the end of the year, and hoping that the lack of war doesnāt mean the fascists won already.
But Iām not the reason xenopronouns exist. Like I said, itās about people either so disconnected from gender that adopting an animal or other kind of term as a pronoun is more them; or those that have some kind of genuine belief that they have a connection to the thing theyāve adopted as a pronoun
Now, how the fuck does that relate to trans people and trans rights? You canāt be a trans cat because you canāt turn into one, you canāt have been assigned the wrong species at birth, none of the things that we all recognize as aspects of being trans. You canāt, itās a physical fact.
But, maybe some trans people are among the group that is so disconnected from gender that even standard neopronouns donāt work. Or, maybe they also hold a religious or spiritual belief regarding inner connect to animals or other entities. You can be trans and a member of an animist religion.
Why should those trans people be denied their religious beliefs? Why do they have to disconnect that belief from their lack of gender? Who decides when a person has to just suck it up and pick a regular fucking word, for fucks sake?
Yeah, I think we can all agree that there is zero concrete, discrete, evidence based indication that spirit animals, or angels, or any of that exists. Right? I mean, even if you believe in those things, you can clearly see a lack of physical evidence of them. Thereās no forensic residues left by them, you canāt detect them using reproducible means. You may or may not agree that whatever spiritual methods used should or should not be a proof, but it absolutely isnāt something you can just take a picture of.
But thereās trans people for whom that most definitely is a part of who they are. Just like thereās cis folk that believe that way.
The key is, who decides when a trans person can use those terms? Who decides if the otherkin of the world can/should fall under the trans umbrella, even if they donāt have a disconnection from gender? I know it damn sure isnāt the cis majority, and Iāll fight on that fucking hill. We, even cis allies, do not get to define who is and isnāt trans, with the qualifier that language consensus and medical reality may not match with what trans folks decide belongs in their shelter.
I havenāt actually formed a final opinion on xenogender beyond that, btw. My opinion is that my opinion doesnāt fucking matter, no matter what that opinion ends up being. I may eventually come to believe that xenopronouns are a bad thing for trans rights, that itās a weak point that leaves the fight vulnerable, and needs to be shelved at least temporarily. But itās still just the opinion of some cis-het dude in the mountains. Though, being real, writing this did convince me that if blahaj wants to cover xenopronouns as part of their fight, as the rules of that instance, Iād have their back. I may disagree overall (Iām still torn), but I sure as fuck agree that their community is who decides, not anyone else.
But thatās what it all comes down to. Some folks want/need things that make others uncomfortable, make them face things they donāt understand. Some of those may be trolls. Hell, itās inevitable that trolls use it as a weapon, and that full on enemies of trans rights use it as an avenue of attack.
Shit. I think I just thought myself into an opinion about it. Didnāt plan that, and I gotta pick it apart a few times. But thatās off topic.
Thatās what the argument is all about. Whereās the line, who gets to decide where the line is? For blahaj, we know where the line is currently. The instance officially falls on the side of the line that says āif you fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of usā, and they include xenopronouns as part of āusā, until and unless an individual starts breaking other instance rules.
I gotta be real, the entire point of LGB back in the day was that alone, the lesbians, gays, and bis were small numbers, but all together, apes strong. Then T got added, and apes stronger. The fight got bigger, but so did the numbers fighting it. Once the Q+ got brought in as a distinct aspect of what was already already there as well as new groups, those numbers start looking like an army. Once you have the numbers, fucking with one of them seems like a bad proposal. Maybe that + including neurodivergent people, otherkin, and other folks that donāt fit the cis-heteronormative world would be another ape to hold with. You add in the allies, and the āall of usā thatās fucking back can be a force for real change. Maybe the allies here, we can just fight beside our friends and canopies families, and let them sort out labels and pronouns after they arenāt being literally killed
Sorry about the formatting. Suppose we organize our thoughts differently - I find it much easier to address one point at a time.
So, now the admins are in the fight. They have limited choices for those in their camp. They either fight for a core right: to be recognized and respected, or they refuse to fight for that right and abandon those for whom the language is most hurtful for.
