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Jaromil@fed.dyne.org to Memes@lemmy.ml · 7 months ago

Stay vigilant

fed.dyne.org

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  • cross-posted to:
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Stay vigilant

fed.dyne.org

Jaromil@fed.dyne.org to Memes@lemmy.ml · 7 months ago
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35
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  • cross-posted to:
  • [email protected]
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  • xpinchx@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    If you’re pounding one out that won’t really save you. He probably games with headphones and just doesn’t want to get jump scares by mom.

    I always had a desk and a bed and I made a point to never have my back towards the door when I was at my desk for the above reason.

    • toynbee@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I used to almost exclusively listen to any kind of audio through headphones. I had a microphone near my desk configured so that it would pass through the vibration of footsteps directly to my headphones. I was rarely startled, no matter what sordid activity I was undertaking.

      • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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        7 months ago

        I swear the footsteps trigger a Pavlov response in me at this point. I can even tell who it is by the footsteps

        • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net
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          7 months ago

          Pavlov

          As in you instantly lose an erection, because you’ve been conditioned to associate footfalls with a ruined orgasm?

          • datavoid@lemmy.ml
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            7 months ago

            I can only get off if I hear approaching footsteps

        • toynbee@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          I used to be able to do that, too! These days, I live with two people: an adult wife and a toddler. Their gaits are pretty easily distinguishable.

        • monsterpiece42@reddthat.com
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          7 months ago

          Trauma, neurodivergence, or both detected!

          • capital@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            deleted by creator

            • monsterpiece42@reddthat.com
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              7 months ago

              By nature noticing these things repeatedly either comes from hypervigilance or having sensory differences that make you hear footsteps when others would not.

              Obviously there are exceptions like if you live on a floor lower than someone or something.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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        7 months ago

        Wow was that hard to setup? Any special equipment needed?

        • Psychadelligoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 months ago

          I forget the type of mic but there are mics specifically designed for picking up vibrations from surfaces (I googled it, they’re called surface mics ffs, could probably use a cheap normal mic without a pop filter tho)

          If those use USB or 3.5mm, or can be made to, then plug them in and on windows check the “listen to this device” checkbox and boom, you’ll hear what’s coming through that mic. Adjust the sensitivity to your needs, done

          On other OSs you can do it too just as easily but I don’t remember what my Linux distro calls it and if you’ve installed Linux you have enough info from my comment to figure it out methinks

        • toynbee@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Honestly, that was some 25-30 years ago. It was pretty simple to setup back then, but it might not be the same now, especially in Windows.

    • CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Same for me at work. But I use a mirror from Aliexpress.

  • foggy@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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    7 months ago

    Fap with one eye ooooopen

    Gripping your tube sock tiiight

    Exit porn…

    Enter mom…

    Move your hand

    And hope your boner doesn’t stand

    • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Enter mom???😑

      • OutlierBlue
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        7 months ago

        Maybe he broke his arms.

        • soloner@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

        • Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org
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          7 months ago

          Maybe he broke his arms.

          Broken arms meme, we meet again!

          Motherfucker!

          • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            That’s one way to describe the guy, indeed.

        • Gregor@gregtech.eu
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          7 months ago

          Thanks, I hate it

    • arandomthought@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      I have no idea where that came from but alright… Here’s your well deserved upvote.

    • late_night@sopuli.xyz
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      7 months ago

      All I think of is this now

      1000008748

      • Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        Is that a stauner?

      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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        7 months ago

        Butthead’s a Lefty?

  • black0ut@pawb.social
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    7 months ago

    It’s for boosting Wi-Fi reception, don’t worry about it.

  • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    If they can’t figure it out, no one tell them.

  • Farid@startrek.website
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    7 months ago

    There is no spoon.

  • Zement@feddit.nl
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    7 months ago

    Give him the keys for his room…

  • lousyd@lemmy.sdf.org
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    7 months ago

    Because it’s dull, you twit! It’ll hurt more!

  • NerdyPopRocks@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    That’s actually really clever!

  • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    Partially heeding the advice of Thufir Hawat

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    “And when we hide porno, we go all out. It ain’t behind the refrigerator or under the bed. No, we become Batman when it’s time to hide some porno.”

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Mirror?

  • Destide@feddit.uk
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    7 months ago

    Cyber-smack

    • bruhduh@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Seems like new musky brand coming up

  • nifty@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    To eat yogurt

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