I’m always honest, sometimes I just run out of steam and she gets that.
This. Honest communication is key.
Honesty, 100%. I think deception during sex is a recipe for mental illness.
I tried faking it once, but it was… tricky, for obvious reasons. Since then I don’t bother and I just quit when I know it’s a lost cause. Unfortunately, it’s gotten more and more common as I’ve gotten older (and more out of shape).
Well, I can’t fake a creampie, so there’s that. We’re married and willing to have a kid if it happens, so no condoms or other birth control (yay!)
But, I’m disabled, so there’s times where we reach the point where pain makes the orgasm not worth it from me (luckily, she is able to achieve such quickly and easily with good technique).
We’re honest about such things. She knows it’s just my body not having the stamina it used to, not anything about her. So, if we hit the half hour/45 minute mark, and the pain is preventing it, we switch to getting her one last one (if she wants) through whatever methods she’s in the mood for, and then just cool off and cuddle.
But, yeah, I’ve always been open about that kind of thing. If I’m close enough to a person to be having sex with them, I’m not going to lie to them about anything. I’ve never been able to do quickies at all, and I’m up front about that, even with short term partners. Life is too short to bullshit through human interactions like that.
Sometimes I’m in a space to finish, sometimes not. Regardless, I enjoy the experience.
Honesty is always the right answer and when those situations have occurred honesty is what I’ve always gone with. Because honesty opens the door for conversation which can bring about understanding (my head was off elsewhere, I’m more tired then I thought I was, etc) which then allows for finding a solution and/or compromising. Plus I feel it’s a good rule of thumb in general to be honest about anything with the person you’re physically intimate with, granted for me there’s no chance of sexual interactions if I don’t feel emotionally safe, so your vantage point may be, and probably is, different.
If I can’t finish I still try to make sure she does, usually by going down on her until she does. I then just communicate with her what was going on with me.
One of my meds can cause issues with finishing. Like, I’m hard, I can keep going, but there is no longer a point for me other than making sure my partner finishes.
She takes it pretty hard, but its just a known side effect. Its also fairly uncommon, in almost a decade of marriage its happened three times.
So yeah, totally honest.
I guess I have never not finished, there has been a couple times she has finished before me and gives me like a courtesy 60 seconds, but when she is done I can definitely feel a difference and I get nervous that I need to finish which makes it hard to finish. In those instances I just usually finish myself off.
I’m honest about it. Normally my girlfriend will say something and then I’ll agree.