But pronouns and neopronouns and even personalized neopronouns werenāt what caused this whole fiasco. The first ban (to me, the minor one) was over me explicitly saying that I respected neopronouns, including personalized ones, but did not think that a human being could be a dragon.
The bans of the trans individual were over first asking a question about neopronouns, and then, after that, for saying that a human being could not be a possum.
This is, again, a dangerous tactic. It is one that risks internal rebellion and increased external attacks. But, it is an effective tactic. If done right, not only will those individuals no longer be let in, but others will have to consider whether or not they want in as well. They become aware, via posts like this one, that it is a war, and that they will fight. And, that they donāt care where you are, if you fuck with their people even indirectly, you arenāt welcome.
Thatās a powerful thing. Looking at it from the outside, itās brilliant, if they intended even part of that. I donāt know their intent, it could be pure spite, but it looks looks like someone not fucking around.
I donāt think thatās correct. I think itās much more of an internal tool than youāre seeing. Few people are going to be sitting here, casual Blahaj users, and suddenly be cowed by the prospect of a ban. Much more likely is that Blahaj users become much more reticent about discussing matters outside of Blahaj, in case they run afoul of the Groupthink and catch a ban from their primary place of participation.
Managing all of that? Making that fight, nobody is going to get it right every time. But itās a fight worth having. If it turns and rots into a form of fascism, then blahaj falls, and that will be a bad thing. But I believe that, so far, itās being done for the right reasons, and in scale with the incidence of incursions.
See, I have two problems with this here:
That, as you note, I donāt believe that it is proportionate or done for the right reasons.
But also that rot does not cause communities to fall. Man, I spent years of my youth on some toxic fucking online communities, and the only thing binding those communities together was our place of conversation. Thatās a weak tie, and still, abuse and bad culture did not even collapse it; in many cases it didnāt even stop growth.
The ties of a community that claim to stand for trans rights, when many trans folk look to the internet for their primary communities where they can be themselves, and one in which behavior even outside of that community can lead to a total removal from that community? Thatās not going to collapse because of some power tripping or bad internal culture. Thatās going to persist as long as it is allowed to. If youāre judging whether Blahaj has turned the wrong corner over whether itās still a cohesive community, youāll be there for the whole ride, possibly down to the heat death of the universe.
If Ada or another admin asked my opinion, Iād tell them to reverse the ban and try engaging with you instead. And tell them they were being assholes if they donāt at least consider it
Man, legit, the ban doesnāt affect me. I havenāt posted on Blahaj in months. Even before I got pissed on the subject, when I was understanding (before moderator action was taken for the crime of saying I was leaving), my intention was to wish them the best and sail off. At the end of the day, the ban was an irritant at most, just something to vent about. I donāt care if itās reversed.
Far more aggravating is the context of it all. Hunting comments in other instances to ban people over, playing dogpile games against people who disagree. And I donāt think that Ada or the rest of the admins really give a shit about it happening. Considering that theyāre involved in the hunt for banning folk, Iām much more inclined to see an unstated permissiveness towards the behavior. Iām also fucking pissed right now over the fact that they harassed a trans user out of the Fediverse entirely, on another instance, so you could say that Iām not inclined to be charitable at the moment.
I appreciate that you donāt think Iām transphobic considering whatās been thrown around recently.
No worries, Iāve just got old eyes and dyslexia, I could fuck up reading kindergarten level books lol
I do see your point, and I may be off in my evaluation of the preemptive bans. Wouldnāt be the first thing Iāve been off on.
And I am worried that itās going to end up ruining a great thing. The fact that theyāve made several mistakes, targeting people that are discussing rather than attacking, itās a problem. If it isnāt reined in, the possibility of it turning utterly toxic is real, and with blahaj being the only significant, broadly federated trans space, I really, really hope ada and any other admins can self regulate and turn it around. I know they mean well, theyāre coming from a place of strong conviction. But strong conviction can turn to zealotry fast.
I think, for me, the key to it is how theyāre finding comments and posts that lead to the decision. If theyāre literally out looking for opportunities to do it, your concerns are likely to come to pass. But if itās passive, then chances are higher that it will end up okay. I donāt know if any of them will see this thread, or if theyād consider responding to it, but it would really be of benefit if they switch to passive only if theyāre actively looking. As a strategy, going off and looking is just too risky, too severe.
