I heard european vegans like pasta, so I decided to try it. I put some pasta in a pot and boiled it, and put it on a plate, and then I ate it. And holy hell! This is the most bland, tasteless food I ever had the displeasure of eating! I couldn’t make it through a plate of the stuff. I heard europeans were into asceticism and temperance because of their religion, but this is ridiculous. I’m not going vegan and punishing myself with this crap! I’d probably starve to death if I was expected to have pasta every day.

I’m going to keep eating meat. In fact, after that ridiculously bland meal, I’m going to go have a seafood bowl with prawns, udon, and tofu! Now tofu, there’s a yummy food with lots of flavour possibility! You won’t catch me eating that bland vegan crap from europe.