• GBU_28@lemm.ee
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    7 hours ago

    He’s like “I’ma make this dude into a janitor so fast”

  • JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    “Why did you join the Army?”

    “Government didn’t like it when I killed people back home so I let them fly me out here and now I get little prizes for it.”

    • yolo@r.nf
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      5 hours ago

      “Ah. nice! Thank you for your service.”

    • Final Remix@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you’ll excuse me, they’re putting me in something called Hero Squad.

      • Rusty
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        6 hours ago

        Dr Fishman said that you’re going to be all right.

  • FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    “have you ever done any drugs?” “oh yes, tons. Everything under the sun” “nothing? Not even Marijuana? Sober as a judge you are!”

  • zorro@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    Sorry I had my license revoked after the last incident. You’ll have to send a car.