Ideally, a preemptive ban would only happen after a thorough review of the user, not off of a single comment, even if that comment seems a problem on the surface. Nor off of a single aspect of ideology when just leaving them alone means theyāre not a problem at all.
Pugjesus, Iām not directing this at you, itās more an opportunity to express this stuff when it isnāt coming up in a community where this discussion isnāt disruptive. This C/ is usually okay with discussion about the subject of a meme, so Iām taking the shot while itās fresh in my mind.
Look, in an ideal setting, this wouldnāt be an issue because blahaj could wall itself off and be the trans dedicated space it needs to be.
Unfortunately, lemmy is not only difficult to use that way, but thereās still a need to interact with outsiders because thereās a war on. They need allies to have access, the users to be able to interact with other instances, and for trans people on other instances to be able to interact there.
Theyāre going to fuck up because thereās no way to make all of that work without admin oversight being high. Thereās always going to be human error, biases, and outright moments of emotional decisions. It happens everywhere.
But we gotta be realistic here. When blahaj admins fuck up, theyāre fucking up because they represent a populace thatās under attack from the outside and the inside. Thereās a dozen topics that simply arenāt one sided, which means any of those topics needs judgement calls.
Those of us that arenāt blahaj users can STFU and mind our own when it comes right down to it, because it isnāt our space. That goes for me too, if I end up banned for something I say elsewhere. Our trans compatriots fucking deserve a space where they can work this kind of thing out, even if that means a lot of mistakes along the way.
And the admins of blahaj are making mistakes. So are some of the users. The questions are, what are those mistakes, which users, and how can there be an objective decision as to whatās the best path? I sure donāt have a right to decide those things for blahaj, so my opinions are essentially farting in the wind. All I can do is support the trans community as a whole, and hope that blahaj finds a balance that allows the users and admins to have a space that is as free of interference and hate as is possible in this fucked up world.
Now, while preemptive bans are a damn difficult tool to use well, they are a valid tool. I personally wouldnāt have used them in every case thatās shown up on the various C/s about mod/admin actions, but I also donāt have access to everything an admin would. There may be reasons I canāt see. But I would have used it in a few of those cases. I prefer preemptives to be a scalpel rather than a scythe, but sometimes you have to cut.
One of these days, Iāll finish up my thinking on the whole xenogender aspect of things, and maybe what I end up with as an opinion will get me banned from blahaj if/when I share it somewhere. If thatās the case, Iāll be sad because I genuinely love the people there, and I love the community. But if thatās whatās needed to keep that society community and those people able to have their own space in a world thatās trying to literally eradicate them, so be it.
Wars never happen without harm to real people, and a lot of the war against trans people is a war waged with words and ideas. So neutering the words of war being able to besiege the instance seems like a worthy strategy to me.
So they choose to alienate allies and drive around trans people on other instances from the Fediverse entirely for wrongthink?
That seems counterproductive.
Okay, so when is it no longer acceptable? Is it decided that they just get a total pass for all behavior because itās a trans-friendly space, so long as youāre trans in a way that agrees with the mob mentality? If you arenāt, of course, then youāre a transphobe and a fascist.
It seems that Blahaj doesnāt regard its space as having any borders.
Apparently, not all trans compatriots are deserving.
So, what, donāt criticize Blahaj, donāt point out anything negative they do, just let them do what they want because thereās no āobjectivelyā correct answer? That wouldnāt fly for any other community or admin team. Why here?
And when the community on Blahaj harasses trans users off the Fediverse entirely for wrongthink? Is supporting Blahaj then supporting the trans community?
I think youāre going way out of your way to justify what you realize are, visibly, bad decisions.
By waging a war of words against trans folk who donāt believe ācorrectlyā in other instances entirely?
The formatting makes it hard for me to follow, so apologies if/when I fuck up
As best as I can pick up, youāre saying that, overall, you feel that the decisions being made on an admin level are divisive and harmful. That part of why that is, is because it draws a hard line about acceptable beliefs, particularly when voiced.
AND, that when those actions/decisions are being applied away from their own instance, that it crosses a line.
