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RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 8 months ago

JD Vance Warns Millions Of Women May Vote Under Influence Of Menstrual Madness

theonion.com

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JD Vance Warns Millions Of Women May Vote Under Influence Of Menstrual Madness

theonion.com

RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 8 months ago
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CINCINNATI—Moments after he frantically nailed two-by-fours across the closed door of the bedroom he shares with his wife, vice presidential candidate JD Vance issued a dire warning Wednesday, alerting the public that millions of women may vote under the influence of menstrual madness. “If they are permitted to cast ballots, then we risk allowing the […]
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  • Nougat@fedia.io
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    8 months ago

    I remember when The Onion was ridiculous.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Oh, it still is. Reality is just ALSO rediculous.

      • Nougat@fedia.io
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        8 months ago

        Maybe they should shift gears and start printing stories like “JD Vance Apologizes to Haitian Immigrants” or “Trump Kicks Neo-Nazis Out of Rally”.

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          “Trump declaires himself a vegetarian. Proclaims only soy boys eat meat.”

        • vividspecter@lemm.ee
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          8 months ago

          “Trump answers question clearly and honestly”.

        • FrederikNJS@lemm.ee
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          8 months ago

          “Trump Apologies for Insurrection, Explains He Was ‘Hangry’”

    • JaggedRobotPubes@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I too remember the present moment.

  • tomkatt@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    I had to check the community and link, because I could believe he would say something like this.

    • beebarfbadger@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Honestly, I could imagine every single network reporting this exact headline and I wouldn’t bat an eye.

    • shalafi@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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      8 months ago

      I believed it.

      • ɔiƚoxɘup@infosec.pub
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        8 months ago

        Me too. I only realized it was onion the second time I scrolled through.

    • NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I briefly believed it before realizing I should check.

    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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      8 months ago

      Given what has actually come out of this man’s mouth, it was definitely plausible.

  • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    8 months ago

    This one fuckin got me. Are they sure this didn’t actually happen?

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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      8 months ago

      I think it has. In his head. The Onion just has an advanced scoop.

    • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Oh, I bit the onion pretty hard on this one.

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Me: God dammit. I must be slipping. I used to be able yo laugh at an obviously fake onion headline.

    Comment section: I FELL FOR THE ONION HEADLINE!!!

    Me: Oh good. It’s not just me.

    • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
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      8 months ago

      Reality is the issue, not you.

    • YurkshireLad
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      8 months ago

      I had to triple check the source before I was convinced it wasn’t real.

      Maybe it is real. Anything’s possible these days.

  • Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Lol came in to admit defeat, and saw a ton of comments doing the same.

    Not 100% sure The Onion didn’t accidentally post something that actually happened again.

  • Pup Biru@aussie.zone
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    8 months ago

    Adding my +1 for I ate the onion

  • InverseParallax@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    First time I had to check because I was sure it WASN’T the onion.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    8 months ago

    This headline is completely believable.

  • Someplaceunknown@fedia.io
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    8 months ago

    Why does this sound real

  • mlg@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Onion is trying to make a comeback but honestly, their content has been a bit meh because it’s almost too on the nose and close to reality.

    Old onion was great because the satire cascaded into something completely out of this world humor.

    Like if they ran their closeted republican report today (https://youtu.be/simV1ZXFsxI) it just wouldn’t be as funny because the problem has only gotten worse in the wrong direction. There is just no next level up that they can go and still keep it satire.

  • ceenote@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    “This woke imbalance of the humours causes women to put their own rights and interests ahead of the feelings of insecure very handsome and smart men, such as myself.”

    -JD Vance, probably

  • NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io
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    8 months ago

    Bruh I thought it was real.

  • credo@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    They are going to get in trouble. Satire has to be obvious.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    renfield says what?

  • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    “Vaginas scare me!”

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