• Foggyfroggy@lemmy.world
    26·
    11 months ago

    Reminds me of love languages, which is a concept that has stuck around in my head a lot longer than I would have expected.

  • Caesium@lemmy.world
    221·
    11 months ago

    Owning cats helped me realize love is not simply words. Every cat I had showed their affection towards me differently, but i could still recognize it the same.

  • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
    211·
    11 months ago

    I wish. One of my kids actually interacts with me without prompting, the others not so much… My wife acknowledges me first about once a quarter. My extended family notices me once a year or less! I haven’t had friends invite me first to anything in so long, it’s always me inviting them. At least my dog acknowledges me on a frequent basis.

    Good for op, but I have none of that.

  • Napain@lemmy.ml
    93·
    11 months ago

    that’s a wholesome post but it also sounds in healthy and repressed. the world doesn’t end if y’all say i love you to your family members once in a while

    • Jumi@lemmy.world
      8·
      11 months ago

      Everyone has a different love language. Some say it and some prefer to show it in other ways.

      • somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
        5·
        11 months ago

        I am here for all of this. We all love, and most of us are bad at saying it. We can give. We can say it. I love so many people. Tell them. Really tell them. It is more freeing than it is free to say.

  • Stamets@startrek.website
    126·
    11 months ago

    Cool.

    I haven’t had a hug in 13 years.

    Last gift I got given was 5 years ago when homeless and begging for food. Someone gave me a sandwich with dog shit in it.

    No one does anything for me. Ever.

    I’m going to go cry and contemplate suicide again.

    • Osirus@sh.itjust.works
      513·
      11 months ago

      Why? This life is such a gift and every day is a chance to change what you don’t like about it. Invest some time and effort into it. You have the power to turn life into anything you want and you are just going to throw it away? Quit whining and put in work. This whole “poor me” shtick is lame. A hug is a two way street. How many times have you put yourself out there to receive a hug? Be a hugger. Offer. I went to a 40th birthday party for my friend lastnight which I don’t go out much… I hugged every person that I hadn’t seen for 20 years. Every person hugged me back. Do something for yourself and for other people and stop expecting MFs to make it happen for you. Damn.

      • Stamets@startrek.website
        55·
        11 months ago

        I am physically disabled without the means to afford food and medication at the same time.

        But yes, sure, I can totally change my situation! Lemme just go out and hug random strangers! I mean, that’s totally gonna be fine, right? I could probably make one of those signs and go out with free hugs and get them from people. Not like I’ve done that and people openly mocked me until they told me to go kill myself, right? Nah. It’s totally a normal thing!

        But yeah, I’m just whining. I just gotta put in the work! I’m sure that if I do a few worksheets i’ll be able to walk again without the use of a cane! If I just complete this book then my family will love me and I won’t have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from being physically and verbally abused until I was 18!

        Sure, its all just poor me. I just guess I don’t want to fix the issues of severe depression. I just decided to be sad one day and today I’ma decide to be happy! It’s not like there are literal chemical imbalances in the brain that are causing these problems. Nope. I can just change it! I’ma even decide to be straight today too!

        Go suck on a tailpipe.

        Edit: You know, for a ‘wholesome memes’ community, you guys tend to really support the patently obviously troll victim blaming and screaming to just ‘get over it’. Y’all are flagrantly fucking disgusting. Thanks for making that really obvious really face.

        Wholesome my ass.

        • Osirus@sh.itjust.works
          43·
          11 months ago

          There are plenty of people out there that are disabled that are a force for good and positivity. Don’t give me that shit. I was an alcoholic, I was abused by my father, sexually abused by a young man, I have ptsd, depression anxiety, I refused to accept that I would lead a miserable life any more. You do what you can to change the situation. I’m sorry you are disabled, I’m sorry you are depressed but those things don’t have to define you. That defeatist mindstate you are stuck in is what makes people avoid you, not the fact that you have a fucking cane. Jesus, cry me a river, you act like you are the only person who ever had a problem in life. Pick yourself the fuck up and keep trying to better your situation. Seek out medications to fix your depression. Do something besides sitting on the internet having a fucking pity party for yourself.

  • dlok@lemmy.world
    71·
    11 months ago

    I don’t want gifts and it annoys me when I get them because you’re just receiving an obligation to work out what the giver likes when it’s their birthday or Christmas.

    • vithigar
      73·
      11 months ago

      What an awful way to view gift giving.

      I don’t ever expect reciprocation when I give a gift. That’s the entire point of a gift. We’re not bartering.

      • Stamets@startrek.website
        72·
        11 months ago

        Then congratulations on having a healthy childhood. I sure as hell didn’t. For me I will only ever see it as an obligation. My mother used them as ways to control me. Now I just don’t like getting gifts because it makes me think that person is going to hurt me.

        • vithigar
          3·
          11 months ago

          I mean… that still sounds awful. Just through no fault of your own. Which is arguably worse. Or at least more sympathetic.

          • Stamets@startrek.website
            22·
            11 months ago

            Yeah that’s all I mean. Not everyone purposefully views gift giving like that. I had to do so as a simple defense mechanism.

        • dlok@lemmy.world
          1·
          11 months ago

          Yeah I used to get shamed for not buying presents when I was a teenager and didn’t have a job and I find it really mentally taxing to figure out what to buy people… people who are good gift givers are capable of doing so without it hurting themselves financially too much imo. when I had a job I found myself over compensating by buying people expensive electronics which wasn’t sustainable if I was going to save up and move out so the whole thing just stresses me out.

      • dlok@lemmy.world
        2·
        11 months ago

        Just out of curiosity would you still buy someone gifts if you knew they didn’t like receiving them?

        • vithigar
          1·
          11 months ago

          Short answer is “no”. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable and won’t foist gifts onto them that they don’t want. It can be nuanced though, depending on the person and situation. Some gifts are better received than others. Some might not even be perceived as gifts.