Secondary to that, you believe that it has/will cross over into the very kind of fascism thatās warring against trans people in the first place.
Like I said, the formatting is fucking with my ability to interpret things because my brain likes to not see words right even on the best days. Iām going to go forward with the above as my assumptions, and if Iāve missed something, or Iām just wrong in my assumption of your meaning, please correct me because I donāt have anyone available to read the sections that Iām having trouble seeing right, it isnāt me being obtuse or anything. Well, no more obtuse than normal for me.
My response to that is that you have a point, a valid point. It is always dangerous to split a populace against itself, even in the name of preserving that populace.
However, in parsing the actions of admins, itās important to look at what their goals are, and what the principle is that theyāre fighting for.
It comes back to the neopronouns/xenopronouns debate. Thatās really where and when these preemptive bans have occurred, at least that Iāve run across.
Let me approach things a little backwards from how I usually do.
I have changed my opinion about neopronouns in general, to a stance that more closely matches the policy of blahaj; that in general respecting someoneās pronouns is fundamental to the fight for trans rights. Itās only one aspect, but itās a core aspect because it relates to the entirety of how everyone relates to and thinks about gender.
The problems on blahaj started not with basic, widely known neopronouns. It started once people started using individualized pronouns, akin to me wanting my pronoun to be āsouthā, or āsamā. Some of those neopronouns are a type of neopronoun called xenopronouns.
My opinion of neopronouns as a whole used to be that they are a problem because theyāre just too confusing, and are too arbitrary, and that they are (because of that) harmful to the trans rights efforts. Kind of a āwrong fight, wrong timeā thing.
The reason I changed my opinion is that pronouns are something placed on us by external powers. Like gender, they are assigned to us. While having they/them as an option for people that donāt align with masc/fem binaries is a good thing, the fact that itās still imposed by external powers means that the concept itself is part of the structure of oppression.
Neopronouns, like xe/xer/xhem, address that in one way, and itās an important thing that we consider them, and a vital thing that when someone is saying āhere, these are generic words that satisfy the needs of English grammar, but respect my differencesā. That concept is largely the first big wall that the fight hits. āWhat, how dare you change my language?ā āYouāre forcing your beliefs on me, you transism crazy!ā
So, if I, as an ally, canāt at least try to follow that concept, am I really an ally?
But then we hit the second wall, individualized pronouns. Respecting those is a shit ton harder because they arenāt generic. You have to remember each one for each person. Thatās a much higher and harder ask. Youāre going to run into people that canāt keep track, even if theyāre willing. Youāre asking not for a few new words, but for retraining peopleās entire language pathway in their brain. Neurologically, itās easier to learn a new language than to rebuild years or decades of the patterns of a learned language that have āetchedā pathways in the brain, physically.
So, is it worth fighting for? Well, my previous opinion was hell no. It has changed to a qualified yes. See, the fight for trans rights is not a single offensive. Trans people are attacked at multiple levels, and thus the tools used, and the defensive strategies have to be multi-front as well. It is still my opinion that it is a much lower priority in general. However, when youāre trying to create a space where people are supposed to be away from the fight, where theyāre supposed to be at least off the front lines, can you really ignore that individualized pronouns are just as valid and important as generic neopronouns?
I donāt think you can, and thatās been the stance of blahaj administration. And that is divisive. Itās causing strife for anyone and everyone that doesnāt agree with respecting those neopronouns because theyāre individualized. But, if you donāt take the stance that every individual must have their pronouns respected, youāre allowing strife and division by allowing the fight behind your lines.
So, now the admins are in the fight. They have limited choices for those in their camp. They either fight for a core right: to be recognized and respected, or they refuse to fight for that right and abandon those for whom the language is most hurtful for.
They made their choice. They decided it was the right fight to have. The implemented an in-instance rule, and enforced it.
But, they arenāt in a fort. Theyāre in a city, and cities donāt have gates these days. So they canāt stop people from attacking behind their lines without building gates (aka defederating), or instituting border guards that prevent known and suspected enemies from entering. They went on the offensive, applying bans to people that werenāt in their city, effectively telling the guards not to let those individuals in.
This is, again, a dangerous tactic. It is one that risks internal rebellion and increased external attacks. But, it is an effective tactic. If done right, not only will those individuals no longer be let in, but others will have to consider whether or not they want in as well. They become aware, via posts like this one, that it is a war, and that they will fight. And, that they donāt care where you are, if you fuck with their people even indirectly, you arenāt welcome.
Thatās a powerful thing. Looking at it from the outside, itās brilliant, if they intended even part of that. I donāt know their intent, it could be pure spite, but it looks looks like someone not fucking around.
The trans people that should be safe there, but arenāt because they object to individualized pronouns? Thatās a problem because they deserve a space thatās as fiercely defended. Theyāre left out in the cold, so to speak, since thereās only one other instance thatās titularly trans safe, and itās pretty well despised and defederated.
But now, they do have the same choice Iāve had; to really look at my objections and see what they mean, to see if maybe, maybe thereās something to it.
And, of equal importance, so does anyone that runs across a post complaining about it. All of us, allies, enemies, undecided, we see this kind of thing, and thereās an opportunity to really think instead of reacting. To examine what it is that we object to, why we object, and fully, consciously decide where we stand. Not everyone will. Most people will just reinforce their previous beliefs and thatās that for them. Some will think about it, and their end decision is to not change their beliefs. Some might even change against neopronouns. But some are going to find themselves staring at something in their mind and realizing it doesnāt match what their principles are, and change that way.
Managing all of that? Making that fight, nobody is going to get it right every time. But itās a fight worth having. If it turns and rots into a form of fascism, then blahaj falls, and that will be a bad thing. But I believe that, so far, itās being done for the right reasons, and in scale with the incidence of incursions.
You donāt believe that. I canāt blame you. You arenāt a random account with no history and mostly lurking. Youāre definitely not transphobic. I donāt think anyone looking at your history could come to that conclusion and be taken seriously. There have been other people banned in the same way that, like you, not only arenāt enemies, want to be and generally are allies. Tbh, anyone saying that about you can go fuck themselves, and Iāll gladly tell them that directly, should I see it happen. You disagree with one issue among many, and not in an egregious way. If Ada or another admin asked my opinion, Iād tell them to reverse the ban and try engaging with you instead. And tell them they were being assholes if they donāt at least consider it
Fuck, this is way longer than comfortable reading length on a screen. And I didnāt even get to the xenopronoun part of things. And itās important. Itās the other big issue that people attack over. Iām not sure whether to keep going, or break that into a separate comment in response to this. I think thatās what Iāll do, because it keeps coming up, and it needs addressing.
But pug, even if you decide to skip it. Even if you ran into the wall of text and skipped this far to see if I had a point. I get it. I get your frustration, I get the point youāre making. Itās a valid point. Itās one worthy of discussion. Itās all about when and where.
Xenopronouns.
Thatās the big wall people hit, and nope the fuck out over.
Letās point right at the xeno-elephant in the room and get it out of the way.
Dragon rider/fucker.
Thatās been the crux of the neopronoun arguments. And, I suspect, they intended at pear least part of that. I say they because Iāve discussed it with dragon rider, and they understand my limitations. I respect their choice, I just have so much trouble adapting to individualized pronouns that it fucks my brain and hands too much. My hands are already throbbing from the previous wall of text.
So, this isnāt about whether or not theyāre a troll. Thatās irrelevant. Seriously, it doesnāt matter for this discussion, or for the rules of blahaj.
What does matter is the most common objection to their use of ādragā as a pronoun. āDragons arenāt real, and you canāt fuck things that arenāt real, therefore drag is full of shit and can be ignored.ā
So, what the fuck is a xenopronoun?
You can look up definitions aplenty, but it comes down to saying āI reject gender entirely, and will choose a term that is not only disconnected from gender, but is disconnected from human limitationsā
Thatās it. A person using a xenopronoun doesnāt necessarily think theyāre a dragon, or a dog, or whatever. They donāt have to be otherkin either.
My standard example for this is a standard neopronoun like āxeā neatly slots into English. If I request that, itās an easy ask. If I request my pronoun be āsamā āsouthā, or even āsamuraiā, those things all make sense, and wonāt cause as much of a fight as something like āpupā.
