he sees you when you’re sleeping
😶
he knows when you’re awake
😐
he knows when you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake
☹️
do not open that sarcophagus. that corpse is a fucking vampire.
Can’t be, he doesn’t have to ask for permission before sliding down the chimney!
doesn’t have to. He’s santa. everyone welcomes him into their homes.
But he brings gifts to warm our blackened consumer souls and only occasionally snacks on a family member.
I would love to see this reported on one of those local news channels with a policy of pretending that Santa is real.
see Santa’s death mask
“The ancestor of Santa…” or something would probably work around it well enough to keep those people happy.
“It was always my dream to meet Santa Claus, but not like this.”
Unboxing on the 24th
Ain’t no way they found Santa in that. He’s busy taking back his elfs from Bezos.
Despite the shitty pay and working conditions of Amazon workers, as far as I can tell, Santa doesn’t pay his elves at all Bezos may actually be the better option here.
Removed by mod
Down in a ho ho hole.
How can he be there, when he was just here giving out presents to all the children?? 🤠
There is a long story already about his remains…
