WASHINGTON—Doing her best to appear elated while a large, throbbing vein protruded from her forehead, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was ‘really, really, really happy’ for Vice President Kamala Harris as she shook the presumptive Democratic nominee’s hand and refused to let go of it. “So, so, so proud of you for this huge accomplishment—there is no one more deserving of this than you,” said a stock-still, unblinking Clinton, who, when panicked advisors quietly asking her to release the presidential candidate’s hand, only widened her smile and clamped her fingers tighter, causing Harris’ bones to audibly crack. “Oh, don’t worry about us. We’re just two strong women having a great time. Ha ha ha. Girl power! Right, Kamala? Just think, you could become the first woman elected to the American presidency! What could possibly be better than that?” At press time, Clinton was reportedly being dragged away after pulling Harris in for a hug and attempting to snap her neck.

I found this satire piece to be absolutely delightful, capturing the potential rage that Hilary kept under wraps after it was announced that Trump won. It was a disappointing time, as that orange clown got the better of a far more fit person to serve in office.

  • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.socialEnglish
    489·
    5 months ago

    Hillary Clinton willingly campaigned with “close family friend” Henry Kissinger after it was public knowledge that he conspired with the Nixon campaign to sabotage Vietnam peace talks to win an election.

    Fuck her. She wasn’t less corrupt than Trump, she just wasn’t as stupid.

    • Tyfud@lemmy.worldEnglish
      493·
      5 months ago

      I mean, she’s a LOT less corrupt than trump. There are scales to this. trump literally stole state secrets to sell to our enemies for a profit; he tried to extort Ukraine, he’s so firmly in Putin’s pocket that he may as well be a Russian agent, and he’s threatening genocides and dictatorships and political violence daily, maybe hourly.

      So yeah, she’s a hell of a lot less corrupt. That doesn’t make her blameless or uncorrupt, but there’s shades of gray to this my man. :)

      • 1371113@lemmy.worldEnglish
        28·
        5 months ago

        She’s not dumb enough to get caught. At this stage governments all over the western world have been selling their voters taxes, health and wellbeing and service regulation to big business since at least the 80s. There’s not a single person near the top of any of these steaming shit heaps that isn’t greedy and amoral.

    • mindbleach@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      141·
      5 months ago

      The Idiot invited Kremlin agents into the Oval Office to laugh about firing the FBI director, and we only found out because Russian photographers published the pictures.

      She was a lot less corrupt than The Idiot.