If I listed my pronouns as ātige/tiger/tigersā, Iām going to catch hell everywhere I go, right? And thatās with a tiger, the most majestic and sexy animal on earth (with the possible exception of the platypus or one of my chickens).
So, why could it matter? Why should anyone respect that? It makes no sense, Iām not a fucking tiger. I canāt fuck a tiger without dying (but that wouldnāt stop me from trying!). I have no real connection to tigers other than a strange fascination that I enjoy joking about. So why should anyone use it?
Well, truth is that even if I actually wanted people to, I donāt think I would object if they didnāt, because Iām just a cis-het dude up in the mountains, hoping and wishing I could pray that we arenāt in a civil war before the end of the year, and hoping that the lack of war doesnāt mean the fascists won already.
But Iām not the reason xenopronouns exist. Like I said, itās about people either so disconnected from gender that adopting an animal or other kind of term as a pronoun is more them; or those that have some kind of genuine belief that they have a connection to the thing theyāve adopted as a pronoun
Now, how the fuck does that relate to trans people and trans rights? You canāt be a trans cat because you canāt turn into one, you canāt have been assigned the wrong species at birth, none of the things that we all recognize as aspects of being trans. You canāt, itās a physical fact.
But, maybe some trans people are among the group that is so disconnected from gender that even standard neopronouns donāt work. Or, maybe they also hold a religious or spiritual belief regarding inner connect to animals or other entities. You can be trans and a member of an animist religion.
Why should those trans people be denied their religious beliefs? Why do they have to disconnect that belief from their lack of gender? Who decides when a person has to just suck it up and pick a regular fucking word, for fucks sake?
Yeah, I think we can all agree that there is zero concrete, discrete, evidence based indication that spirit animals, or angels, or any of that exists. Right? I mean, even if you believe in those things, you can clearly see a lack of physical evidence of them. Thereās no forensic residues left by them, you canāt detect them using reproducible means. You may or may not agree that whatever spiritual methods used should or should not be a proof, but it absolutely isnāt something you can just take a picture of.
But thereās trans people for whom that most definitely is a part of who they are. Just like thereās cis folk that believe that way.
The key is, who decides when a trans person can use those terms? Who decides if the otherkin of the world can/should fall under the trans umbrella, even if they donāt have a disconnection from gender? I know it damn sure isnāt the cis majority, and Iāll fight on that fucking hill. We, even cis allies, do not get to define who is and isnāt trans, with the qualifier that language consensus and medical reality may not match with what trans folks decide belongs in their shelter.
I havenāt actually formed a final opinion on xenogender beyond that, btw. My opinion is that my opinion doesnāt fucking matter, no matter what that opinion ends up being. I may eventually come to believe that xenopronouns are a bad thing for trans rights, that itās a weak point that leaves the fight vulnerable, and needs to be shelved at least temporarily. But itās still just the opinion of some cis-het dude in the mountains. Though, being real, writing this did convince me that if blahaj wants to cover xenopronouns as part of their fight, as the rules of that instance, Iād have their back. I may disagree overall (Iām still torn), but I sure as fuck agree that their community is who decides, not anyone else.
But thatās what it all comes down to. Some folks want/need things that make others uncomfortable, make them face things they donāt understand. Some of those may be trolls. Hell, itās inevitable that trolls use it as a weapon, and that full on enemies of trans rights use it as an avenue of attack.
Shit. I think I just thought myself into an opinion about it. Didnāt plan that, and I gotta pick it apart a few times. But thatās off topic.
Thatās what the argument is all about. Whereās the line, who gets to decide where the line is? For blahaj, we know where the line is currently. The instance officially falls on the side of the line that says āif you fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of usā, and they include xenopronouns as part of āusā, until and unless an individual starts breaking other instance rules.
I gotta be real, the entire point of LGB back in the day was that alone, the lesbians, gays, and bis were small numbers, but all together, apes strong. Then T got added, and apes stronger. The fight got bigger, but so did the numbers fighting it. Once the Q+ got brought in as a distinct aspect of what was already already there as well as new groups, those numbers start looking like an army. Once you have the numbers, fucking with one of them seems like a bad proposal. Maybe that + including neurodivergent people, otherkin, and other folks that donāt fit the cis-heteronormative world would be another ape to hold with. You add in the allies, and the āall of usā thatās fucking back can be a force for real change. Maybe the allies here, we can just fight beside our friends and canopies families, and let them sort out labels and pronouns after they arenāt being literally killed
Very thoughtful post. I just wanted to thank you for writing it. I feel this much effort should be featured somewhere on its own.
Thanks :) makes an old man feel useful
Sorry about the formatting. Suppose we organize our thoughts differently - I find it much easier to address one point at a time.
But pronouns and neopronouns and even personalized neopronouns werenāt what caused this whole fiasco. The first ban (to me, the minor one) was over me explicitly saying that I respected neopronouns, including personalized ones, but did not think that a human being could be a dragon.
The bans of the trans individual were over first asking a question about neopronouns, and then, after that, for saying that a human being could not be a possum.
I donāt think thatās correct. I think itās much more of an internal tool than youāre seeing. Few people are going to be sitting here, casual Blahaj users, and suddenly be cowed by the prospect of a ban. Much more likely is that Blahaj users become much more reticent about discussing matters outside of Blahaj, in case they run afoul of the Groupthink and catch a ban from their primary place of participation.
See, I have two problems with this here:
That, as you note, I donāt believe that it is proportionate or done for the right reasons.
But also that rot does not cause communities to fall. Man, I spent years of my youth on some toxic fucking online communities, and the only thing binding those communities together was our place of conversation. Thatās a weak tie, and still, abuse and bad culture did not even collapse it; in many cases it didnāt even stop growth.
The ties of a community that claim to stand for trans rights, when many trans folk look to the internet for their primary communities where they can be themselves, and one in which behavior even outside of that community can lead to a total removal from that community? Thatās not going to collapse because of some power tripping or bad internal culture. Thatās going to persist as long as it is allowed to. If youāre judging whether Blahaj has turned the wrong corner over whether itās still a cohesive community, youāll be there for the whole ride, possibly down to the heat death of the universe.
Man, legit, the ban doesnāt affect me. I havenāt posted on Blahaj in months. Even before I got pissed on the subject, when I was understanding (before moderator action was taken for the crime of saying I was leaving), my intention was to wish them the best and sail off. At the end of the day, the ban was an irritant at most, just something to vent about. I donāt care if itās reversed.
Far more aggravating is the context of it all. Hunting comments in other instances to ban people over, playing dogpile games against people who disagree. And I donāt think that Ada or the rest of the admins really give a shit about it happening. Considering that theyāre involved in the hunt for banning folk, Iām much more inclined to see an unstated permissiveness towards the behavior. Iām also fucking pissed right now over the fact that they harassed a trans user out of the Fediverse entirely, on another instance, so you could say that Iām not inclined to be charitable at the moment.
I appreciate that you donāt think Iām transphobic considering whatās been thrown around recently.
No worries, Iāve just got old eyes and dyslexia, I could fuck up reading kindergarten level books lol
I do see your point, and I may be off in my evaluation of the preemptive bans. Wouldnāt be the first thing Iāve been off on.
And I am worried that itās going to end up ruining a great thing. The fact that theyāve made several mistakes, targeting people that are discussing rather than attacking, itās a problem. If it isnāt reined in, the possibility of it turning utterly toxic is real, and with blahaj being the only significant, broadly federated trans space, I really, really hope ada and any other admins can self regulate and turn it around. I know they mean well, theyāre coming from a place of strong conviction. But strong conviction can turn to zealotry fast.
I think, for me, the key to it is how theyāre finding comments and posts that lead to the decision. If theyāre literally out looking for opportunities to do it, your concerns are likely to come to pass. But if itās passive, then chances are higher that it will end up okay. I donāt know if any of them will see this thread, or if theyād consider responding to it, but it would really be of benefit if they switch to passive only if theyāre actively looking. As a strategy, going off and looking is just too risky, too severe.
Ideally, a preemptive ban would only happen after a thorough review of the user, not off of a single comment, even if that comment seems a problem on the surface. Nor off of a single aspect of ideology when just leaving them alone means theyāre not a problem at all.