In addition to what you’re saying (as I fully agree with it):
Even when both sides are being honest, relationships that work at distance don’t necessarily work IRL. It’s hard to deeply know someone through the internet, even with VR; and in this sort of situation we tend to fill the gaps with idealised crap, instead of reality. Then as you meet the person IRL you discover that they aren’t anything remotely similar to what you hoped for.
I met my wife in an mmo and the first 2 years of our relationship were online. After 3 years I moved to live near her. We have been together for about 18 or 19 years now so if you actually communicate it can work.
Yup, with a LD relationship like that, you have to fill in a lot of blanks about someone that you can’t determine - how are they in the morning? Do they pick up after themselves? Do they have any gross habits? There’s tonnes of little things that are entirely irrelevant in a remote setting but can really make a difference in person.
And naturally when you fill in those blanks, you tend to only fill them in with positives or you just don’t think about all those little things.
Nah, you’ve got it the wrong way around. It’s harder to intimately know someone when you’re being distracted by their face and body. An online relationship, especially when texting, is being exposed directly to the words of a person’s soul. A physical relationship is always had behind a mask, one that can’t represent the person because they didn’t actually choose it. Nobody’s really human, but in physical space everyone looks human. That’s why physical space is the opposite of reality. “IRL” is the internet, not meatspace.
Buddha taught that when you perceive the world while thinking, you structure your experience of the world into an illusion. The only way to perceive objective reality is to perceive without thought. Which of course, means perceiving nothing at all. Rather similar to death when you think about it. Accordingly, the more of the world you are seeing, the less of reality you see. That’s why online relationships are realer. Physical bodies are an illusion that distorts relationships. Your attraction to your partner’s body can delude you into thinking a relationship is good, while your soul is starving because their personality is no good for you. And your lack of attraction can blind you to a very good relationship, which is especially obvious if your partner is trans and pre-transition. You could be a straight guy, your gf is a trans girl, and you’d be very happy in an online relationship with the real her, but the illusion of her male body ruins the relationship and makes your penis soft. It’s no good.
In addition to what you’re saying (as I fully agree with it):
Even when both sides are being honest, relationships that work at distance don’t necessarily work IRL. It’s hard to deeply know someone through the internet, even with VR; and in this sort of situation we tend to fill the gaps with idealised crap, instead of reality. Then as you meet the person IRL you discover that they aren’t anything remotely similar to what you hoped for.
What I have to say is anecdotal evidence.
I met my wife in an mmo and the first 2 years of our relationship were online. After 3 years I moved to live near her. We have been together for about 18 or 19 years now so if you actually communicate it can work.
Yup, with a LD relationship like that, you have to fill in a lot of blanks about someone that you can’t determine - how are they in the morning? Do they pick up after themselves? Do they have any gross habits? There’s tonnes of little things that are entirely irrelevant in a remote setting but can really make a difference in person.
And naturally when you fill in those blanks, you tend to only fill them in with positives or you just don’t think about all those little things.
Nah, you’ve got it the wrong way around. It’s harder to intimately know someone when you’re being distracted by their face and body. An online relationship, especially when texting, is being exposed directly to the words of a person’s soul. A physical relationship is always had behind a mask, one that can’t represent the person because they didn’t actually choose it. Nobody’s really human, but in physical space everyone looks human. That’s why physical space is the opposite of reality. “IRL” is the internet, not meatspace.
That’s a weird take. Weird in the good way though, thought-provoking.
Buddha taught that when you perceive the world while thinking, you structure your experience of the world into an illusion. The only way to perceive objective reality is to perceive without thought. Which of course, means perceiving nothing at all. Rather similar to death when you think about it. Accordingly, the more of the world you are seeing, the less of reality you see. That’s why online relationships are realer. Physical bodies are an illusion that distorts relationships. Your attraction to your partner’s body can delude you into thinking a relationship is good, while your soul is starving because their personality is no good for you. And your lack of attraction can blind you to a very good relationship, which is especially obvious if your partner is trans and pre-transition. You could be a straight guy, your gf is a trans girl, and you’d be very happy in an online relationship with the real her, but the illusion of her male body ruins the relationship and makes your penis soft. It’s no good.
http://soulism.net