• pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      Yes. It’s on you to manage your emotions. It’s not alright to treat your partner like an abuser because you were hurt in the past. Trauma doesn’t give you a free pass to treat people poorly.

      The people downvoting clearly haven’t been in a long term relationship with someone with severe PTSD. I’m going on 8 years, and while it’s getting better, it’s a huge struggle mentally to constantly be treated like you’re a bad person through absolutely no fault of your own. I’m in therapy specifically because of it.

      I have my own traumas from my past, but I work hard to not let it affect my relationship because it’s not fair to my SO to take that trauma out on them.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        6 months ago

        You don’t seem to know the difference between “difficult to deal with” and “abuse,” or there’s something else going on in your relationship beyond them just not trusting you easily. A difficulty or inability to managing emotions is also a symptom of certain traumas like PTSD so putting the onus on someone you know has this difficulty like that is in really poor taste and shows a lack of understanding.

        • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          No one is responsible for your reaction to your emotions except for yourself. If your issues cause you to treat your partner poorly, it’s on you to address them.

          Like I said at the beginning, having a reason for mistreating your partner doesn’t make it acceptable.

    • MindTraveller
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      8
      ·
      6 months ago

      Yes. Relationships are built on trust. If you won’t trust your partner, you’re not being a good partner to them.

      • shneancy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        6 months ago

        so is a person with trust issues who really struggled supposed to just go and die alone?

        this is just victim blaming

        • MindTraveller
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          They’re supposed to date someone who can take it, if they need to date. But dating someone who can’t handle it is abuse.

          • shneancy@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            6 months ago

            “if they need to date” bruh

            then the person who “can’t take it” has the responsibility of communicating it. Simply existing and having issues next to someone else is not fucking abuse. Why are you using that word so lightly

            • MindTraveller
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              5
              ·
              edit-2
              6 months ago

              Because I’ve been abused by people who were like this. It escalated. I had PTSD so bad I couldn’t work a full time job.

              • shneancy@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                4
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                6 months ago

                I’m sorry but you saying that you were abused by someone’s trust issues sounds like you expected full devotion and full trust out of your partner which does not convince me to believe you were the victim there.

                • pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  6 months ago

                  You clearly haven’t been in a relationship with someone who has PTSD and takes their anxiety out on you. It absolutely takes a toll on your mental health.

                  • shneancy@lemmy.world
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    1
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    6 months ago

                    the conversation is about trust issues, not ptsd or someone taking their anxiety on their partner