I can’t remember who it was, but I saw a comedy routine where the guy described a conversation he had with his financial advisor. The advisor asked him “What does financial stability mean to you?” The comedian, having just recently started earning real money from comedy for the first time, had never even considered such a question before and had to ponder on it for a moment. Finally he thought up an answer. “What financial stability means to me is when I’m ordering food and they ask if I want to add guacamole, I don’t have to think about it, I can just say yes.”
That line really stuck with me, and I have found it to be an accurate indicator of my own financial stability. Only works if you actually like guac though.
I never pay for extras, and my financial stability is what you would expect from someone giving that answer. But I do like guac, so if I’m feeling the call for some avocado I order a veggie. You lose the meat but the guacamole goodness is included.
What’s he going to do, call the cops for the guy leaving without eating or taking anything?
Yeah I worked at a Subway in college.
We’d just set it aside and it became a worker’s sandwich later.
Literally my favorite moment working there: Some douche was trying to be aggressive about the cost for some reason I don’t remember, some nonsense of some sort. Said he wasn’t going to pay for what he ordered. I say “Okay! Bye!” and threw that shit in the trash right in front of him. The sheer shock on his face as his little tantrum didn’t work out the way he wanted… Like we were paid enough to give a shit, lol.
“Can I get it out of the trash for free?”
No customers behind the counter.
We take the trash out at 4pm though if you want to wait.
That’s when you spit on the trash sandwich.
“Still free, right?”
No, spit costs extra
Awww!
What’s he going to do, pass on a free sandwich? In this economy?
At that point, yes.
“Woo-hoo!”
“Only if you fish it out with your mouth, and I’ll give you another one free of charge if you do”
“Deal!”
goes bobbing for bacteria
spoiler
in the secret panel, he tries buying the garbage dump to find his hard drive
ELI5
The gentleman in the comic has lost all his money ‘investing’ in cryptocurrency. As a result, he is not only unable to afford the additional dollar for extra guacamole, but he is totally unable to afford the cost of the sandwich at all.
Another layer of the joke is how confident he was he could afford it, both in walking in and starting the process as well as his smug expression when pulling out his phone.
It hints to the volatility of crypto; you could be a thousandaire, millionaire, and homeless in the time it takes you to decide on whether or not banana peppers would go well with your other toppings.
Of course, BitCoin is doing better than ever, and it will continue to rise while Russia is under sanctions and drives demand.
Unless you do what they call a “rookie move” and don’t keep a personal wallet.
