I should have just died at birth. I actually tried making this stupid life worth living and it’s all wasted effort. Nothing improved, as manic episodes don’t count as “happiness”. I will always be burdensome scum and a waste of flesh and resources. I’m always going to be emotionally, mentally, and physically stunted. I’m always going to be a joke to society. I’m always going to feel like a void trying to blend in with the actual people. Nothing will improve regardless of how much I try. My only choices are being abused for the rest of my life despite everything, and being a burden at work and on society of the actually loved people. I don’t enjoy anything anymore. My life peaked at 4. I don’t see a point in trying to improve myself anymore.

  • lobut
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 days ago

    I was there. It’s really hard seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t think my suicidal ideation would have ever ended. I was just apart of me.

    When I finally did therapy and some antidepressants it helped pull me out. My therapist sent me this video and it helped frame what I was going through: https://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc