OTTAWA — After disgraced professor and beef enthusiast Jordan Peterson announced yesterday that he had moved to Florida due to the Canadian government’s allegedly woke fascist policies, Justin Trudeau immediately issued a statement saying that his 2025 election campaign slogan will be “I Got Jordan Peterson to Leave.”

OTTAWA - After disgraced professor and beef enthusiast Jordan Peterson announced yesterday that he had moved to Florida due to the Canadian government’s allegedly woke fascist policies, Justin Trudeau immediately issued a statement saying that his 2025 election campaign slogan will be “I Got Jordan Peterson to Leave.”

“I realize that my popularity has been declining in the polls recently,” explained the prime minister, wearing a hat depicting Peterson’s crying face and the words “Bye, Bitch,” on it, “but I think we can all appreciate that it was my government and my policies that triggered Jordan enough that he had to run away to a country that is kinder to suspected Russian assets.”

  • spacecadet@lemm.eeEnglish
    317·
    4 days ago

    I think I’m OOTL on Jordan Petersen hate. Didn’t he just tell people to clean up their room and go insane or something? Did he do something else? I feel like he hasn’t been relevant in like 10 years, I had no idea he was still in people’s minds.

    • spectorEnglish
      232·
      4 days ago

      This comment is in every single thread. Always.

      Do you guys work off the same notes or what.

      • BetaBlake@lemmy.worldEnglish
        12·
        4 days ago

        It’s literally the same comment people have been making about Peterson for almost 10 years now. It’s pretty wild, and laughable that they expect us to think they’re “ootl”