We only learnt of our son’s secret online life after he died at 25
www.thetimes.com
When Mats Steen died from a muscle-wasting disorder, his parents believed that his life had been a tragically lonely one — until hundreds of emails from strangers arrived. It turns out that he’d found friendship and even romance in a gaming community

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When Mats Steen died from a muscle-wasting disorder, his parents believed that his life had been a tragically lonely one — until hundreds of emails from strangers arrived. It turns out that he’d found friendship and even romance in a gaming community

Their son had lived by another name. To his family he had simply been Mats. But within World of Warcraft he had existed for years as a charismatic adventurer named “Ibelin”, a strapping swashbuckler with auburn hair tied back in a ponytail and a butch goatee beard. And it was as this digital alter ego that Mats had thrived in a way his family had never appreciated. They had misunderstood what World of Warcraft really was. It had seemed to them like a frenetic action game of monster-bashing and point-scoring. To Mats and the many people he played with – the people now emailing Robert and Trude – it was something far more profound: an immersive world built on social interactions, friendships and shared storytelling. Robert smiles. “This window started to open up to us that let us see he had another life besides his physical life. And that it had been so rich, so big and so full of contentment.”

  • Sundial@lemm.ee
    85·
    3 months ago

    The best thing about online games is the opportunity for Mats, and others like him, to be who he truly was. Once you find the right group of people, it doesn’t what color your skin is, what’s between your legs, what your physical advantages/disadvantages are. All that mattered was your character and your determination. And you aren’t limited by your geography even. You can interact with people all over the world and enrich yourself along with enriching themselves by providing a brief glimpse in each others lives. It’s actually a beautiful thing how many stories there are like this one there are out there. Games like WoW enabled Mats to be the person who he truly was before he passed. It’s a bittersweet moment for the parents. I hope it gives them the closure they need.

  • TheRtRevKaiser@beehaw.orgM
    79·
    3 months ago

    I saw this headline and expected something very different than what I got, and I’m really glad. I think the last decade has made me really cynical about technology and the internet, for some good reasons, to the point where a story like this is almost surprising. I found myself a little caught off guard by how emotional I got while reading it. Thank you for posting this.

    • GetOffMyLan@programming.dev
      21·
      3 months ago

      World of warcraft in the earlier days was very social as there were lots of things you simply couldn’t do on your own.

      There was no built in LFG mechanic and even many quests required small groups.

      You’d end up bumping into the same people regularly due to similar play times and levels.

      I forged some really great friendships back then.

  • FIash Mob #5678@beehaw.org
    26·
    3 months ago

    Having a great online gaming community can be a wonderful thing. I’ve returned over and over again to ALFA, a Neverwinter Nights (1, now Enhanced Edition, not NWN2) persistent world that’s over two decades old now, and me and a few lifers are still playing and DMing even today with each other.

    Online friends are real friends.

    • Uninvited Guest
      3·
      3 months ago

      I wish I was still connected with those I played NWN with. Bastions of War, an arena PvP server, let to same great squad play - and from there we expanded to other servers under the moniker “Cult of Discord” or CoD.

      Why all the detail? Wishful thinking that when one of the other post members decides to search for Cult of Discord (as I occasionally do) that they turn up a result.

  • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
    23·
    3 months ago

    I miss my online friends. They’re still around, it’s just hard to keep in contact in a way that works for us.

    One now has two young kids(!) And the others are all busy with jobs and stuff. Our schedules just don’t line up anymore(plus timezone issues! I’m online when they’re alseep)

    It felt like when we couldn’t game together anymore, everyone just kinda found it hard to keep in touch. I feel guilty about not trying to reach out more. But idk. It’s weird I guess

    • MagicShel@programming.dev
      9·
      3 months ago

      Me and some old guildies have kept in touch off and on over the years. Every once in a while I’d buy a wow expansion and do a couple of dungeons. We were really looking forward to making Diablo 4 our new hang out.

      We played like hell all through the beta. Then like twice in live. Then we all kinda decided it sucked. I think my good friend’s daughter is graduating soon. Or possibly already did. I can’t remember how much older than my own kids she was. I can remember when she was born.

      He’s still like a brother to me, but we’ve got fuck all in common any more and we can’t keep talking about glory days that were damn near 20 years ago.

  • Bluu@midwest.social
    12·
    3 months ago

    Enjoyed reading this one. Made me think of all the friends I made while playing WoW back in the day.